Do you tell your partner what you want for Christmas?

[SofandaCox]

My friend sends links to her husband and he buys it and wraps it. Surely this isn’t normal? I’d be so upset if I had to do this for my husband! What’s the point in wrapping a present when your partner already knows what it is? What do you do?

I do the same as your friend. It means I get EXACTLY what I want.

I don't like the idea of it, I would like a partner who knows me so well that he can pick out perfect, thoughtful things for me and surprise me with them.
But I've never had a partner like that, at least by doing this you get some of what you want, if not the thoughtful surprise!

But do you not feel a bit disappointed that you’re not getting a surprise?

My DH has asked for ideas this year and my DB always asks too. I always send loads more than I want, so lots of different options so I don't actually know what I am getting and also very clear they don't have to get it for me and can absolutely go off piste if they choose.

No - if I want something I buy it and same for him. We don't bother with gifts for each other.

I hate surprises so I do the list with links too. I find it far more exciting to look forward to the items I know I really want.

I think it depends on the OH. Some guys are really good at either buying great surprises, or picking up on hints, whether subtle or not! Some are dreadful at it.
If you really care about getting the right gift and are with one of the latter blokes, I guess giving a list ensures you get what you want and saves wasted money on unwanted gifts.

I don't like surprises so I hint heavily what I'm thinking of getting dh and he tells me if he'd like it. He does the same in return.

For example
-Did you say you wish you had some warm pyjamas?
-I did yeah, I'd love some warm pyjamas, the button up kind especially

After years of dropping hints that DH and sons never picked up on I started writing a Christmas list many years ago. Usually at the beginning of November. It has approx 20 items of varying costs from a couple of pounds upwards. The men in my life love it and I still get a surprise as there is lots to choose from.

We do a mix, there's usually always something I want every year so I will ask for that specifically and then DH will get me a few smaller surprises as well. This year I've asked for AirPods so I know DH will buy those, I'm 29 so perhaps by the time we're older we will have all of those things we want anyway so can just do surprises. Of course I could have just bought the AirPods for myself at any point during the year but we are saving to buy a bigger house so we tend to either save or spend money on days out with the kids etc. We are quite frugal when it comes to ourselves really.

Definitely not unusual amongst our family and friends either, there's always group WhatsApp messages on the lead up to Christmas asking what people would like.

We give each other a list of things we'd like. With no expectation that we will get all of the list, just something on the list.

So no one knows exactly what the will get, but will know it's something they want.

I do that with my oldest friend too. We are fortunately all financially comfortable, so can afford what we each need. So that only leaves "things we quite fancy" as presents, and although I'm close to my immediate family and friends, none of us are mind readers.

I don't really see the point in buying each other lots of stuff for Christmas. If we want or need anything we just get it ourselves. We do absolutely LOVE Christmas though so we're no bah! humbugs! We would much rather spend spare cash on a holiday that we can enjoy together. We do spend max of £50 for some little gifts to open on Christmas day and these are things we just know the the other would like.

Exactly what @Notmydaughteryoubitch said! 😊

My experience of surprises is that they more often tend to be things that you quite like but you don't love. Whereas if you ask for what you want you get something you really love

I send my husband a list of suggestions . Occasionally I even buy the items and hand them to him to wrap because I have accounts that get points or discounts and he does not.

I’m ok with this because occasionally he surprises me with something truly thoughtful and just astounding. The kind of gifts that just blow you away and you still think about the perfection of them years later.

I do a list and have done for years he supplements it with a few bits I usually like

I would like my husband to take the initiative but unfortunately after many years of crap presents (potato ricer anyone?) I now send links. I do links because even if I do just tell him he will inevitably get the wrong one. A lesser quality or different colour to what I wanted. It's easier this way. although to be honest I still sometimes get very little. I know he hasn't ordered anything yet whilst I have done all the shopping for almost everyone.

Yep, we do lists. I'm better at getting stuff off list for DH; but he's not great at that for me. So now I send a long list of lots of items of differing costs & then he can share it with family too.

I send lots of links to DD and she tells DH and he gets me some of those those things

No I am super excited to open stuff that I really want to get!
He does add a couple "off list" and we really only buy token gifts to have a few things to open as we also give ourselves a set figure from our joint account to spend or save as we wish. I like to buy things like a spa day with that.

My birthday isn't long after so the list rolls over to that!

I have in the past sent a link but now I'd rather just go shopping myself and not get a present from him. Gifts are not my love language so doesn't bother me at all.

This is exactly what I do too. DP is dreadful at buying presents, and I'm particular, so this way he is guaranteed to get it right.

Except when he tries to be clever and goes off piste - he gave me the "wrong" ruby ring for our 40th anniversary because the stone was bigger. I like it, but I don't love it, so it doesn't come out often. You really would think he'd have learned by now 😂

I hint. I do like surprises and he's generally pretty good at getting me gifts.
The problem is when he asks me what I want, I never know what to ask for!

No, but DP and I are both bad at presents and don't especially enjoy the whole rigmarole. We agreed fairly early on that presents are a really crap way of determining how much someone loves you and the whole "my partner must be able to telepathically know what I want and get me 2-3 perfect presents every year" mindset isn't conducive to a healthy relationship.

Birthday presents are fancy meals out because we both love them. Xmas presents are small - funny tokens or practical items, something we can use or which makes us smile, but are not meant to be "meaningful" in any way.

I don't really see any issue with telling your partner what you want though. It doesn't spoil anything. If it works for your relationship that's all that matters. The heart of the relationship is how it makes you feel the 363 days of the year you don't receive presents, not the 2 days you do.

I send DH a list to pick from. Though he is generally quite good at also finding me a surprise.