AIBU or does anyone else thinks that most (not all) men are inherently lazy?

[SunnyPinkMouse]

as I get older I am becoming more intolerable to men. I think they’re lazy. I think they are mummy’s boys. They get out of helping. They get out of doing a lot of things. They just do what they want to do. Why? Is it because their mums let them get away with this growing up and so they continue this way and then expect their wives to replace their mum?

They're far too coddled.

I disagree.
Maybe you’re just swimming in a low quality pool of example?

My dh isn't lazy. Loads of men aren't.
I don't think it's necessarily laziness that you mean op...I think it's selfishness at the crux of it.

A big part of the problem is that women put up with it.

I have an idea that a significant amount of men were raised by single mothers and having seen their single mothers do everything, expect that is what all women do.

But yes, a good proportion of them are really lazy too.

Yeah I agree.

My brother doesn't do a single chore, and my mum is just like 'well men don't when they get home from work, they need to relax'.

But women are expected to crack on and typically be the default parent. No relaxing for us.

When I first meet my mother in law, she said to me, “Men need more free time than women”. I said, “No they don’t, they just have an expectation they’re going to get it.” I don’t think they’re all lazy, but I do think that if you paired up men and women and made them do the exact same amount of work, every single man would think he had done more.

No idea the men i know aren't but the women i know are not martyrs either

My dh isn’t lazy. But then neither is his dad. He had a really positive male role model growing up. Why is it solely down to mum’s to raise their children? Let’s not blame women for men’s shortcomings.

The standards and expectations of men are low. You even did it yourself by finding a way to blame women for mens actions.

Most men are not lazy. Neither are most women.
Who seriously believes this sexist crap?

@Nellodee and @Ladamesansmerci My MIL is exactly like that, in fact I I’ve heard her say this verbatim. So frustrating to have to hear this in 2024 and in front of my other half. I don’t want him to think that this is an acceptable attitude

I’d agree most men are lazy in terms of housework (and clueless too-assuming a woman will do it if they won’t?!) as opposed to work but I take umbrage to the mummy’s boy thing- why can women have great relationships with their parents and a man is in regular contact with his mother and he’s a mummy’s boy? I’ve 4 boys and looking at mumsnet I regularly wonder at what age they’re supposed to not have significant contact 😅

Surely he’s an adult able to think for himself, and so be responsible for his own actions? My husband works in a prison and is surrounded by people who think it’s acceptable to break the law. I don’t worry he’s going to go out and commit a crime. And if he does that’s on him, not them.

My DH isn't lazy, he does a lot of housework but the difference is he expects praise or thanks when he does! Whereas when I do it, it's just expected.

Yes selfish is what it is. They can work hard on things that they want to

Nonsense in my experience.

i am the lazy one in our house. My husband does everything. I merely direct operations and make him think I’m completely indispensable in doing so.

@stayathomer i think mummy’s boys are when the man can’t seem to extract himself from his mum and be independent. It’s a bit like he lives for his mum rather than anyone else. Not sure why? Guilt, fear?

I thinkmsome men are lazy, but so are some women. Don't settle and seek an equal partner whi works as hard as you would be my advice.

@DontCallMeKidDontCallMeBaby i think that is a very different comparison. We all know it’s wrong to commit a crime.

No. I don’t. If you look at what men achieve in their professional lives or their hobbies, not at all. Women who complain about this need to aim higher and expect more. YABU.

@Comedycook and @DinosaurMunch i think you’re right, maybe it is selfishness

I’m also a prison officer, and you’d be stunned at the amount of people who really don’t.

It’s the first rule of misogyny isn’t it, blame the woman. Has your husband never had a single man in his life who could have set him a good example?

Most men have been conditioned, from the moment they were born, to put their own interests first, whereas most girls, even now, are encouraged to be 'nice' and 'kind'.

Men see that men run the world. It's not as bad as it used to be, but it still permeates every aspect of our lives. It's way easier for men to earn more and get promoted than women. Plus they are physically stronger.

It all adds up to a powerful sense of entitlement. At its most basic it means that many men feel that they are too important to clean the loo, but it also allows them to walk into positions of power for which they may be less well qualified than female applicants.

@Screamingabdabz disagree. I have hobbies, my other half doesn’t. I have pushed more in my profession, he hasn’t. But you’re saying I need to aim even higher and expect even more?