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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need a hand hold part 4

682 replies

Imbluedalale · 05/12/2024 17:02

Hi spoonies .
Welcome to season 4 xxx

OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
Imbluedalale · 19/12/2024 00:38

CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 00:20

Am always a bit reserved about boot sales, when I lived in a terrace with the tiny front gardens, a few of us decided to put planters outside our houses to make the street look nice. Within a week, on the Sunday morning they all got pinched. Police said that they would have been sold at the local boot sale! Did get my son a big box of ghost busters toys there for Christmas one year for pennies though.

2 years ago lots of stuff got stolen from the allotment, including a greenhouse full of seedlings in trays. He happened to go to a boot sale, and they were all there and the thief had even left the markers in, in his handwriting lol. One of the disadvantages of living in a deprived area of the country. Your local ones seem fab.

I never go to them myself . My mum and dad have a butchers . Well my mums retired now but my dad’s not . Although she’s working there all next week and tomorrow my dad’s delivering 700 turkeys to Scotland. But my mum and dad do 2/3 car boots a week. They do hull car boot , grantham
and Bridlington. And they don’t every week and use the money they get for a holiday fund. They are going away on 2nd Jan to Tenerife for a month.
Anyway it’s my mum that gets me all the home stuff which I’m very thankful for.
I can’t believe people pinch things from peoples homes, how awful.
My mum was telling me where she lives people steal wheelie bins from peoples homes so they can burgle another home. How bad is that?xx

OP posts:
Imbluedalale · 19/12/2024 00:40

CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 00:31

You are Doncaster way? So the other side of the bridge!

Yes I’m Doncaster . Omg we live so close to each other! xx

OP posts:
CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 00:43

We do! How bonkers is that!

Imbluedalale · 19/12/2024 01:01

CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 00:43

We do! How bonkers is that!

Well if you ever fancy meeting for a coffee let me know. It’s only a short train journey away xx

OP posts:
BeNavyCrab · 19/12/2024 01:30

Just wanted to update everyone. I had my scan today and unfortunately I couldn't convince the technician to say anything about it, so I guess I have to be patient for the team to get back to me about it. We did manage to get a pasty and a lovely bit of tiffin for lunch as I wasn't allowed food before the scan. Then we headed off to see one my husband's sister on the way to my parents. Our daughter was also travelling down by train for the first time.

Anyone who has a child who is ND can understand how stressful it is for them to do things they've never done before. She can't cope with anything that requires connections or where she could get lost as she becomes overwhelmed and can't speak or even approach anyone for help. I found out that there's a direct train to the station near my parents, so she agreed to try it. I'd organised all the tickets, timings and booked her Passenger Assistance but it was still very hard for her. Especially when she had to move coaches at one point because they were detaching carriages. It upset her that they changed the sign on her carriage from D to J and didn't know why.They then announced it on the train that some carriages were going out of service, but said that you get off the train "at the platform" which she assumed would be the next one, but they meant after two other ones. So she became very confused and worried. Luckily there was a nice man who was travelling to Taunton who explained it was likely to be at Bristol temple meads. The conductor did come and make sure she knew she had to go to the new carriage. She also learnt how to use the train toilet after attempting to get in it but hadn't seen the buttons. Another kind person showed her and she was happy with those as "they are like boat ones" mixed with "star trek vibes as the door swishes open when you push the button".

There were many texts backwards and forwards but she managed the 8 hour journey and said she feels confident enough to do it in reverse when she goes back to uni after Christmas. So it was a win in my book and it was wonderful to retrieve her from the station and be in a somewhat sane state.😂😂

I'd also like to join the WhatsApp Spoonies and can understand what @Apolloneuro is talking about. There's been some very awful things said to people on other posts. Even if you don't agree with someone, there's ways to say it that are kind, compassionate, supportive and respectful. There does seem a subset of people who have lost their gentle side, it seems. Also it will allow us to share things with each other and not the rest of the internet.

@Imbluedalale Lots of updates I've just caught up on but it was such an awful thing to do, after he requested the abortion to say such terrible things. The Spoonies are right, it's all coercive control and meant to break you down. There was never ever a possibility of being enough, and it's not your fault.

Sorry that your son is having to deal with having cheated on his girlfriend. It's a difficult situation being in the middle of trying to care about them both. There's probably some element of influence in attitude due to your ex, but he's learning about the real life consequences and at least he cares about having stuffed things up. It's going to make him a better person and partner in the end, even though it's very painful now.

nornironlady · 19/12/2024 06:28

Good morning Spoonies. My, my weren't you lot busy last night! I'm guessing this could be the last post on this thread and my last ever post on MN as I was a fully paid up lurker.
The appointment was good but right before my son asked about home schooling which wasn't an option for him previously. I will give that a go in Jan and there's other meetings as support we've asked for hasn't appeared nor been mentioned. Get everyone round the same table and take it from there. It's too late to consider a change of school so if we could manage getting through 1.5yrs till high school I'm willing to try.
My son had a huge meltdown last night and threw my decorations everywhere, punching his own face so this is the result of talking about school in the home.
I can forget about it now and just enjoy the break.

nornironlady · 19/12/2024 06:30

@Apolloneuro totally agree. @Imbluedalale is a very beautiful woman with equally gorgeous kids. Proper stunners 😍

spoonfulofmustard · 19/12/2024 08:59

Hi All Spoons! sorry I've been so absent, crazy work and sickness. I'm happy to join the WhatsApp but i warn you like Teal I'm not great at staying in touch. Will PM Laura my number xx

Munchyseeds2 · 19/12/2024 10:02

Morning everyone
I'm not working now til xmas eve I'm still in bed even tho I've got loads to do!😂
I will get up in a minute...

@Imbluedalale hello lovely

The pictures of your lounge...it looks fab and so cozy! I like the slim christmas trees
So lovely you had a nice day yesterday, 😂 the 'insemination device', I know they sell everything !!

I feel sorry for your Son, its a hard lesson but hopefully he will learn....and not become like his dad....who is truly an excuse of a man.

Those flashbacks sound horrible...but ultimately show you are starting to heal and process, something to work on ( with help) in the New Year

What are you up to today....I have loads of housework and washing to do xxx

@BeNavyCrab sounds like your daughter did really well with that journey and its lovely that kind people helped her out a little.
There are some kind people in this world but sometimes it's easy to forget that isn't it
I hope you don't have to wait too long for your scan results.

Have a lovely day Spoonies, wherever you are and whatever you are doing xxx

Giraffe888 · 19/12/2024 10:03

Imbluedalale · 18/12/2024 21:47

Hi @MsJinks , how’s your day been?
It’s pouring it down here is it there?
Oh god teen years are hard aren’t they. I was saying to my mum today that I miss them being little and thinking I was the best thing since sliced bread.
Oh I used to love brookside.
I can’t believe you’re in Sheffield that’s so close to me! I would love to have a coffee date with you if you’re ever free. Don’t worry if not I’m not a stalker or anything xx

I reckon me, you and @MsJinks should aim for a coffee date in the new year xxx

Giraffe888 · 19/12/2024 10:08

Imbluedalale · 18/12/2024 22:53

Good evening @Giraffe888 , how are you? Good I hope. Are you all ready for Christmas?
I don’t think my son’s girlfriend is going to forgive him tbh . She’s a very lovely head strong girl and if she was my daughter I’d be very proud of her but it’s hard because my son is so upset and down and he’s beating himself up for doing it . But he’s done it so he only has himself to blame.
Well it was nice to have my daughter here but she wasn’t the best company yesterday as she said I talk too much 😂
How was your coffee with your friend?I had a s’mores hot chocolate from M&S and some posh sandwiches which were lovely. They had no banana bread left with I was gutted about.
Sorry to hear your DD isn’t well still , it’s crazy how many people are poorly right now.
Sending you a big hug lovely xx.

I’m good thank you, I finish work tomorrow for Christmas and I can’t wait! Not back until 2nd Jan so it will be a nice break with the kids

my DD had Covid at 2 weeks old and I swear it’s killed her immune system so she gets poorly quite frequently. She had sickness bug 10 days ago and it’s been relentless since then! My DS is never ill in comparison to her!

I totally understand why she won’t forgive him too but it must be really upsetting for your DS to process. He’s still young though so he will learn how to conduct himself in relationships going forward hopefully!

your M&S trip sounds perfect! My DH wants to go at the weekend as he’s fancying partridge for Christmas Day! Xxx

Giraffe888 · 19/12/2024 10:10

Imbluedalale · 18/12/2024 23:03

You live in Sheffield @Giraffe888 ?xx

Yes I do, we’ve discussed this previously but you’ve probably forgotten it amidst all your excitement of moving etc 😂 xxx

Giraffe888 · 19/12/2024 10:15

@BeNavyCrab well done to your DD, sounds like she did amazing and I’m glad it went well ❤️

@nornironlady your poor DS bless him. Definitely forget about it now and focus on Christmas xx

VexedofVirginiaWater · 19/12/2024 10:25

Apolloneuro · 18/12/2024 23:43

Um excuse me missy. I have evidence of the fact that you look like a 22 year old Miss World, so we’ll have none of that nonsense @Imbluedalale

This has made me think @Imbluedalale - maybe a lot of this coercion and gaslighting is your H is negging you? Is he fairly attractive himself (to those people who don't know about his ugly soul that is)?

CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 12:03

Imbluedalale · 19/12/2024 01:01

Well if you ever fancy meeting for a coffee let me know. It’s only a short train journey away xx

That would be fab! Just braved the crowds at aldi and stocked the fridge with goodies for myself! Spent small fortune lol

Malbecfan · 19/12/2024 12:56

@BeNavyCrab are you somewhere in the vicinity of the M5 at the end with the higher junction numbers?

@Apolloneuro and I are going to meet in the New Year which I'm really excited about as I've never met a MNer before that I didn't already know. There is someone who frequents an Education board whose DC I have taught and I worked out who she was - one of her DSs and my older DD are really good friends.

@Imbluedalale I'm glad to see you are still being positive and that the M&S trip was good. I would be happy to join a WA group but when I'm at work, I don't really have the time to do more than read it.

I went to get my dad's paper then the (slightly bonkers) lady who has been delivering it on days I work came into the shop. We had a chat and it turns out she will be alone on Christmas Day so I have invited her to join us for lunch. She and dad get on like a house on fire. It's funny for the rest of us because they both have rubbish memories, so tell each other the same crap stories over and over. My dad is in the cottage attached to my house so we're going to eat there. He and the lady can then please themselves after lunch whilst DH, DD1 and I go back next door to ours. I got loads of Brownie points because I invited her in the shop overheard by several of the volunteers who run it. So that's given me so much of a boost that I have actually given my kitchen a really good clean in preparation for DD1 arriving on Sunday. Sadly DD2 has to work over Christmas but we'll go and see her in 10 days or so. Ok, the kitchen floor is beckoning. Wish me luck!

Giraffe888 · 19/12/2024 13:11

@Malbecfan thats so lovely of you to invite the lady for Christmas dinner ❤️

Apolloneuro · 19/12/2024 13:25

oh @Malbecfan you’re a goodun and I’m looking forward to meeting you.

Regarding the WhatsApp group, in my mind it isn’t somewhere where everyone posts several times a day or whatever. In fact phones can get a bit metaphorically overheated when notifications are buzzing in 70 times a day or whatever 😀

I see it more as a way of being able to share our names and more personal stuff we wouldn’t on here and dip in and out of as and when. Also so that people (like me) who really feel it’s time to deactivate their mumsnet account don’t lose touch with the nicest bunch of people they’ve ever met online.

I only joined mumsnet when the teachers forum run by TES suddenly closed. Were you on that @Malbecfan? I thought it was horrible, but then sort of got sucked in. I need to spend my time more reading or baking or other healthier pursuits.

Malbecfan · 19/12/2024 13:39

Oh goodness me yes I was on there @Apolloneuro but mostly on the Music board. I only joined here around 8 - 10 years ago which was some time after TES disappeared. I do read the Staffroom on here but not every day.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 19/12/2024 13:41

Noticed that @Imbluedalale likes Brookside.
I don’t like to reveal my celebrity status but I used to do extra work at Brookside.
Got booked to do a Monday, chose my outfit. Went in and sat in the canteen, and the Hollyoaks set was on the same site. You’d walk out of a shop and into the Hollyoaks college. And all the actors mixed together which was confusing.
My mammoth acting task involved walking down the Parade of shops and getting into a telephone kiosk.
But the light kept changing and Sinbad kept blowing raspberries. They kept sending me back to the canteen.
It took…. 5 days! And I had to keep going out in the same dress every day.
Some of the extras were just like the Ricky Gervais ones.
Oh when I was filming with Barbara Streisand….
Oh yes, Richard Gere was marvellous on set!
I did it for a few years when it fitted around my proper job, I made lots of good friends.
My least favourite was playing a policewoman on Hollyoaks as they made wear a rubber diving suit under a size 16 coppers uniform, as we had to get in the river to fish out a pretend dead body.
It took ages to set up and just about the time when we could fish the body out a load of Scouse lads went past on a rowing boat on the river in Chester shouting…
Hollyoaks is shite!
It was 80 degrees, they had to keep giving us bottles of water to funnel into our wetsuits.
What can I say? I never let the fame get to me. And I got an extra £30 for playing a policewoman.
I can only add that I admired Barry Grant from afar, but everyone else was really, really lovely.

CookiePookie · 19/12/2024 13:41

nornironlady · 19/12/2024 06:28

Good morning Spoonies. My, my weren't you lot busy last night! I'm guessing this could be the last post on this thread and my last ever post on MN as I was a fully paid up lurker.
The appointment was good but right before my son asked about home schooling which wasn't an option for him previously. I will give that a go in Jan and there's other meetings as support we've asked for hasn't appeared nor been mentioned. Get everyone round the same table and take it from there. It's too late to consider a change of school so if we could manage getting through 1.5yrs till high school I'm willing to try.
My son had a huge meltdown last night and threw my decorations everywhere, punching his own face so this is the result of talking about school in the home.
I can forget about it now and just enjoy the break.

@nornironlady Hi! I saw you are thinking of home educating your DC? I do this with my DC so any time you would like a quiet chat please do. Just a little advice which you absolutely didn't ask for; perhaps in Jan ask him how he feels learning should look or what he wants to do/achieve... calling it 'home school' brings on all the negativity around actual school for my DC! Home is our safe space. Wishing you a very relaxing Christmas time!

@Imbluedalale Would love to join the WhatsApp group if I am allowed to lurk there too :) You're all inspirational.

nornironlady · 19/12/2024 13:51

@CookiePookie thank you so much for your kind offer and that is an excellent suggestion. I was planning on the school sending work home and if he manages 10mins a day then I would be happy as there's nothing happening right now. However I really like what you've said and involving my son in choosing things he's interested in would probably be a much better approach. Home is very much our safe place hence the meltdown last night after all the school chat. I will reach out after the holidays if that's alright with you.

MsJinks · 19/12/2024 13:58

Giraffe888 · 19/12/2024 10:03

I reckon me, you and @MsJinks should aim for a coffee date in the new year xxx

Coffee - Absolutely 💯- be great 😊
Laura - I loved Brookside, c4 started on my b/day and I watched it from the start - however, made error of telling my first husband I liked Barry Grant once and after marriage didn’t get to watch it - in fact it ended up as no Tv at all - one memory is of watching a very boring type programme and a very old guy of 82 was swimming in a Roman Bath - apparently 22 year old me was sitting ogling this guy 🙈 - see it all sounds dreadfully ridiculous what we put up with and sort of accept and it’s only with hindsight we realise how it was and also wonder how we got there - boiled frog syndrome I guess. I mean I did like Barry grant and some would find that disrespectful (though I’d mentioned it randomly whilst dating) but then it gets extended to everything and sold somehow as ‘reasonable’, when I definitely wasn’t leering at old guy swimming! Anyway, I’ve recently found Brookside from the beginning on STV and loving it with the nostalgia and the actual programme - so different to how soaps are today too. Excuse for binge watching is trauma recovery 🤣 but really recommend it anyway.
@Giraffe888 - btw love your name as it’s a bit of a nickname for my granddaughter 😃

Giraffe888 · 19/12/2024 14:33

@PeggyMitchellsCameo I love your last post! I’m so intrigued about ‘behind the scenes’ with tv programmes/films etc, I always find it really interesting to hear things!

@MsJinks my username was purely as I needed to think of something quick! I like giraffes and the number 8 so hey presto! I’m intrigued why it’s a nickname for your granddaughter? Is she really tall! X

BeNavyCrab · 19/12/2024 16:30

Malbecfan · 19/12/2024 12:56

@BeNavyCrab are you somewhere in the vicinity of the M5 at the end with the higher junction numbers?

@Apolloneuro and I are going to meet in the New Year which I'm really excited about as I've never met a MNer before that I didn't already know. There is someone who frequents an Education board whose DC I have taught and I worked out who she was - one of her DSs and my older DD are really good friends.

@Imbluedalale I'm glad to see you are still being positive and that the M&S trip was good. I would be happy to join a WA group but when I'm at work, I don't really have the time to do more than read it.

I went to get my dad's paper then the (slightly bonkers) lady who has been delivering it on days I work came into the shop. We had a chat and it turns out she will be alone on Christmas Day so I have invited her to join us for lunch. She and dad get on like a house on fire. It's funny for the rest of us because they both have rubbish memories, so tell each other the same crap stories over and over. My dad is in the cottage attached to my house so we're going to eat there. He and the lady can then please themselves after lunch whilst DH, DD1 and I go back next door to ours. I got loads of Brownie points because I invited her in the shop overheard by several of the volunteers who run it. So that's given me so much of a boost that I have actually given my kitchen a really good clean in preparation for DD1 arriving on Sunday. Sadly DD2 has to work over Christmas but we'll go and see her in 10 days or so. Ok, the kitchen floor is beckoning. Wish me luck!

We live in Cornwall but my parents live near Newton Abbot.

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