Please help me urgently

[26YearOldFailure]

Sorry to post here!! I have a male relative that has been harrassing us (I live with my mom), he tried to break in a few weeks ago, police were called. They've said that if he comes again then to call 999. The door is knocking but I can't see out of the window if it's him and I can't see his car. It's not the wind as the door knocker hasn't wen't all day. Not sure if I should call the police in this instance

Yes, and honestly I was surprised that anyone was out yesterday with the weather

(Thank you, I do feel like a failure though)

I know this is no way to live. Council have been contacted and been given the whole story and they've pretty much said there's nothing they can do

Thank you for your helpful response.

Didn't want to waste police time in case there was nobody actually there. As I said, I couldn't see any cars outside so was hard to know if someone was actually outside or not.

Have a think today about what measures you can take to feel more secure. I know it's a council house so you're possibly limited with alterations but the ring doorbell is a good start. Ring also do cctv so you could get other cameras if the doorbell doesn't cover certain areas. Would the council change the door to a non glass one? If not then maybe look into opaque film or something that can be stuck on the glass so people can't see in.

You can speak to the police about sanctuary measures , if this is a pattern of behaviour (which it definitely seems it is) and there are ongoing offences, which there are. It's sometimes called different things in different areas, and some police forces have people who fit things themselves, others contract it out to housing providers but the cost is covered. It's things like motion activated security lights, firebags on letterboxes, ring doorbells, reinforced doors and in some instances they will put a reinforced door on one of the bedrooms as a safety room and you have a panic button in there which looks to police.
I also agree about seeking a non molestation order or anti harassment injunction. Police can also apply DVPNs/DVPOs and apply to court for stalking prevention orders, which one is best will depend on the specifics of your circumstances. If you have an officer on charge speak to them, you can also speak to the NCDV who are experts in obtaining these legal measures. https://www.ncdv.org.uk/about-ncdv/#:~:text=The%20National%20Centre%20for%20Domestic,the%20legal%20profession%20and%20judiciary.

I don't understand complexities but would council move you to a different property?
This is terrifying, I'm so sorry. I hope you get some sleep today

Next time, call 999. If nobody is there then they will tell you that. Moving is best if you can manage it any way at all; even moving to a smaller flat short-term and moving again would be better than staying at risk.

Buy a few newspapers and some duct tape today and cover up the glass on the door. It won’t look pretty but at least he won’t be able to look in.

Was just coming on to say this

You're dealing with an awful situation, and you found a way to do it. I hope today is a better on for you

I'd have to be dead before the police took harassment seriously where I am.

OP I am sorry to even have to ask this but do you have any male friends/relatives who can stay with you, especially the times you are on your own? Men take the threat from other men much more seriously unfortunately

Repasting because this post contains such great information:

“MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · Today 08:09

26YearOldFailure · Today 07:59
I'll speak to my mom about this when she comes back as she has a lot of evidence to show harrassment, thank you
Show quote history
You can speak to the police about sanctuary measures , if this is a pattern of behaviour (which it definitely seems it is) and there are ongoing offences, which there are. It's sometimes called different things in different areas, and some police forces have people who fit things themselves, others contract it out to housing providers but the cost is covered. It's things like motion activated security lights, firebags on letterboxes, ring doorbells, reinforced doors and in some instances they will put a reinforced door on one of the bedrooms as a safety room and you have a panic button in there which looks to police.
I also agree about seeking a non molestation order or anti harassment injunction. Police can also apply DVPNs/DVPOs and apply to court for stalking prevention orders, which one is best will depend on the specifics of your circumstances. If you have an officer on charge speak to them, you can also speak to the NCDV who are experts in obtaining these legal measures. https://www.ncdv.org.uk/about-ncdv/#:~:text=The%20National%20Centre%20for%20Domestic,the%20legal%20profession%20and%20judiciary.”

Breach of a non-mol is an arrestable offence and carries a sentence of up to 5 years in prison. The police can involve the fire brigade for safety measures.

Definitely consider a doorbell camera. You’ll be able to see outside and who is there and you’ll also have evidence of he tries anything.

Also wanted to add, that you are not a failure

The systems that should support you and protect you are failing.

The man that has harassed and terrified you is a failure.

But I am 100% confident that you are not a failure

So am I correct in thinking you’re not sure what is was someone actually at the door ?

Either way , the incident is now obviously over but here’s what I would do straight away.

Ring door bell. Very easy to install , if your not confident , just get someone to put up. You need to ideally have recordings on it to your phone so it doesn’t just show you live footage . It’s costs about £50 a year to have recording footage but definitely worth it. So you can re play the footage as evidence.

If the front door isn’t yours, maybe ask the council or landlord if you can change it at your own cost. Then say you’ll put the original front door back in when you move out. You’ll obviously have to store the existing door somewhere.

Is there a neighbourhood watch scheme? Sadly, these don’t seem as common as they were years ago.

Report every unwanted visit with the police. That means every incident is logged. I’d consider logging with your council or landlord too.Maybe they can suggest something?

Dial 999 if you feel threatened. Especially someone coming out of hours. This isn’t normal.

If this happens again OP just phone the police and don’t wait. They told you to phone them so just phone them. You aren’t wasting their time.

You can buy spray to make the glass opaque and you can also buy plastic film that makes glass opaque (it’s often used in bathrooms) - just can just cut it to size and stick it on. Neither will cost much and I’d definitely feel better if no-one can look in. It’s a good call to seal your letter box too. Hope the Ring doorbell arrives soon!

If you're concerned about the risk of things through the door get a special gadget for the letterbox. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Retardant-Letterbox-Internal-Security-Prevents/dp/B00B1SWK5I

There will be crime prevention advice out there probably via the police.

Ring 999 if he comes again.
It's an ongoing situation that needs dealing with.

Police have advised you to ring so please do

This is a very good idea.

Secondly you can buy like a plastic film coveeing thing, that covers the glass panels either side of your door. I'd hate to have someone at my door peering in through the sides into the home.

Please call the police if it starts again

That’s my point, the fact that you were more concerned about wasting the time of the police when you were justifiably scared for your safety. Factoring in the real threat you need to think of yourself first and make that call if you find yourself in a similar position.

Yes this. It’s up to the police to risk assess the situation then.

This ^

I think taping the knocker down with duct tape is the way forward.
This way any knocking you'll know is deliberate.
I would also report this to 101 today. I know you can't be sure, but there's a strong likelihood it was, so get it noted xx

You need to use the ring doorbell to video him, then you can have this as part of your evidence for a non molestation order. sorry you are going through this.

Also wanted to add, that you are not a failure
The systems that should support you and protect you are failing.
The man that has harassed and terrified you is a failure.
But I am 100% confident that you are not a failure

This with bloody bells on!

Fit the Ring doorbell when it arrives, request a non molestation order, contact the organisations that posters have kindly mentioned and always call the Police.

Stay strong, I hope this is resolved quickly.