Please help me urgently

[26YearOldFailure]

Sorry to post here!! I have a male relative that has been harrassing us (I live with my mom), he tried to break in a few weeks ago, police were called. They've said that if he comes again then to call 999. The door is knocking but I can't see out of the window if it's him and I can't see his car. It's not the wind as the door knocker hasn't wen't all day. Not sure if I should call the police in this instance

That's a good point actually. I will make sure to ring if it starts up again

Police, now,

Let us know when they have been round, and you are ok.

Have to say for the last 2 hours the wind direction must have changed because I've just gone downstairs to tape down the stupid door knocker and letterbox as doing my head in constantly thinking someone was knocking when I'm trying to sleep lol

Thanks all for your help

Is Initial confusion whether wind or person knocking over?
Can u 101/non urgent /email police?
IF is relative n you genuinely scared / intimidated or just don't want them to be at door state that,if anything will be noted on system.

You can buy bags that fit over your letterbox to contain any incendiaries someone might put through the letterbox. Speak to your local fire brigade - they may be able to fit one for you.

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All ok OP? Hope you are sleeping:)

In future, just call 999.

I hope you’re now sleeping. Practically, you could cut up some cardboard and sellotape it over the glass so that no one can see you approaching the door. Or change the door / the glass panels for something more secure if that’s feasible.

I would ring your mum to make sure she's bot locked out and also ring 101 to report the knocking incident so they have a log of it

Hope you are asleep now op. That must’ve been so scary for you. What a horrible man he sounds - he’s the failure, not you. Take care of yourself and your mom

If the police have already said they will arrest him then you are not wasting their time by calling. They’d much rather arrive to find him and arrest him or know he’s gone than find you injured or worse. Good idea with the door camera as you’ll have evidence but call the police every time.
By police arresting stalkers you’re strengthening the case for action as it goes down as ‘ successful action’ or similar term. This not only helps you but can help other women too.

OP, I am married to a police officer and you would definitely NOT be wasting their time for this. They do actually WANT to be called to this sort of thing. Despite some people’s negative experiences with the police and I’ve had them too although not my own DH (and I’ve been married to DH for 24yrs of which 17 he’s been police). They will come.

@26YearOldFailure (no you're not!!!)

I hope you finally got some sleep!

have you thought about getting your letter box sealed up & putting a lockable one on the wall outside?? You can't spend the rest of your life putting a bowl of water under your letter box and anyway that won't help if he throws something in!

Are you on the council house for a property? I would assume/hope you'd get to the top of the list in situations like this?!

Hope you got some sleep :(

I think you should call the police just so they have a record of it. Have you also filed a restraining order against this man? The police should help you find somewhere safe even if it is just temporary because it is really not safe for you to stay there. Ideally there should be cameras everywhere. They should also have more patrols around that area until they are caught. Unfortunately police these days do nothing until it's too late and a crime has already happened.

Are you afraid he will set fire to the house? Is that why you put water under the letter box? Can you seal the letter box and buy a letter box to attach to the wall outside? And change the door to one with no window or letter box, just a peep hole.

Apply for a non molestation order - you don’t need a lawyer but might qualify for legal aid. It’s v straightforward and will usually stay in place for a year and can be extended.

Surely if it's anyone you'd want to let in they'd phone you ?

There’s something wrong when a woman sits in terror for over half an hour asking strangers online what to do when there’s a history of violence.

It might be worth contacting the council and seeing if you can move far away under a management transfer: https://www.wandsworth.gov.uk/housing/council-tenants-and-leaseholders/council-tenants/council-tenant-rehousing-options/rehousing-because-of-abuse-violence-or-harassment/

Morning everyone, hardly slept. I told my mom what happened and she said she'll ask the neighbour for cctv footage. I'm hoping that it did turn out to just be the wind, thanks all for your support

My mom contacted the council and they pretty much said there's nothing they can do, even with everything that's happened (including previous unrelated incidents)

This is a good idea, thank you!

I'll speak to my mom about this when she comes back as she has a lot of evidence to show harrassment, thank you