Do you tell your partner what you want for Christmas?

[SofandaCox]

My friend sends links to her husband and he buys it and wraps it. Surely this isn’t normal? I’d be so upset if I had to do this for my husband! What’s the point in wrapping a present when your partner already knows what it is? What do you do?

My husband picks out lovely thoughtful gifts, but if he wants to get me something I actually want, he has to ask. And yes, I normally send him a link to something specific else I might get the wrong version, size, colour.

I give him a list and he gives me one and we pick a few things. Then I don't end up with a book I've read or a lipstick I don't like.

I do the same as your friend. Always have, rather than not say anything, you end up with presents you don't like. Tbh by the time Christmas comes, I usually forget what I asked for, so its kinda a surprise.

No my husband never gets me anything anyway so there's no point. It's all very selfish asking for or getting gifts. I really don't understand adults that ask for or expect presents. It's very weird and greedy.

We don't do xmas presents for each other but for my birthday I sometimes send dh a link. I know it takes away the surprise but if you want something very particular then it is helpful!

Maybe grow up a bit. You're an adult presumably. Why do you want presents. That's really strange behaviour.

Never. The whole point of gifts is that they should be a surprise. Sending a request or, worse, a link, is just miserable.
And in 30+ years, he's always chosen well.

I do a list with links and so does he. We always put loads on and still don't know what we'll get.

Yes, I give him a list of about 6 things from expensive (about £1000) to cheaper (about £100) and that way I know I'll at least get something I want!

I do this. I don’t like surprises or crap gifts and I’d get both if I didn’t tell OH exactly what i want. I tell him, he buys it, everyone is happy!

I do this too. He’s so amazing in every way but gift giving 😂 he used to get so worried at Christmas so now I send him a few idea I want and then he’ll get me a surprise too. Most people I know actually do this too

We've always done this for each other, with surprises thrown in here and there (I bought him a ps5 one year and he actually cried 😭) but I'd much rather get something I want. This year I want a hoodie, it's about £60 so quite expensive compared to what I normally wear but I'd rather him get me what I actually want.

Mine is the worst gifter. For my birthday I got an empty Xmas stocking (and a note to say my other gift was late). I wasn’t born around Xmas

so this year I said I want this one specific thing which is very cheap. He still managed to fuck that up but we had time to rectify. And I bought my own present and stocking fillers. I’d rather have some nice to open in front of the Dc than fake it with his shit.

Just reading thru this and I'm feeling a bit sad now..
I do love my DH and know he loves me he just doesn't express that via gift giving.. but I can't even give a list because it seems to put stress on him. One year he asked me to tell him what I wanted for Christmas and we were stood in a shop so I pointed at a few things around and he just got really arsey with me saying 'do you think I'm made of money?!'
I think he might have felt pressure to buy all the things I pointed out?? So now I just pick one specific thing and tell him, then that's what he gets me.
It's sad because I like surprises.
But it's a difference in how we were raised.
His family are all people who ask for one specific gift. This is how he expects it to be.
If I give him a long list of stuff to choose from it feels tense. We both feel bad. I feel grabby and he feels pressurised.
Really I would like to be able to give a longer list so there was more an element of surprise with what I ended up getting.
I mean if we are being honest I'd love a partner I didn't have to give a list to at all.

I just have to post this here as it's very fitting:

Yes, me too. I don’t make a list as such, but I’ll say things like “ooh they’ve got a new hot chocolate in Whittards THAT I’D LOVE FOR CHRISTMAS” and then he surreptitiously (not) makes a note on his phone.

This year I’m getting a new ring and I’d much rather I chose it than him!

We’ve been together 26 yrs and never bought each other Christmas gifts. Not birthday.

we find its much easier!

I always tell him what I want - with links.
My DDs tell us what they want - with links.
DH will just ask for “pyjamas” or some such. We spend about £40 on each other, up to £100 on our daughters.

I do the same and the disappointment is less than the disappointment of when he gets to freestyle.

My DH puts a lot of thought into gift buying. The problem is his thought process needs an intervention. First Christmas together he bought me a colander. Another time he bought me a metal dog made out of an old car exhaust pipe.

We have Amazon wish lists with loads of things on. We can choose stuff off it-so it’s stuff we want but the buyer has an element of choice and the recipient has an lament of surprise! It’s worked for us for years.

If I didn't give DP a link of what I want, I'd end up with cash which is even more disappointing. I've kind of just accepted he isn't the kind of guy who will put thought into a gift he knows I'd like. It is disappointing, but I've had disappointing birthdays/christmases where I've had nothing, so at least this way, I get a present I want, and it's usually something I wouldn't spend money on for myself.

My mum, however, does spoil me and she always gets me lovely surprises.

I agree op, i think people should have enough imagination to buy a present for a person they love

I usually ask for jewellery and send dh links to a few websites that I like and he chooses something.

It depends, some years I have an idea of what I'd like and send a link (if he's not had any prior ideas himself) and other years I ask to be surprised, and he'll do a great job. This year as it happens we've both just sent links to each other, it's not very often this happens but we both had a strong idea of what we wanted for ourselves and our personal spends is tied up at the moment because we are saving money for a holiday away together without the kids (so we don't use our family holiday fund) so we haven't had as much money spend on ourselves that we usually would. I suspect we'll both want surprises next year! We've been together a long time now. We wrap them up because we think it's important our kids see us giving.

I ask dh to buy me nothing and I get exactly what I want. I buy me the best presents and I buy them when I need/want them. Gifts bought by other people are almost always a disappointment.

I send a few links throughout the year (by the time Christmas comes, I’ve forgotten) but DH is really good at gifts (for me only, he’s utter crap with everyone else!) and my main present is always a surprise. He’s never got it wrong yet (20+ years)