It's who you know, not what you know

[mirrormirror5]

Wanted to get peoples thoughts on this.

I was reflecting the other morning on my career path and it saddened me somewhat.

I grew up as an academically gifted working class girl from a single parent household. No dad around whatsoever. I always had the somewhat naive belief that you could be anything you wanted to, if you worked hard and put your mind to it.

Fast forward to my university years, I excelled in a subject that I was very passionate about but I've since learnt is seen as a 'posh persons subject'. Note the very well to do people on my course...
I just didn't understand social hierarchy at that age and always believed I was worthy to be in the room.

I had a PT job all through uni and saved enough so I could do a series of highly coveted (unpaid) internships in London. I've always supported myself financially.

Then it all starts to go a bit tits up.

Great feedback but overlooked for 'friends of a friends' child at every interview opportunity. Applying for advertised roles where they always already had someone in mind, usually an old school friend etc.

It got to a point where the debt from trying was too much and I took a well paid graduate job in a relatively boring industry and left my passion behind. I'm still in that industry years later and I feel a bit sore about the whole thing

I understand that connections are important in all walks of life and at some point, most people benefit from knowing someone and getting a foot in the door. I'm also not deluded to think I would be successful for every interview, but this really was getting ridiculous.

But AIBU to believe that certain opportunities are closed to WC young people, regardless of their abilities and work ethic?

My husband and I are passionate about state schooling for future children but part of me thinks about the opportunities they might get through private education and making 'the right' connections. I guess everyone makes the most of the opportunities they've got.

Also want to be clear that I am someone who would be considered very successful in terms of their career so I do believe you can be successful with a WC background with the right knowledge, work ethic, people skills etc.

It's more my frustration that I was excluded from the particular industry I wanted to get into and I didn't realise after spending my early 20s desperately trying to crack it.

The anecdotes I have are through getting to know other candidates via internships or interviews/ networking etc. and seeing them excel with relatively little experience

Without giving too much away its within a the arts/ creative industry so generally seen as more of a 'soft career'

I'm glad to hear this but sadly it often means those cvs go to the bottom of the pile sadly. My husband's workplace frequently questions whether WC candidates would have the 'right demeanour' in client meetings

Thank you! I really appreciate this answer

I am at a place where I'm considering a career change as I'm financially secure

I'm a dream world I would LOVE to give it a go again but I lack confidence that I would be able to get my foot in the door after my previous experience

I do agree about being personable and a pleasure to work with being important, but I think it unfortunately doesn't always make a difference. My relationships with people at work and my confident, approachable and friendly nature are all things that have been called out as strong points for me. It's what helped me get my internships when I was younger, but unfortunately it wasn't enough!

At an IT company i worked at the CEO had a friend and we had his daughter dumped on us, she didnt have a clue what she was doing but was given a role above her capabilities and struggled, but instead of managing her out which would have happened to anyone else she was promoted to another department.

It really leaves a nasty taste in your mouth when people have worked hard or studied to get a career but are blocked because Daddy knows the CEO.

@mirrormirror5 ah, glad it was helpful. 🙂 Could you find a mentor in your preferred industry before trying again?

Use LinkedIn, friends, family, anyone who might be able to help?

I'm struggling to understand here. You didn't get a few graduate jobs, so you changed industry and did get a job. What has prevented you from making a career in that industry? Or if you have been successful as you claim, why do you not see you are proving the opposite of your point?

Have you ever looked to move back to the first industry now you have some work experience for your application? It's only really arts, politics and charities who expect free internships outside school holidays and formal education, so this is very specific to the age and industry you were looking at. Most of us in other industries just went to work and worked our way up, much as you did.

The industry I work in now is quite competitive and isn't without its bias.

Cue some of the conversations I've had this week:

"My parents have a vacant flat in central London so I just crashed there after my presentation yesterday"

"Why don't we do a collaboration with X festival, my friends dad is the founder"

I don't begrudge anyone who takes advantage of opportunities presented to them, but the system is a bit broken isn't it?

My point is that WC people are excluded from certain industries because

• they don't have the right contacts/ connections to get in straight away
• they can't avoid to work for free until they are able to get a paying role in the industry

And like myself a lot of WC people realise this too late

Someone staying in their parents' flat really doesn't affect you in any way @mirrormirror5, you mustn't let those green eyes get in the way of working with others.

I guess you wanted fashion or art galleries, where it is common, but I'm trying to explain that it simply is not true that you "can't avoid to work for free" in most industries. You might need to take a role below what you hoped to work your way up - but would likely arrive at a certain level after a year or two if you're bright. Some industries like financial services, engineering, IT or consultancy it would be really very weird to find someone working for free outside education placements.

How old have you got to before you'd realised that !

... and I disagree that means the "system" is broken. It doesn't benefit someone working class to be in art or fashion generally if they don't have financial backers. Those industries are wildly underpaid... until suddenly being wildy overpaid, but only for an lucky few. A friend in her 40s in the film industry was still earning in the low £30ks a few years ago despite industry recognitions coming out of her ears. She muddles on complaining, and lives the life of a pauper. She can get any job, but none of them seem to pay much and they all want every hour going; she had a bit more success recently but it's literally taken decades. If she'd been put off by the poor pay in her first year then it would have been much better for her financially; her organisation, design and other talents could have led to a much more comfortable life.

In my case 23

No green eyes, but highlighting class differences

I've always started in low paying, low responsibility roles and worked my way up

I wasn't put off by poor pay? I knew I would never earn a fortune.

But I was put off by draining all my savings by working for free and barely getting by.

So work 2 days per week in a proper job, and do this industry for free 3 days per week. You'll earn about the same.

YANBU. ExH befriended someone who has extensive connections with people who "can help" and as a result he's managed to wangle opportunities for our daughter that he & I could never have got for her by ourselves. Although I am grateful to this "friend" for doing it, it does seem unfair to the other kids in her peer group who don't have these contacts.

I wanted to be an accountant.
Firstly I was never told in school that I didn't need an accountancy degree to start accountancy training after graduation. I just needed a good degree classification.
Which i did get, but I could have been enjoying myself doing philosophy or drama- not spending draining hours doing tax.
I was the first in my family to go to uni so I had noone to advise me.
.
I did make it through and get taken on by a firm who were going to train me and pay for my exams. But the pay was £6,500 in 2004. I couldn't live on that. So I had to turn the job down and rethink.

I ended up doing management accounting as you could work in any companies accounts office, earning a normal wage, my first wage was £20,000 but you had to go to tech at night and pay for your own exams. And you were never qualified to audit or give tax advise, but to prepare a companies internal accounts.

It was a leap, but it was a job. I became friends with a lot of people mu year doing the "real" accountancy course. They were all being backed by the bank of mum and dad. I had been unbelievably lucky to get a job offer as most of them were offered by contacts of their parents.

Of course now they all earn more than I ever will, or at least have the potential to. But I did the best with what I had.

A BIG part of WC kids and uni is going into it blind with no help and ending up studying the wrong course. If the careers advice at school is crap there's no back up from home.
My housemates at uni were all the firsts, all WC and we can see now in our 40s clearly where the disadvantages came

Wild stab in the dark here, but did you do history of art?

Even if I'm wrong on this detail, you're definitely correct about how recruitment works in the UK in some career areas, and in the US too in the same areas.

STEM is the key to career success for people who are outsiders in any given society.

Id add to this thread that its often not just connections but also soft skills.

Often the stereotype "bright working class kid" might be very successful in terms of academic skills but they may underestimate the importance of softer skills that private schools work hard to instill and which can be useful in these jobs. Communication, social skills, the art of influencing people, an easy sales patter, polished manners, exposure to a broad range of "cultural capital" including music/the arts.

It's obviously really easy to get a pair of employers to facilitate your career advancement like this.

A large chunk of what you're calling soft skills are actually class markers in the UK

Is there any reason why you can’t just say what industry it is?

My guess would be advertising or publishing.

What is the field?

It is history of art - great guess!

I now work in house at an ad agency

There are no easy rides in real life and those people are shielded from some blows but not others that a wc person wouldn't experience or would see coming and know how to deflect. There's an unhealthy focus on background rather than the focus being on where you are going ( I get that we are raising the issue of inequality) but the focus tends to be on what w/ c people lack rather than what they have, a focus instead of measuring them up to a standard seen as m/ c or rich without really understanding the internal politics and dynamics of that identity.