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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To doze while my kids get themselves ready for school

123 replies

Weezypopsy · 05/12/2024 08:05

Three kids: 12, 15, 17. All capable of making breakfast, getting ready, getting themselves to school etc.

On days I am WFH and my husband goes in, I wake them at their respective times, then doze / sometimes fall asleep again, until I have to get up for work.

when husband is WFH he will get them breakfast and see them off. Neither of us think the other is wrong, just choose to do it differently. He was in the office every day until Covid so think it’s still a nice thing to do for him. I was self employed and did all the morning routines for 13 years so enjoy not having to.

no problem here. Am just curious as have previously seen people little irate at “lazy”parents sleeping in! AIBU to stay snoozing?

OP posts:
TrippTover · 05/12/2024 22:02

Jeez my kids are 7 & 9 and often up hours before me and 2 year old surface!

stripeyshutters · 06/12/2024 22:38

It's not about making the toast or them burning down the house it's about having a positive mental attitude to life.

Original poster
Weezypopsy · 07/12/2024 02:43

stripeyshutters · 06/12/2024 22:38

It's not about making the toast or them burning down the house it's about having a positive mental attitude to life.

We are pretty good on that front so no worries there really. Not perfect, of course. But who is?

OP posts:
Original poster
Weezypopsy · 07/12/2024 02:50

I love that this has taken a classic AIBU route. Most have been either ‘it’s fine’, or ‘not keen’ with some good, valid reasons. All good and useful to hear. Don’t think I have changed my mind on dozing but I respect and value your points of view.

Then you get deeper in and suddenly we are in neglect, lazy parenting, poor role model territory. So predictable and hilarious. So Mumsnet. I always wonder how those who are so vitriolic actually get by in the real world.

OP posts:
Moonshine5 · 07/12/2024 02:54

12 and 15
Is there some reason you are waiting up late?
Do you not enjoy your children?

Original poster
Weezypopsy · 07/12/2024 03:00

Moonshine5 · 07/12/2024 02:54

12 and 15
Is there some reason you are waiting up late?
Do you not enjoy your children?

It’s not late, it’s in time for work.

OP posts:
Scarydinosaurs · 07/12/2024 03:40

I am a morning person so therefore am superior to all other non-morning people 😉

I feel up early and exercising/ making use of the time is the best approach whether the children need me or not. And then, of course, slip into every conversation that day how early I was up and what I’ve done because otherwise, what’s the point if you can’t lord it over others 😬

Workingthroughit · 07/12/2024 03:54

Dollshousedolly · 05/12/2024 08:13

Obviously, they are old enough to sort themselves out but for the 12 yo in particular, I think it would be good to be more of a presence in the morning. Although they may not show it, they will appreciate your presence and sometimes at times like this, it’s where you’ll have the chats and hear any worries, etc they might have.

Exactly this.
Once they are home again, it’s homework/dinner/activity/no doubt screen time. You can get a lit from seeing them off, pick up on any worries etc even if it’s fleeting.

junebirthdaygirl · 07/12/2024 04:25

I grew up in the 60s. My dad was a farmer. When we went to Secondary he called us, set breakfast and then went to his chores. My mum continued to sleep until time for primary kids to surface. We got a very early bus. We had absolutely no issue with it and all grew up very independent and well able to take care of ourselves. We were also quick and efficient at getting out. Also it was good for us seeing our Dad being totally involved and everything not being left to one parent.
Saying that my mom was a SAHM so there as soon as we fell through the door after a long day, with dinner ready and all set to hear our stories of the day. If no one is there when they arrive home it might be more of an issue.

Original poster
Weezypopsy · 07/12/2024 10:18

junebirthdaygirl · 07/12/2024 04:25

I grew up in the 60s. My dad was a farmer. When we went to Secondary he called us, set breakfast and then went to his chores. My mum continued to sleep until time for primary kids to surface. We got a very early bus. We had absolutely no issue with it and all grew up very independent and well able to take care of ourselves. We were also quick and efficient at getting out. Also it was good for us seeing our Dad being totally involved and everything not being left to one parent.
Saying that my mom was a SAHM so there as soon as we fell through the door after a long day, with dinner ready and all set to hear our stories of the day. If no one is there when they arrive home it might be more of an issue.

Yes, we do like to have someone around and I was self employed for 15 years with that being one of the reasons for that choice. We organise our days in the office so that one of us is usually home. On the odd occasion we are both in, the kids see it as a bit of a treat as we will usually order a takeaway!

OP posts:
Original poster
Weezypopsy · 07/12/2024 10:20

Scarydinosaurs · 07/12/2024 03:40

I am a morning person so therefore am superior to all other non-morning people 😉

I feel up early and exercising/ making use of the time is the best approach whether the children need me or not. And then, of course, slip into every conversation that day how early I was up and what I’ve done because otherwise, what’s the point if you can’t lord it over others 😬

Haha, who knew there was a waking up hierarchy? 😂

OP posts:
Tink3rbell30 · 07/12/2024 10:55

It's fine as long as it isn't everyday. It's nice to be present for the morning sometimes.

Hankunamatata · 07/12/2024 10:57

Jealous. It's like bloody wwe with my teens on a morning

stripeyshutters · 07/12/2024 12:02

Weezypopsy · 07/12/2024 02:50

I love that this has taken a classic AIBU route. Most have been either ‘it’s fine’, or ‘not keen’ with some good, valid reasons. All good and useful to hear. Don’t think I have changed my mind on dozing but I respect and value your points of view.

Then you get deeper in and suddenly we are in neglect, lazy parenting, poor role model territory. So predictable and hilarious. So Mumsnet. I always wonder how those who are so vitriolic actually get by in the real world.

People are entitled to their different points of view on this.

Original poster
Weezypopsy · 07/12/2024 12:15

stripeyshutters · 07/12/2024 12:02

People are entitled to their different points of view on this.

Show quote history

pretty sure I said as much in my first paragraph. Reasonable disagreement is a long way from pure vitriol though.

OP posts:
JollyZebra · 08/12/2024 19:16

I'd be awake but probably in bed with a cup of tea and a book/paper for them to say good bye to me before they leave. Just my preference. Do Iwhatever suits you, I'm sure they'll survive.

bolshygirl · 08/12/2024 19:28

Scarydinosaurs · 07/12/2024 03:40

I am a morning person so therefore am superior to all other non-morning people 😉

I feel up early and exercising/ making use of the time is the best approach whether the children need me or not. And then, of course, slip into every conversation that day how early I was up and what I’ve done because otherwise, what’s the point if you can’t lord it over others 😬

Fanbloodytastic response 😁😁😁

ironflan · 08/12/2024 20:01

When I was younger my mum (single parenting) as she divorced my dad and then moved 200 miles away from him. I got myself ready and left to go to school without her, she slept in until she was ready to get up. Think neither way is wrong. I get up because I have a 12/7/5 but I'm sure when the youngest is 12 I'll be having a more relaxed approach like yourself.

BeNavyCrab · 10/12/2024 03:08

Weezypopsy · 07/12/2024 02:50

I love that this has taken a classic AIBU route. Most have been either ‘it’s fine’, or ‘not keen’ with some good, valid reasons. All good and useful to hear. Don’t think I have changed my mind on dozing but I respect and value your points of view.

Then you get deeper in and suddenly we are in neglect, lazy parenting, poor role model territory. So predictable and hilarious. So Mumsnet. I always wonder how those who are so vitriolic actually get by in the real world.

They go through life with a mouth full of the taste of vinegar. A burning sensation in their chest and moaning to their cronies that they just received yet another penalty charge notice for parking their pitchfork inappropriately, for the nth time!😜

Original poster
Weezypopsy · 10/12/2024 07:08

BeNavyCrab · 10/12/2024 03:08

They go through life with a mouth full of the taste of vinegar. A burning sensation in their chest and moaning to their cronies that they just received yet another penalty charge notice for parking their pitchfork inappropriately, for the nth time!😜

Show quote history

I feel like “you go through life with a mouth full of the taste of vinegar” should be a well known phrase or saying!

OP posts:
PeachyKeane · 10/12/2024 07:56

Still in bed, OP. Just waved son off to school and told him only another week and he too will be able to lie in 😄😃😂

Original poster
Weezypopsy · 10/12/2024 17:50

PeachyKeane · 10/12/2024 07:56

Still in bed, OP. Just waved son off to school and told him only another week and he too will be able to lie in 😄😃😂

Good work. Aspirational, in fact.

OP posts:
Mumble12 · 18/06/2025 09:40

I am in this stage of life and I love it, mine are all busying themselves with hair and skincare in the morning and don't need me for that, so I can get up at leisure and get myself ready for the school run/work in peace!

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