Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need a hand hold part 4

682 replies

Imbluedalale · 05/12/2024 17:02

Hi spoonies .
Welcome to season 4 xxx

OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 13:18

Apolloneuro · 17/12/2024 12:51

Putting your bra back on to go out is a woman’s curse isn’t it 🤣

In a rush again, but thanks for the shout outs. I’m just feeling a bit maudlin about some of the choices I’ve made in life. My husband is autistic and whilst a good man, I don’t get a lot of emotional support from him. Life gets a bit lonely sometimes. Still we’ve got to keep our chins up, boobs out and enjoy life, don’t we. Count our blessings for what we do have.

Isn’t it just @Apolloneuro . Thing is I’m so used to not wearing one now I feel like I’ve got a restraint strapped to my chest whenever I put one on.
Sorry to hear your feeling down , all us spoonies are here for you . I completely understand the feeling of feeling lonely at times.
I think we should design a convent . We could have a cuddle cafe in there. A cake room, sleep room, massage room. A darts room to lob darts at faces . An anger room where you just take a bat and have a good smash up now and again. A Sunday roast room , shay &blue shop , coffee house, cocktail bar. Spoon shop. And we could even have a little farm with elephants in that wear pink converse! Xx

OP posts:
BeNavyCrab · 17/12/2024 13:26

Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 12:39

Got them 😂😂😂xx

I bet they forgot which house you came from so left them near where they were working, hoping you could return for them. It's a really nice thing to give them a treat and keep them warm. I know it's going to get warmer, the closer they got to hell but it's a long old dig to get there. Plus you have to cross the river Styx and traverse purgatory before you get there. 😜
I bet your friend was really happy to get his own spoon of strength. Sometimes the symbolism is the most important thing and it makes it really special.

My mum had a special teaspoon that travelled with us all over the world. I don't remember how it became special in the first place but it was a very handsome spoon with a nice deep bowl shape and narrow point. The handle was beautifully decorated and everything was finished off so there was no hard edges and it balanced in your hand nicely, so I also thought it was special. One day mum was washing up and on the boat (my parents one, not ours), if you had washing up water that was a bit oily or had food particles in it, rather than risk it bunging up the pump you use to pump it away, you use a washing up bowl. Then you can throw the water directly overboard. As you are using seawater to wash up with, the fish love it because it's almost like you are feeding them as the dart around eating the little bits of food in the water.

Any way this particular day, Mum forgot to feel around in the bottom of the washing up bowl to check for anything left in it and threw the water overboard. All I heard was a morn full cry as she saw the glint of the favourite teaspoon, glistening as it followed the water. We were anchored in the lee of one of the islands that is part of Tonga, which are known for the clarity of the water. Looking downward from the dinghy we could see the teaspoon as a tiny little thing nestled between the vibrant coral. So I got on my scuba mask, flippers, snorkel and jumped overboard to try to dive for it. I was a fit young teenager at the time and used to holding my breath for cleaning the hull of the boat, so I was quite confident in my free diving ability. However what we didn't realise was, that despite being able to see the spoon clearly, it was over 50 feet underwater. I had only previously been able to dive to 40 feet before I would run out of breath and the pain in my ears would become too intense. So after multiple times of trying it looked like we wouldn't be able to retrieve the special spoon.

By now we had attracted the interest of some locals, who paddled out in their canoe to see what all the mad splashing from my flippers was about, as I was kicking as hard as I could to try to descend as rapidly as possible. The locals free dive all day every day, to spearfish or collect sea sponges, so they joined in the mission. It was still too deep for their strongest divers to get too. Then I had a brainwave. I held onto an anchor as it was being lowered to the seabed to go deeper without using much energy. I only had a nanosecond to grab the spoon and the pain in my head was incredibly painful but I was triumphant. That little spoon was with us as we sailed around the world and my mum never failed to check the washing up bowl again!

AdmittowearingCrocs · 17/12/2024 13:49

What a wonderful memory @BeNavyCrab and well done for retrieving your mum’s spoon. What a way to learn a lesson about checking the washing up water 👏👏👏

Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 13:51

BeNavyCrab · 17/12/2024 13:26

I bet they forgot which house you came from so left them near where they were working, hoping you could return for them. It's a really nice thing to give them a treat and keep them warm. I know it's going to get warmer, the closer they got to hell but it's a long old dig to get there. Plus you have to cross the river Styx and traverse purgatory before you get there. 😜
I bet your friend was really happy to get his own spoon of strength. Sometimes the symbolism is the most important thing and it makes it really special.

My mum had a special teaspoon that travelled with us all over the world. I don't remember how it became special in the first place but it was a very handsome spoon with a nice deep bowl shape and narrow point. The handle was beautifully decorated and everything was finished off so there was no hard edges and it balanced in your hand nicely, so I also thought it was special. One day mum was washing up and on the boat (my parents one, not ours), if you had washing up water that was a bit oily or had food particles in it, rather than risk it bunging up the pump you use to pump it away, you use a washing up bowl. Then you can throw the water directly overboard. As you are using seawater to wash up with, the fish love it because it's almost like you are feeding them as the dart around eating the little bits of food in the water.

Any way this particular day, Mum forgot to feel around in the bottom of the washing up bowl to check for anything left in it and threw the water overboard. All I heard was a morn full cry as she saw the glint of the favourite teaspoon, glistening as it followed the water. We were anchored in the lee of one of the islands that is part of Tonga, which are known for the clarity of the water. Looking downward from the dinghy we could see the teaspoon as a tiny little thing nestled between the vibrant coral. So I got on my scuba mask, flippers, snorkel and jumped overboard to try to dive for it. I was a fit young teenager at the time and used to holding my breath for cleaning the hull of the boat, so I was quite confident in my free diving ability. However what we didn't realise was, that despite being able to see the spoon clearly, it was over 50 feet underwater. I had only previously been able to dive to 40 feet before I would run out of breath and the pain in my ears would become too intense. So after multiple times of trying it looked like we wouldn't be able to retrieve the special spoon.

By now we had attracted the interest of some locals, who paddled out in their canoe to see what all the mad splashing from my flippers was about, as I was kicking as hard as I could to try to descend as rapidly as possible. The locals free dive all day every day, to spearfish or collect sea sponges, so they joined in the mission. It was still too deep for their strongest divers to get too. Then I had a brainwave. I held onto an anchor as it was being lowered to the seabed to go deeper without using much energy. I only had a nanosecond to grab the spoon and the pain in my head was incredibly painful but I was triumphant. That little spoon was with us as we sailed around the world and my mum never failed to check the washing up bowl again!

I absolutely loved reading that @BeNavyCrab , what a wonderful story and memory you have there . Wow!
I was reading it and could picture everything in my mind just as it happened like I was there. Thank you for sharing that xx

OP posts:
nornironlady · 17/12/2024 15:45

@BeNavyCrab that was an amazing story and extremely well told and written. You really pull me in as a reader ❤️

RaspberryBeretxx · 17/12/2024 17:33

Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 12:11

Erm they’ve gone @RaspberryBeretxx and there’s no cups or plate at my door. Where is my crockery?xx

Not the lovely pink mugs??! Glad you found them though!! And sorry about those foam things spilling everywhere. They're a nightmare! I remember saving box full for DD to play in when she was smaller and it was awful, massive regret 😂. Oh yes, let's make a commune. Lots of spoons and support and cake 😍.

@BeNavyCrab what a beautiful story about your special spoon. I'm so glad you got it back! Does your Mum still have it? I could really imagine you desperately trying to swim down to it. That's so lovely that some of the locals joined in on the hunt.

Hope you're OK @Apolloneuro . Yes to chin up, boobs out and counting blessings but it's OK to be sad too. Can we give you some emotional support 💖? I know it's not exactly the same as your DH being able to but I do believe in getting different things from different people where you can if that makes sense. Sending a big hug and some imaginary cake 🍰.

RaspberryBeretxx · 17/12/2024 17:34

Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 11:44

Perving I meant not perking . Blimmin typos!xx

Haha, I wondered initially if you meant twerking but then got it 😂

Apolloneuro · 17/12/2024 18:13

I’m considering leaving mumsnet. I don’t seem to have the will power to only look on this thread and then get all upset by how nasty some people are.

I’m going to try to be disciplined as I’d hate to lose touch with you guys although we did moot a WhatsApp group…?

RaspberryBeretxx · 17/12/2024 18:16

Apolloneuro · 17/12/2024 18:13

I’m considering leaving mumsnet. I don’t seem to have the will power to only look on this thread and then get all upset by how nasty some people are.

I’m going to try to be disciplined as I’d hate to lose touch with you guys although we did moot a WhatsApp group…?

Oh, I'm so sorry @Apolloneuro . That's hard, I do think AIBU can be particularly tough and nasty although that does also spread to other parts of MN. So sorry you've been upset by it.

I'd be happy to move to a WhatsApp group if everyone else is 💕

Apolloneuro · 17/12/2024 18:18

Thanks @RaspberryBeretxx I really need to cut down my screen time.

Let’s see what our queen of spoons @Imbluedalale thinks xx

RaspberryBeretxx · 17/12/2024 18:24

Apolloneuro · 17/12/2024 18:18

Thanks @RaspberryBeretxx I really need to cut down my screen time.

Let’s see what our queen of spoons @Imbluedalale thinks xx

Sounds good. I could definitely do with a MN break (not a break from spoonies though!) too tbh and focus a bit more on work and DD.

Munchyseeds2 · 17/12/2024 18:30

Hi all!

DD friend is in her mid twenties, they met in year 7. I got her some of the adult colouring books, pencils and the sanctuary sleep gift set
I would have got her some nice bits to eat but she has an ongoing health issue as well so has to be careful what she eats
Hopefully the New Year will be better for her

@Apolloneuro happy to be part of a WhatsApp group....threads tend to die and it would be nice to keep in touch

@Imbluedalale bet you wished you had never started to make the hot choc, I'm sure they loved it tho

@BeNavyCrab your childhood sounds like it was an adventure...did you really go round the world?
Tell us more if you want to!!

Off out again now (work)
Catch up tomorrow

Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 19:03

Hi all , I have read your messages I’ve just had afternoon with my daughter .
Sorry to hear your thinking of leaving MN @Apolloneuro , I do understand how you feel I read some other threads and the replies are awful. I’m way too sensitive to get replies like that.
Im happy to do a wattsapp group although Im not good with technology shall I give my number on here so somebody can set one up?xx

OP posts:
Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 19:11

RaspberryBeretxx · 17/12/2024 17:33

Not the lovely pink mugs??! Glad you found them though!! And sorry about those foam things spilling everywhere. They're a nightmare! I remember saving box full for DD to play in when she was smaller and it was awful, massive regret 😂. Oh yes, let's make a commune. Lots of spoons and support and cake 😍.

@BeNavyCrab what a beautiful story about your special spoon. I'm so glad you got it back! Does your Mum still have it? I could really imagine you desperately trying to swim down to it. That's so lovely that some of the locals joined in on the hunt.

Hope you're OK @Apolloneuro . Yes to chin up, boobs out and counting blessings but it's OK to be sad too. Can we give you some emotional support 💖? I know it's not exactly the same as your DH being able to but I do believe in getting different things from different people where you can if that makes sense. Sending a big hug and some imaginary cake 🍰.

Noooo not the pink mugs , I’m not that generous 😂. They was just plain white ones that I’ve never used until today. I’m still finding bits of hot chocolate powder in the kitchen even now!
Those foam wotsits are awful aren’t they.
Big hugs to all spoonies this evening xxxx

OP posts:
Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 19:11

Big big hugs @Apolloneuro xxxxx

OP posts:
Apolloneuro · 17/12/2024 19:22

Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 19:03

Hi all , I have read your messages I’ve just had afternoon with my daughter .
Sorry to hear your thinking of leaving MN @Apolloneuro , I do understand how you feel I read some other threads and the replies are awful. I’m way too sensitive to get replies like that.
Im happy to do a wattsapp group although Im not good with technology shall I give my number on here so somebody can set one up?xx

Don’t put it in here lovely. I’m happy to set one up or you @RaspberryBeretxx?

Let’s give it a few days for everyone to see it. Then whoever wants to can pm their numbers to whoever sets it up, maybe xxx

Giraffe888 · 17/12/2024 19:41

I know I’m not the best at posting on here but if I’m welcome I’d love to join you on what’s app. I think I’d be better at keeping involved on there too xx

RaspberryBeretxx · 17/12/2024 19:57

Apolloneuro · 17/12/2024 19:22

Don’t put it in here lovely. I’m happy to set one up or you @RaspberryBeretxx?

Let’s give it a few days for everyone to see it. Then whoever wants to can pm their numbers to whoever sets it up, maybe xxx

That’s a good plan. I’m happy to set it up or for you to! Good idea to leave it a few days and see if people are happy to join. Xx

Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 20:14

Giraffe888 · 17/12/2024 19:41

I know I’m not the best at posting on here but if I’m welcome I’d love to join you on what’s app. I think I’d be better at keeping involved on there too xx

Hi @Giraffe888 , of course you’re welcome. Your a spoonie xx

OP posts:
Giraffe888 · 17/12/2024 20:39

@Imbluedalale thank you for your lovely response.

I do read daily, I just find it hard to reply to everyone in one go whereas I find what’s app chats easier to keep up with!

how was your afternoon with your DD? Xxx

I do hope you’re ok though @Apolloneuro

Malbecfan · 17/12/2024 21:06

Finally finished term after a crazy 2 weeks. Sorry not to have posted Laura, but it looks like you are in good hands and good spirits. Your DD will come round, I'm sure - I've spent 30+ years working with them!

@Apolloneuro if you decide to go, please PM me your contact info as I'd love to meet you for a coffee. I find some of the righteous indignation on here swings between hilarious and terrifying. However, the majority of people are ok, but the ones who aren't tend to be the most forceful.

I'n heading off to bed shortly as I am shattered. Last week I had 3 concerts/Carol Services in 3 days and I haven't really caught up. My older daughter comes home from uni on Sunday for a week and I must tidy up a bit. She is coming to the end of her PhD so rarely comes home now, and I miss her so much. Her younger sister has to work on Christmas Day & Boxing Day so won't be here at all. We are all planning to visit her the weekend after Christmas to catch up.

Apolloneuro · 17/12/2024 21:12

Lovely to see you @Malbecfan. I will pm you.
Malbec and I have worked out we live within 10 miles of each other. That’s fun isn’t it!

Mainly, it is that I spend far too much time on my phone. I am going to try to look only on this thread for 10 mins, twice a day. Please tell me off if I’m on here many times a day 😂

Hi Giraffe xxx

Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 21:18

Giraffe888 · 17/12/2024 20:39

@Imbluedalale thank you for your lovely response.

I do read daily, I just find it hard to reply to everyone in one go whereas I find what’s app chats easier to keep up with!

how was your afternoon with your DD? Xxx

I do hope you’re ok though @Apolloneuro

Well I’m more than happy to do a wattsapp.
Well my afternoon took a rather funny turn. My eldest rang me really upset as he cheated on his gf back in May and she’s just found out and dumped him which I really don’t blame her for tbh. But my eldest asked me to help him show he’s sorry and he’s never really opened up to me before so I said I’d try. He knows she might never forgive him but he wanted to say he’s sorry. So I asked my daughter to meet me in town and I got her a gift bag of gifts . He’s working away in Liverpool so couldn’t do it himself. I got her a jellycat which is a bunch of roses, a bracelet with her name on, fluffy socks, candle, chocolates and a bunch of flowers because I remember her saying a few weeks ago that he had never bought her flowers. And she was coming to see my daughter at mine for an hour this evening so I gave her them and she started crying. Felt so heartbroken for her. I told her I don’t condone what my son’s done but I hope she stays in contact with me and daughter . I asked my son why he did it and he says he really doesn’t know and that he’s an idiot . I hope he can learn from this and realise you can’t treat people like that xx

OP posts:
Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 21:24

Malbecfan · 17/12/2024 21:06

Finally finished term after a crazy 2 weeks. Sorry not to have posted Laura, but it looks like you are in good hands and good spirits. Your DD will come round, I'm sure - I've spent 30+ years working with them!

@Apolloneuro if you decide to go, please PM me your contact info as I'd love to meet you for a coffee. I find some of the righteous indignation on here swings between hilarious and terrifying. However, the majority of people are ok, but the ones who aren't tend to be the most forceful.

I'n heading off to bed shortly as I am shattered. Last week I had 3 concerts/Carol Services in 3 days and I haven't really caught up. My older daughter comes home from uni on Sunday for a week and I must tidy up a bit. She is coming to the end of her PhD so rarely comes home now, and I miss her so much. Her younger sister has to work on Christmas Day & Boxing Day so won't be here at all. We are all planning to visit her the weekend after Christmas to catch up.

Hi @Malbecfan , sorry to hear you’ve had a hectic few weeks. I hope you have a nice relaxing sleep tonight. Sending big hugs ❤️.
That’s so lovely that you and @Apolloneuro live so close to each other , how amazing is that! They do say you meet the best people in the strangest of places. Well I’ve definitely met the best people, all of you spoonies . I think the world of you all I really do. It’s so nice to have friends, I didn’t realise how much I missed that.
I hope you have a lovely time with your eldest daughter , will be thinking of you xx

OP posts:
Imbluedalale · 17/12/2024 21:25

Apolloneuro · 17/12/2024 21:12

Lovely to see you @Malbecfan. I will pm you.
Malbec and I have worked out we live within 10 miles of each other. That’s fun isn’t it!

Mainly, it is that I spend far too much time on my phone. I am going to try to look only on this thread for 10 mins, twice a day. Please tell me off if I’m on here many times a day 😂

Hi Giraffe xxx

That’s so lovely @Apolloneuro . I’m excited for you both. You must wear your green coat!xx

OP posts: