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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Both of my kids currently just look like their dad- what's that about ?

39 replies

mummtoboyngirl · 09/12/2024 04:49

They're 2 and 4 at present.

They just don't look like me really. My boy (2) maybe looks a bit like me, but the girl doesn't really.

When my son was born, he really looked like me. But now he mainly looks like a clone of his dad. Especially in pics when my husband was his age.

My daughter has pretty much always looked more like her dad. She also has his eye colour and hair/ skin colour.

My son has a more similar hair and skin colour to me. We are all Mediterranean but my husband has more olive skin than me. I'm paler with paler brown eyes and lighter hair ( light brown ) whereas my husband and daughter have dark brown hair and eyes.

Anyway. I know it's stupid but I would like them to look more like me too. They just look like a blend of my husbands family ( especially my daughter ).

I know people say it changes when they grow up. Any experiences ? My sister in law looked like her dad and grandma when she was a baby / young and now is the spitting image of her mum. So here's to hoping.

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 09/12/2024 05:14

There is a theory that men are more likely to bond with their littlies and less likely to abandon them if they look like them. Then as they grow, they begin to look more like their mums.
** Not entirely sure how factual this is, btw…. I have not fact checked it. (Also, 2/3 of mine clearly look more like me, but they’re also girls.)

yipyipyop · 09/12/2024 05:16

Both my sons look like me and I'm pretty sure my dh won't abandon them

RudolfIsMySpiritAnimal · 09/12/2024 05:29

Yeah, my DH’s DNA pretty much trampled over mine. We have two and I always wondered if we’d had a third would they have looked like me, or would I just have got a third clone!

As they get older I can see more of me in them though. DD is 13 now and has my figure (when I was younger - not now!), and DS has my smile and face shape. But still, no one is going to mistake them for anyone other than DH’s kids.

CottonCandyLand · 09/12/2024 05:32

My son looks nothing like me and not much like his Dad either, although a lot of people think he looks like his Dad. He has MiL’s (and DH’s) nose. I can’t see anything of me in him. He is mine though.

EmmerdaleFan78 · 09/12/2024 05:32

My son is his dad’s double and also looks a lot like my half brother. He looks absolutely nothing like me 😢

romdowa · 09/12/2024 05:39

He just has stronger dna. My son is a mini me , just with eye colour from dhs side. He did at one point look like fil and then my father but now it's just all me .

BlackChunkyBoots · 09/12/2024 05:54

DNeice & DNephew have mixed heritage but still look the spit of my DB, even now, and they are grown up.

MaggieFS · 09/12/2024 06:14

It's funny how it works out, isn't it, when we're all 50:50.

Could be worse for you, my good friend has two girls. One looks almost identical to her, and it was joked when she was a baby as to whether there were any of friend's husband's genes in her.

Second baby is the spit of... friend's loathed MIL. It must be the "female version" of friend's husband but it's hard to see any of the husband in her, just pure MIL. Friend of course absolutely loves her DD to bits, but still sometimes gets a wobble when she talks to her six year old and MIL looks back.

WhatMe123 · 09/12/2024 06:22

Well I have dd1 that looks identical to her dad na show brother and then my dd2 who just looks like my own mum, brother and niece (clearly it's my genes but she still looks more like my brother than me) 😂😂 dna is a strange thing I guess. Personality wise dd1 is a carbon copy of me however though

WhatMe123 · 09/12/2024 06:22

I meant her dad and his brother **

CyranoDeBergerQuack · 09/12/2024 06:26

mummtoboyngirl · 09/12/2024 04:49

They're 2 and 4 at present.

They just don't look like me really. My boy (2) maybe looks a bit like me, but the girl doesn't really.

When my son was born, he really looked like me. But now he mainly looks like a clone of his dad. Especially in pics when my husband was his age.

My daughter has pretty much always looked more like her dad. She also has his eye colour and hair/ skin colour.

My son has a more similar hair and skin colour to me. We are all Mediterranean but my husband has more olive skin than me. I'm paler with paler brown eyes and lighter hair ( light brown ) whereas my husband and daughter have dark brown hair and eyes.

Anyway. I know it's stupid but I would like them to look more like me too. They just look like a blend of my husbands family ( especially my daughter ).

I know people say it changes when they grow up. Any experiences ? My sister in law looked like her dad and grandma when she was a baby / young and now is the spitting image of her mum. So here's to hoping.

Plastic surgery?
If that's not on the cards, you're going to have to be less vain. Why do you need them to look like you? So people know they are yours?

SabrinaThwaite · 09/12/2024 06:27

I remember a random mum in the school playground leaning into the pram to look at DS and declaring ‘there’s no doubt about who his dad is’ Confused

At 20 he doesn’t look much like either of us now.

Eenameenadeeka · 09/12/2024 07:27

I definitely think it changes as they grow up, 3 of my 4 were just like their Dad but have changed over the years

DappledThings · 09/12/2024 07:38

I don't even know who mine look most like. They look like themselves. DD was the spit of DH as a toddler. Sometimes I get flashes of all their grandparents in them. Never occurred to me to be bothered by it

TickingAlongNicely · 09/12/2024 07:43

My DD was born with black hair. It then went blonde... before darkening again to brown. Her eyes went from grey to brown.

autumnboys · 09/12/2024 07:51

2 of ours look like DH laid an egg, but the middle one looks like me. Our oldest has his paternal grandad’s mannerisms, but the middle is like my dad is the way he sits and stands, which is particularly weird as my dad died before he was born. It’s weird to me how the genetics have formed both their looks and some of their mannerisms.

DefyingGravy · 09/12/2024 07:54

Do you have photos of your wider family when they were young?

You would think my nephew (my sister’s son) takes after his dad completely, but if you look at a photo of my dad as a child the similarity is very striking.

Likewise we always thought my sister was the spitting image of my grandma’s sister (as there was a photo of her as a young woman up in the house). But I recently saw a photo of our great grandma on the other side of the family, she’s about 50 in the photo as is my sister now, and it IS my sister. I was really surprised as I thought my sister didn’t take after that side of the family at all.

Hadalifeonce · 09/12/2024 07:55

When DS was born, I jokingly asked for a maternity test, as he was so like DH it was as if my genes were not there at all.
24 years later I think he still looks like DH, we recently met some people DS has know for a while, they both said how much like me he is. I still can't see it.

Katemax82 · 09/12/2024 07:58

My oldest looks nothing like his dad and only like me... in fact you wouldn't think they are father and son especially as my son is 5inches taller than his dad too! He finds it funny (yes he is his son just inherited all my genes)

sickandtiredofitallnow · 09/12/2024 08:18

I was a mini dad when I was young, even walked like him.

Took a photo of myself the other day (I'm now in my 60s) and even my sister thought it was our late mum!

Unless your husband looks like the back of a bus quit worrying!

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 09/12/2024 08:21

Mine were both the spit of their dad growing up. They are now in their 20s and you still couldn't pick me out of a line up as their mum. I guess their dad has strong genes. Grin

Zanatdy · 09/12/2024 08:22

I have 3 kids, 2 look like me, 1 is the image of his dad. Dad of DS2 and DD is of Indian heritage, DS looks just like his dad, it’s freaky how similar they look. DD has much paler skin and blue eyes, she is stunning. The blue eyes were a surprise. Genetics are amazing.

socks1107 · 09/12/2024 08:25

One of mine is the image of dad but at 20 she's starting to look more and more like me. The other one is my clone.
Yesterday we saw some family and I couldn't believe how my husband's nephew is the image of his daughter! I thought she was like her mum but it was like looking at sd all afternoon ( which is unnerving as we don't speak) and I know dh saw it too as he kept looking at him!

WalterdelaMare · 09/12/2024 08:28

Our kids look nothing like either of us, nor each other. I have 3 siblings and we could not look more different. People are usually really surprised to hear we’re related. I actually love this trait.

Sharptonguedwoman · 09/12/2024 08:28

DD doesn't look like either of us, absolute hybrid.
Visiting friends once, there was a snapshot of a toddler on the mantelpiece, wearing some sort of romper suit. Facial features made the child an obvious family member. I asked if it was their DD1 or DD2. It was neither, it was grandad on the father's side. Grandad, son and granddaughters are all absolute clones. DD2 had a baby-another absolute clone of GGD. genes are weird.

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