To have walked out of my work Christmas party in favour of dining alone

[Namechangey23]

New employer..I don't know many people as yet. Works Christmas party on Oxford st. No real entertainment, no food (yet!) and dull dull small talk, which, to be honest, was never my strong suit. God it bored the absolute tits off me. So I've walked out at 7.30pm in favour of dinner alone in a nice Turkish restaurant. Sod wasting a child free night on that rubbish! Life's too bloody short! Should I have stayed to show willing, AIBU for leaving...or would you do the same? Yes I've seen the mistake in the title and no I can't change it.

Well it's up to you, obviously, but if you are quite new then it's hardly going to endear you to your colleagues or your boss.

I love a French exit and would have done exactly the same. If you get questioned about it say you were abducted by aliens and have no recollection of the evening.

Well, I understand why you did that but there may be fallout of some sort if it was noticed. For example? It may make it more difficult for you to gel in the organisation.

Being unpopular does not faze me to be honest. You'll never be everyone's cup of tea!

i would have stayed, however my colleagues are a laugh and likeable.

how many people were there OP? A sit down dinner of a dozen people is quite different to a bar with 50 people

My boss wasn't even there!

Err rude. And as a manager I’d be furious if you slipped out of a party before the meal and telling no one. It would have been polite to at least say to one person that you had to leave.

You have acted in an obnoxious fashion here and it would definitely mark your card in my team- I wouldn’t allow that to affect how I viewed your work performance- but I wouldn’t forget it in a hurry.

50 plus I'd say. Yes I think I'd not have walked out of a sit down do.

You won’t get to know anyone if you can’t be arsed to make some effort. And I don’t for a minute believe everyone there was boring. If all of your (minimal) interactions were boring take responsibility for your part in that.

Was it a meal, or a bar? If a meal was on the way you have been very rude but if it was milling around a bar with drinks and nibbles I think it’s fine. People won’t have noticed.

Probably best to fudge and say you felt a bit unwell and didn’t want to make a fuss…if anyone asks. The excuse kind of works for skipping tomorrow’s party as well. Hope you enjoyed your solo meal!

Just had my Christmas lunch

I was squished between two people as the table was too small

And the food was rubbish

So no, I don't blame you, op

I never ever attend formal departmental do’s but I will go to small discrete pissups with a select small group of work colleagues which is actually fun.

Why would OP card be marked? 😂 Nobody will think oooh she left early let’s push her out of the job.

Well there you go, I think that’s fine.

Oh I do. I can't be arsed with small talk. I'd rather get to know people in small groups where I can hear what they are saying without crappy loud music and people bumping into me and sloshing drinks.

I wouldn't work with boring people.

No-one will have noticed, or would have assumed something at home came up.

Rudeness in my book is making insulting and obnoxious comments. Not disappearing. Although if your workmates are as self-righteous as the posters on this thread, you may have problems!

Why bother with AIBU, you clearly think you are already reasonable, and clearly think you are right.

The fact you now feel the need to boast to a load of strangers on the Internet, in order to be told how cool you are, says more about you than anything.

Good job you enjoy your own company so much…

Im “a middle class woman of a certain age” and I never go to after work events. Haven’t probably for 10 years. Christmas party is at lunchtime will stay for the meal and then bugger off afterwards probably won’t go to the pub for a drink afterwards. Boss always chooses the busiest and noisiest pub sorry can’t stand them. I always say I’m happy to do a working hours event but have commitments so can’t do evenings. You have to stick to your guns and make it clear early on.

Hope you enjoyed your meal.

No, but they might well be joking "was it something we said?!" and thinking "what a snotty cow"...not the impression I would be hoping to make on my new colleagues!

Will people have noticed if it's just drinks? I imagine I'd just assume you popped in for one to show your face then had to go, if I even noticed.

I’m a manager. I wouldn’t hold this against you at all. I might think harder about how to make it seem a better event.

What is better though, forcing people who don't want to be there to stay through politeness? They are not my keeper and if I want to leave I can of my own free will. I don't need to put my hand up do I? I've got autonomy. I came out of politeness in the first place and look where it got me!