Need a hand hold part 4

[Imbluedalale]

Hi spoonies .
Welcome to season 4 xxx

Morning Laura, I’m sorry you’re feeling blue. Surgery is such a hard thing to go through, you’re doing really well. I love your poster!

I was reading about that film too this morning, it sounds great. Sending a big hug and lots of love. xx

Gonna watch that film now.

Laura, please can I do a teeny tiny nag and wonder if you could at least ring the surgery and make an appointment for later in the week?

I know you’re fed up of appointments. I can completely see why you are, but if the appointments made you can at least put it to the back of your mind xxxxx

Just got back from a quick drink with a friend. Hope you’re ok, Laura.

Did you see the film? I thought it was excellent.

Hi ya Laura, hope you have been able to have a restful day and enjoyed the film. I’m with @Apolloneuro , it would be good to get a doctors appointment booked so you can put it to the the back of your mind.
Sending a big cuddle 🤗🤗

I'm another saying contact the docs tomorrow.

It will just be hanging over you otherwise xxx
Only nagging cause we care!
sleep well lovely

Hope you had a lovely drink? What film did you see? There seem so many Christmas ones on Netflix!

Hope you're OK Laura and the leg isn't too sore. Thinking of you and hoping you have a peaceful night. xx

Hi Laura, how are you? I think we are all a little bit concerned as you haven’t posted much today! Hopefully it’s because you have been able to have a much needed rest.
Hope you have heard from your children today, and your daughter is with you.
Another cuddle 🤗 from me. Hope you have a much better night than last night. 😘🌺

Here's another hug for you Laura. It always gives you a bit of an empty feeling when you don't get a message from your kids when they know that you are going for an operation. Teens can be quite self absorbed or just a little thoughtless. They think they will be told if something bad happened but forget that there's only you to tell them and maybe not able to. It doesn't mean that they don't care though.
We are all glad to hear it went smoothly and you are recovering. I think that they choose to use removable stitches so that they get a better cosmetic outcome, but I might be wrong.
Lots of visits to hospital and doctors can wear you out but please don't put off going to the doctors for your throat. It might not be something serious but if they are saying urgently, it might need treating so it doesn't make you more unwell. @Apolloneuro Had a good idea, maybe make the appointment for a later date and then you'll not have to wait extra time, when you feel more able to do it.

Hi @RaspberryBeretxx , I know you’ll be asleep but I just wanted to reply to you. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to reply yesterday was just a wipe out for me I couldn’t keep my eyes open for longer than 20 mins. Just felt groggy al day.
I hope you’re ok @RaspberryBeretxx . I was watching ‘that Christmas’ and it was really good but I fell asleep about a quarter of the way through so I’ll watch the rest later today.
It’s really hard at the moment with my children , my daughter was meant to be staying tonight but she didn’t as she was upset with me because she wanted to go to cinemas but I felt to unwell to go out and she was upset so now I feel really shitty about that. I hope you enjoyed your coffee meeting. Thank you very much for the hugs and sending some hugs back xx

Hi @Meanwhile33 , I hope you had a good day yesterday. Sorry for the extremely late reply I had abit of a rough day yesterday but I feel ok at the moment I’ve just had a cup of tea as have hardly drank or eaten yesterday. I’m going to watch the rest of the film today.
Really miss my children, I miss them everyday but some days it hurts more than others. I’m seeing my mental health worker today so will be good to speak out loud how I’m feeling and get it off my chest. I upset my daughter yesterday by not going to the cinemas so have super mum guilt today.
Thank you so so much for the hug and love it really means a lot xxx

Hi @Apolloneuro , I’m so glad you enjoyed the film, it’s brilliant isn’t it , I haven't watched all of it yet but so far so good.
Sorry for the late reply , I hope you had a lovely day yesterday. I’ve been craving a scone since you baked yours. In fact that’s exactly what I was thinking of whilst I was at hospital, your scones 😂.
And yes your so right about ringing the doctors I will ring them first thing this morning and make an appointment. I think what I’m worried about the most is them saying they’ll have to do an mri scan and I absolutely despise those and the thought sends me into a panic because I’m very claustrophobic and the last one I had was for 90 mins with my head strapped down.
But yes I will make an appointment this morning also need to discuss with them my lady time of month as last few times I’ve been really heavy and having to change every hour. Sod’s Law I started yesterday when I felt crap already 😂.
I hope your having a nice rest and I will speak to you in morning xx

Hi @AdmittowearingCrocs , Sorry I didn’t respond sooner I couldn’t keep my eyes open yesterday. So it was a restful day 😂.
I hope you had a nice day and happy Wednesday 🙃.
How’s your week going? Good I hope.
I will definitely book an appointment this morning when the surgery opens , thank you so so much for the cuddle. Sending you a big one back xx

Hi @Munchyseeds2 , I promise to make an appointment when the surgery opens. Yesterday I was just feeling fed up with it all and feeling sorry for myself but I know I need to book appointment and get it over and done with.
I hope you are ok and having a good week so far. Big hugs lovely xx

Hi @Nottogetapenny , I hope you’re ok and I know you’ll be asleep but just wanted to reply and say hello. I’ve been asleep since tea time but I’m ok thank you .
Sorry for being ignorant yesterday I didn’t mean to be.
I have hardly heard from my children . My youngest being really cold with me which is so upsetting. I texted that asking how he was and he asked me how I was and I said I was really pretty rough and he said ‘why’ so I said it’s because of my op and he said he’d forgot about that. I know he’s only 13 but it hurts , I think I’m just being too sensitive. My daughter also very upset with me as she wanted to go cinemas but I couldn’t even stand up yesterday and she said she’s very upset so now I feel like crap. My eldest hasn’t been in touch much either. I just feel like I must be a really shitty mum and I must have been a really shitty mum because it’s like I don’t matter and me being poorly means nothing. I know there only kids and I don’t want them worrying about me but just now and again I’d like to be shown a little care.
My daughter was meant to be staying 2 nights but she cancelled first night as she wanted to see ex and then last night because of cinemas. She said she can only stay one night next week too as she’s going to a party on Monday . It’s just hard you know and frustrating at times.
I got upset on the phone to my sister yesterday and she must have rang my mum because my mum called me straight after and it was so hard not to sound upset on the phone but she knew I was as I could hardly speak so now I’m worried I’m going to make my mum poorly again.My brother doesn’t talk to me because I made my mum poorly or my other sister so they won’t be happy if I make my mum poorly. I honestly can’t wait to get this year over with.
Thank you so much for the cuddle and I hope you have a nice day @Nottogetapenny . Big hugs xx

Hi @BeNavyCrab , how are you today? I hope you’re feeling ok?
Have you been doing any crafts yesterday? I’d love to be able to make cards like you.
Thank you very much for the hug . You know I was thinking , they should make a hug shop where you just go and pay for a hug. They have one in Portland and you can have a cuddle for 60$ and they get up to 10000 requests via email each week so lots of people must need a hug.
I do feel rubbish about the lack of care from my children but then I think it’s me that’s the problem , they are only kids after all and I know they have their own stuff going on.
My daughter wanted her friend to stay and to go to cinemas she said her friend really needed it as she was going through a hard time and I did feel bad but I did think ‘so am I’ . It just feels like I’m at the bottom of their list of priorities.
I was unsure why they used proper stitches so thank you for explaining. I can’t have a bath or shower for 4 days which I’m dreading as I hate not feeling clean.
I got a text then a voicemail from my doctor so I’m definitely going to book an appointment this morning , just yesterday I was like ‘not today leave me alone’.
I hope your managing to rest @BeNavyCrab and I can’t wait to see more of your card making xx

@Imbluedalale I'm not surprised that you have been feeling wiped out. The anaesthetic itself can leave you feeling like that but so can coping with pain. It was just bad timing for your daughter to think that you would feel well enough to go out to the cinema and although you are feeling like you let her down, it's still the right decision. You don't want to put stress on the stitches or expose yourself to more germs. It would have been traumatic for both of you if the bleeding became a problem when you were out too. It's ok to not be a super woman and power on for others. Reassure her that you are as sad as she is about not being able to go but be honest with her about the pain and illness you are feeling, so she can understand.

Maybe plan something nice for both of you at home in a few days when you feel better. Like sharing a tasty treat together and/or watching a film together.

Hopefully you will feel a lot better in the morning. Be gentle with yourself and patient. Recovery is rarely a straight path and it's hard to be patient when you have a million things you want to get on with. I understand that frustration but have learned that sometimes you have to rest to do more.

Thank you 🙏 @BeNavyCrab . I needed it hear that today . I did tell my daughter several times I was feeling too unwell but she kept asking and asking then saying she’s really upset and her friend will be upset so I do feel really rubbish about that . I told my daughter that I’m not feeling well from the op and I’m feeling woozy but she just got really arsy with me and said I’d made her really upset. So I feel upset that I’ve made her upset. I kept trying to tell myself yesterday ‘just get up and go’ but I could hardly stand up and felt dizzy .
I did suggest doing something else in a few days but she said she’ll be too busy then so I’ve definitely lost mum points with her.
How are you feeling @BeNavyCrab ?xx

I am still recovering from overdoing it and didn't wake up until midday again. I did a bit of die cutting in the afternoon but there's nothing much to see, except a bunch of bits of white paper in different shapes. Even though it's an electric die cutting machine, so not physically hard. I do get tired after doing a number of things through it. I listened to my body and stopped once I'd done a reasonable amount and my back was hurting, rather than ignoring it and crippling myself. I also don't want to stress my daughter out, as she's revising for her next exam. It upsets her when she finds out I've been a bit of an idiot and pushed myself too hard. 😬

I remember the yucky feeling I had when I had my chest drain in and not able to shower. I also have to rely on bed bath wipes when I am too unwell to get out of bed. There's some nice soft ones or you can use a non rinse wash cream that both cleans and moisturises, while leaving behind a light fragrance. If you are worried about infection, there are also some that leave an antibacterial on your skin. They use things like that in the hospital in critical care because they understand the importance of feeling human, despite being unwell.

Here's a picture of a card I made in the past for you to enjoy, as I haven't got one done yet.

Awww that card is absolutely beautiful @BeNavyCrab , you’re so talented. I’m in awe that you are going though so much yet you still think of others and make your family and friends lovely cards . Thank you for showing me that it’s lovely ❤️
I’m glad to hear that you listened to your body and stopped when you knew it was time. Us women are stubborn with things like that aren’t we , we keep trying to push on.
Your daughter sounds like she did really well in her last exam, I’m sure she’ll smash through the next one too.
I have some wet wipes that I can use and I’ll have a sink wash today but I just like to feel properly clean if that makes sense. The non rinse wash cream sounds lovely though , where do you get that from? Xx

Oh dear that's hard for you and I would be upset about it too. It's lovely that she's being a good friend and helping her mate feel better but obviously wasn't taking onboard that you were ill too. Teenagers can be a bit antsy and difficult from time to time can't they. She might have been feeling a bit awkward if she had told her mate you definitely were coming and then had to say you weren't. It might be why she was trying to talk you into going.
My daughter has days where she is grumpy and you can't seem to say the right thing. It's always us Mums who are left feeling a bit shit and wondering if we could have done something different It can be quite hurtful, especially when she thinks I'm saying something I'm not. Then the next day it's all smiles and on the odd occasion, an apology for being grotty.

I get mine in a large order but it's also available from Amazon. They do it in a large pump bottle which is cheaper per quantity but it's also in a smaller squeezey tube. It's designed for intimate care so it's safe for all of your skin.

www.amazon.co.uk/Tena-Wash-Cream-Pump-Dispenser/dp/B00GMKB61E/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?crid=2W68LTFHLT9O2&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.E8NQX3j0P0k6q074x3gRbLbKrg_x2STm0CCVVZIFD4PFxm9saYfcB9nj5BPvbdwJ2mBzBur396nbNvohU1vy9G4jAh9Kp1C6dhE9dd9q8cp0NWL0ZyfM_ySLUnN_3yg7qDOuX7LSfPIbepPpWk1Xi9Ab6zhP0nFGT_UyX3sBcgqgtAOBQcLO75bAleWT8GxN3fH5Frf9kErHZwWnxh-2Lw.edbQaBPPuGkmEuPX-C_k28kf86BWaF60RrsD8dj_KSQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=tena+wash+cream&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1733886426&sprefix=tena+was%2Caps%2C120&sr=8-2

Ohhh that’s brilliant thank you , I’ve just had a look and not they do no wash shampoo and conditioner too! Xx

My daughter is a really good friend and is very caring towards her friends and she probably didn’t want to let her friend down so now I feel like I’ve let my daughter down . I will suggest again if she and her friend want to do something next week. My daughter just won’t accept my answer the first time she’ll ask me another 100 times so then she gets mad and I get stressed.
In feeling guilty for not going but I was too poorly to go so I’m in a no win situation. Now ever since I’ve woke up I feel bad that I’ve let her down.
Teenagers are hard aren’t they xx

Yes it's hard to get the balance right with them. They definitely are good at the nag, ask, nag, question, ask, nag until they get the answer they want! 😂😂
The important thing to remember is that she wants to spend time with you. It wasn't possible now but that wish of wanting to be close with you won't disappear just because of feeling a bit disappointed and upset.

If you are looking at the Tena wash and shampoo, it is a good product but does require rinsing off, unlike the wash cream. That might not be so much of a problem for you as you are able to use a sink etc. It's been made not to irritate fragile skin and be gentle on hair. I know friends have used it during chemo when they are having problems with hair loss as it's a bit less aggressive than standard shampoo.

Oh I’m so relieved I’m not the only mum who has a nagger 😂. My daughter would make a very good defence lawyer that’s for sure .
I hope we can have a talk today and she can be not upset with me again.
It was the medcosa no rinse shampoo and conditioning cap I saw xx