150 quid a head for a leaving do?

[Anycrispsleft]

We have a colleague from our team of about 10 who is leaving for another job. He's been there for years - I think it was his first job out of uni. Usually when someone leaves we have a collection in the whole department and people chip in about 5 or 10 euro and they get a present, and we go out for a meal with them and pay their meal but it's like maybe 30 quid a head.

Now I've just been invited to a group chat where two of my colleagues have come up with an idea for the leaving do to go to a local Michelin starred restaurant and have the tasting and wine tasting menu there for 150 euro a head. Our boss agreed, and then they shared the chat with the rest of us, including an apprentice, a placement student and one of our colleagues who's on a much lower pay grade and has got young kids.

There's no bloody way I'm forking out 150 quid for to sit and eat dinner with my colleagues - christ, for DH's 50th we didn't spend that much - but I'm wondering if I should try and word my reply in a sort of "have you really thought this through" sort of way in case some of our colleagues are going to feel pressured into saying yes?

“150 a head? Wise up”

Or: “that’s very generous of the company to cover this for all of us” and then follow up with “you can’t expect people to pay that”.

Dont leave it to the lesser paid staff to have to speak up/beg borrow and steal to manage!

Right I've sent it. "That's a bit too expensive for me so I won't be coming but I hope you all have a nice time" - normally I would not be so blunt and would prevaricate and tie myself in knots but hopefully that's just blunt enough without being rude.

A perfect response. I think a lot of your colleagues will be secretly grateful to you.

No chance. And it wouldn't even be 150 quid - you'd be expected to cover the leaver's meal also. Unless I worked in the best office in the universe, there is no way I'd be shelling out that much.

Read OPs update, it's already been sent

That’s a perfect answer OP. I do hope those that go or the bosses chip in for the guy who’s leaving. It would be a bit mean to expect him to pay £150 for his own leaving do!

That's ridiculous for a colleagues leaving dinner. I would pay that for a special birthday or anniversary but not for a work thing. It will be interesting to see how many others follow your lead.

One year at work my managers organised our Christmas night to a masked ball that was about £100 entry and didn't even come with a complimentary drink. We also had to fork out for a ballgown and travel as it wasn't local. We were all nursery staff on minimum wage. I was heavily pregnant so didn't go anyway, but no one else went except for the 2 managers and the deputy. Just say no and don't go. It's too expensive and a busy time of year. I'd just tell them that reason.

Oh good grief. They are bonkers. £150 for a leaving bash, each!!!!

I am really glad you said it's too expensive.

I hope others point out how un-inclusive this idea is.

What absolutely not especially before Xmas.

Yes - I think this is absolutely key. It’s never the people that could afford it that feel shamed into agreeing to things like this!

I'd be surprised if they could get a booking in a Michelin starred restaurant for a large group at this time of year - or are they planning significantly in advance?

I'd be taking the boss aside and giving him a nudge to remind him that not everyone has that cash to spare. He should really row back on this from the top, and not leave people feeling embarrassed/under pressure.

If the boss thinks it’s such a good idea why doesn’t the company pay for it! Or buy the person a voucher so they can go by themselves. I wouldn’t fork out £15 for a leaving lunch let alone £150.

If the boss has agreed, is the company paying for it??? Silly question, I know but I would be asking on the shared chat!

"I didn't spend that much on DH's 50th birthday dinner ! Sorry guys but it's way out of my price range. Happy to join you for a drink or something a bit more budget"

That sounds like a perfect message, @Anycrispsleft.

Frankly I am staggered that anyone at your work thought this was a reasonable idea.

God that's crazy. Who has £150 to spend of a meal for a colleague's leaving do. A £15 pub lunch sounds much more normal.

No replies yet on the chat... got a thumbs up from one of the instigators though so maybe they'll just cheerfully take it on the chin. I think if you're going to com e up with an idea like "why don't we all spend 150 euro on a leaving do" you have to be ready not to take offence at a flat no 😀

Regarding the euro/quid thing- I'm not Irish, I'm Scottish, and I live on the continent. I couldn't give up "quid" though - when I want to express outrage at the price of something I revert to the language of my parents 😊

This was my thought

Yeah it's for after Christmas... we've got a separate Christmas do.
I'm swerving that one as well!

Please please please as a higher earner say you can't make it.
I have been in position of both.
I remember being a student and invited to one of these fancy dinners with senior members earning ten times as me.
To top it off the highest earner added ten percent to the bill as a tip. I was annoyed but noone questioned it.
I was earning 8.50 and the tip was my hourly wage!!! I was thinking jeez why did I bother coming. To top it off, the food was awful and far too posh for me to enjoy.
Why can't people just do a nice office meal where everyone chips in for pizza and sits together and enjoys. It is the company after all.
Let's face it. I ain't spending money with work people. You have to pay me to work with them.

Now in a senior role, I just stick to asking everyone to chip in for pizza and if you are a student then we don't ask them to pay.

£150.....that's a weekend away for me or a lovely present for my parents. Defo not spending it on food.

Would you say quid if you were in the United States and it was a price in dollars though?

The headline is drawing people in though - £150 sounds like more than the £123 it actually is (though that is admittedly still far too much for a leaving do..)

I think you made the right choice in saying it is just too expensive, I’ve no doubt other people will follow your lead now.

€150 for a colleague’s leaving do is madness, and as another poster already said if I was the colleague I’d be mortified at people spending that sort of money on account of me leaving.

It's not for you to say whether you think it's going to be too expensive for others! That's very patronising.

Simply reply that you can't make it and wish them all a lovely time.

That's not what drew me in and so what if it is?

For me there isn't much between 150 and 123, they are both far far too high