Please help me urgently

[26YearOldFailure]

Sorry to post here!! I have a male relative that has been harrassing us (I live with my mom), he tried to break in a few weeks ago, police were called. They've said that if he comes again then to call 999. The door is knocking but I can't see out of the window if it's him and I can't see his car. It's not the wind as the door knocker hasn't wen't all day. Not sure if I should call the police in this instance

I would speak to your MP if you don't get any luck from your council. Hopefully the ring doorbell will help. In future just ring the police straight away rather than worrying like this. I really do feel for you.

What a horrible thing to go through OP.

Just phone 999 straight away if this happens again. Give them the information, let them make the decision whether or not to come out.

I used to work in a police force. They absolutely would have sent someone round to you if they had someone available, it’s possible that with the storm etc it might have been too busy. But that decision is for the control room to make, you don’t have to feel that you have to make it.

Lots of good advice here about protecting yourself too, do take that, and report every little thing to the police. They need to be able to see the bigger picture adding up.

Never feel like you're wasting police time in this situation. Always call. Women have died because they didn't want to waste police time or called too late.
You were on your own.

OP, when my lovely ex was stalking me and threatening to set fire to my house, the fire brigade came round and fitted a fireproof box to the letterbox. They did this free of charge and did a general fire safety check on the house too.

I especially think this is important for you given there is only one entrance/exit to your home.

They were absolutely lovely and very reassuring. You can give your local station a call and ask for there help.

If this is real, speak to your local fire brigade about a fire reduction letterbox.

Please do this next time. It’s what the police are there for.

I will make the suggestion about having the door changed, I understand the council will say it's a non emergency so I will try the temporary measures that you and others have kindly suggested

Thank you so much for posting this, I had no idea. This is really helpful and I'll be having a look today!!

I wanted to add that we have a marker on our house for 12 months.

Also, thank you for everyone reguarding comments on my username. I've had a very tough year, poor health, hospitalisation, losing my job and other things and when I turned 26 last month it sort of just emphasised that feeling of being a failure

My friend had threats to her life made by her ex husband. The police fitted a ring doorbell for her and a fire protection bag thing to her letterbox at no cost to her. She also had an emergency flag attached to her phone number so if she called the police at any time they would immediately send officers round to the house before she even spoke to anyone. This was all set up by the police. Speak to them they can help you

Call the Police (not sure why you would hesitate)
Call neighbours
Call other family members
Call friends
Call anyone you know who can help

Sorry haven't read the whole thread but if you need assistance getting police to do their job (sadly these things are not always well handled) contact Suzy Lamplugh trust they can hopefully allocate you a support work to assist with getting a nonmolestation order against this individual.

You need to get a ring camera

If you cannot change the door, cover the glass (inside) with black card or plastic

I NEVER answer my door without looking first.

{but have an upstairs room that enables discreet looking to see who is there}

Doubt police would come as they are so stretched for serious crime-If all he is doing is knocking.

Get a ''ring'' doorbell - that should put him off.

Now that is scary.
I had that one night {quarter past midnight} he was dressed in a cycle helmet - no way on God's green earth do I know anyone dressed in a cycle helmet.

He was shining a torch through my windows and banging for 15 minutes.

Thank goodness my male neighbour heard the racket and went to investigate-

It was a bloody deliveroo man.

I never order takeaways , so he must have got the wrong address.

I was literally shaking - it was the banging on glass windows that seemed so aggressive.

Just fuck off!!!!!!

I'd just do it myself

Apologies if this has been suggested already, I’m about to go out so have not read the full thread.

Have a look outside your door to see what could have been banging on it if it was the wind, it must have been a fairly large object if it sounded like someone knocking. Is there a tree nearby or a large bush? If there is nothing likely within reach, then it must have been a person so I’d register the incident with the police.

I don't know why you feel like a failure? But you're 26. I know that can feel old. I hated being 25. I wasn't where I wanted to be in life & I felt old. Now at 55 that sound daft, but it's how I felt. What I can say from 55, is that you really are just at the start of your adult life & can change so much your life relationships, job/career, children. You obviously can't change the past, but you can change the future

you cannot be a failure at 26, literally cannot. Whatever's making you feel a failure, decide where you want to be with that at 50 or younger & plan how to get there!

seal your letterbox yourself & screw one to the wall outside. You probably don't have the right drill for it but someone you know will.

OP, a can of silver frosting spray would cover the glass completely and can easily be washed off if necessary. It gives complete privacy for a fiver on glass.

OP the police offer a service where they come round and check your home to make sure it's secure. They suggest safety measures you can put in place to minimise break ins etc. Worth doing. Hope you're ok x

The OP has already said one is on its way.

Hi everyone, just a quick update. I'm feeling so relieved. Someone had just come knocking the door and I decieded to answer as it's day time, kept the chain on the door and this lad was outside and he said "is this not (neigbbours name) house?" I said no and asked if he'd been knocking last night and he said yes and genuinely apologised for scaring me. Will still be exploring all of the options that everyone has posted on the thread, thank you all for supporting me

Glad to read the update and I hope you manage to put into action some of the advice and have a calm peaceful Christmas and forever more.

For Christ sake , who orders food that late and how inconsiderate that the delivery driver was knocking on someone’s door at that time of night. There really should be laws on delivery times.
I occasionally get them setting off my ring fires bell at 10.30pm or later and it’s very annoying.