150 quid a head for a leaving do?

[Anycrispsleft]

We have a colleague from our team of about 10 who is leaving for another job. He's been there for years - I think it was his first job out of uni. Usually when someone leaves we have a collection in the whole department and people chip in about 5 or 10 euro and they get a present, and we go out for a meal with them and pay their meal but it's like maybe 30 quid a head.

Now I've just been invited to a group chat where two of my colleagues have come up with an idea for the leaving do to go to a local Michelin starred restaurant and have the tasting and wine tasting menu there for 150 euro a head. Our boss agreed, and then they shared the chat with the rest of us, including an apprentice, a placement student and one of our colleagues who's on a much lower pay grade and has got young kids.

There's no bloody way I'm forking out 150 quid for to sit and eat dinner with my colleagues - christ, for DH's 50th we didn't spend that much - but I'm wondering if I should try and word my reply in a sort of "have you really thought this through" sort of way in case some of our colleagues are going to feel pressured into saying yes?

Yes quid is used for euros in Ireland.

Good message OP, I imagine others will be relieved too.

ETA, cross post!

This. If you're more senior, stand up for your junior colleagues who may not feel able to say something.

I would be very clear that the reason I can't go is because of the cost and that I would be surprised if the cost didn't preclude other team members.

I don't get why someone would organise this in the first place. Im sure my job situation is different from this (public service so no paid Christmas do's etc ) but everything I've ever organised has been based on what is going to be accessible to the largest number of people - cost, place, time etc

Fuck that. No way would I make excuses, I’d tell the truth- it’s far too expensive and not fair on junior members of the team.
Sometimes the well paid senior managers just don’t think. I once had a senior person being utterly shocked at how little PhD students get - he was saying how can anyone live on that? He was dumbfounded when we said that’s a normal amount, it’s what all PhD students have to live on, and the junior staff members of the department were on a wage that was very little more than that. He was from a wealthy family and had no idea.

Thanks, I hadn’t heard it used by an Irish person about Euros before.

When I was working, the done thing was for the person leaving to host their do, either a cold buffet at lunchtime in the office, or invite everyone to the pub and buy their first drink. Or just depart without a do. World of work has changed!

That's mad. Unless the company is paying.

You really thought the term 'quid' is universally understood? Why would people in foreign countries know British slang?

Perfect message. Please share any responses.

Quid would be widely used in relation to Euro.

No way I’d spend 150 quid on a work meal…

I would be honest and say “I’m sorry that’s out of my budget. Hope you have a lovely time.” Someone needs to point out the madness.

I suspect they are trying to limit who is going and will be happy if it's just a small clique that are happy to pay that.

That's madness, I wouldn't want to spend that on dinner with my own family probably, never mind someone I'm never going to see again 😂

That cost can fuck right off.

Perfect response. No messing around there. It's bloody cheeky to expect that amount of money to be spent on someone's leaving do. I retired three years ago, but I can remember people not coming to a meal that cost £35 because it was too expensive. £150 is taking the piss.

You’ve done the decent thing, OP.

That’s an insane idea, does the person leaving know about it?

That’s ridiculous! I’ve never spent that on a meal.

I hope the juniors have followed suit. TBH I’d have told the group organiser in person I thought it poor behaviour to expect that of junior staff.

I wonder how happy the person leaving will be when only two colleagues and the boss show up, they have a €150 bill, and none of the rest of the team come. They'll certainly feel they made the right decision to jump ship, I think!

Perfect!

Absolute madness.

Well done OP. Lead by example. £150 per person is too much! Unless your company is paying

I put YABU because it's for others to decide. Some people use work nights out as a add on to their social life. My DP would have no interest in this type of night out, so a waste of £150, but I would, but wouldn't go alone. You and whoever else isn't going could offer a pub meet up.

Is the employer putting money into this? They have a budget each year to spend on staff - it’s £150 each I think, it’s a tax break. Is that what’s happening here? If not then absolutely just say it’s too steep and perhaps doing something else so all can attend?

in case some of our colleagues are going to feel pressured into saying yes?

At that price people won't feel pressured. It will be a straightforward no.