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Original poster

Do you tell your partner what you want for Christmas?

115 replies

SofandaCox · 04/12/2024 18:49

My friend sends links to her husband and he buys it and wraps it. Surely this isn’t normal? I’d be so upset if I had to do this for my husband! What’s the point in wrapping a present when your partner already knows what it is? What do you do?

OP posts:
BigDahliaFan · 04/12/2024 19:20

Yes I'll send a link ir a photo. Or more usually we do a trip to London prior ro Christmas and I'll choose something....

gannett · 04/12/2024 19:21

Oh and DP and I are both impossible to buy gifts for anyway because both of us have quite specific tastes in the things we like (I love music and that's why no one should ever get me anything music-related) and if we really want something we'll have bought it for ourselves already.

SingingSands · 04/12/2024 19:21

After getting an ugly fleece one year followed by a sat nav the next (I didn't even have a car!) - yes, I now do this and it's GREAT.

TeenToTwenties · 04/12/2024 19:22

DH only really appreciates 'hobby' items so he buys them himself.
I send links or point things out for me.
We have enough going on without both going out and buying things the other won't fully appreciate.

Nikitaspearlearring · 04/12/2024 19:22

He has a general idea of what I like (having wanted the same all the years I've known him) so the actual product will be a surprise, but if there's a book or something I want I'll buy it, give it to him to hide away, and then hopefully by Christmas I'll have forgotten about it and it'll be a surprise. (Until later on Christmas Day when I'll remember it and he has forgotten it and forgotten where he hid it! 😆)

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 04/12/2024 19:23

SofandaCox · 04/12/2024 18:58

But do you not feel a bit disappointed that you’re not getting a surprise?

Show quote history

A surprise can be good or bad though!

NewName24 · 04/12/2024 19:24

Perfectly normal here, to provide a 'wishlist' for those that want it, yes.

Generally though, we don't tend to get each other things anymore, as we are now in a position to be able to buy something we want as and when we see things, and neither of us wants anymore clutter (or things we don't really want) in the house.

lifeturnsonadime · 04/12/2024 19:24

I do a wish list and he picks from it.

Most people we know do it this way.

Our teens give us list too. And when they were younger they wrote letters to Santa.

Good way to avoid disappointment.

mamajong · 04/12/2024 19:25

I have adhd and am rubbish at choosing gifts for people, I find it so stressful I much prefer to get a wishlist and pick from that so it's sort of a surprise. For myself however there is very little I want and I'd hate anyone to waste money so I'd absolutely prefer to state exactly what I want and (unreasonably) would be a bit disappointed if I got something else - however I would not say so

pizzaHeart · 04/12/2024 19:26

I do but we do token gifts mostly. I’m quite fussy by now and don’t like useless stuff so it works better.

mindutopia · 04/12/2024 19:26

Yes, I don’t want shit that I don’t want. Dh is pretty good at coming up with other things too. But Dh’s presents are what he sends me a link to. I hate buying gifts. I don’t do it for family. I only just about do it for my dc (Dh still does most of it and does all the stocking stuff). I love him. I cook wonderful meals. I plan great holidays. I’m a great wife all around. The trade off is I don’t do gifts. If you want them, you need to send me a link. That’s just how it works. To be fair, neither of us are fussed about gifts. We have a happy life. We don’t need to buy eat other junk.

Thisisnotmyid · 04/12/2024 19:26

It depends. I give ideas and direct links depending on what it is I want and DH does the same. He has a particular hobby that I often buy things for and generally he’ll pick something specific for it. There’s always little extra surprises involved too though!

daisychain01 · 04/12/2024 19:28

I'm even worse- I take my DH to the shops and we buy our presents together. I then buy the wrapping paper and he takes what he needs to wrap my presents and I do likewise. No fuss or need to return things. The job is done and we don't think about it until Christmas morning. Happy days.

Can't stand "surprises". We also get stuff on Black Friday so the price is cheaper, we don't see the point being ripped off. 25% in White Stuff, no way would I want DH paying the full price!

Gowlett · 04/12/2024 19:30

I buy it myself & he just gives me the money.
Or he buys his too, and we’re even then!

My family, we like to go shopping together.
Everyone just points out the gift they want.

We get surprises from Santa for the kids.

Theeternalrocksbeneath · 04/12/2024 19:33

I can’t bear wasted money, especially on presents so my husband and I always give each other lists of what to buy.

It’s not that he doesn’t know me (and he should - we’ve been together over 30 years!) and we would be able to buy presents each other would like without lists. But by giving lists, not one penny is being wasted and we’re getting things we love, rather than merely like.

Nina1013 · 04/12/2024 19:34

I always choose my own gifts, but this is because we have joint money and my husband would spend a ridiculous amount and it would make me feel bad rather than making me happy, because I think of all the things I could have spent that money on instead for the benefit of the family. He would buy me truly wonderful presents but I would feel so guilty about the cost that it just doesn’t work.

He would much prefer to be free to go wild, but this works for us! He accepts that I really can’t help the way I am about it.

bakermummy21 · 04/12/2024 19:35

Yes we say what we want. Or the type of style such as a brown leather bag similar to this etc

Lulu1919 · 04/12/2024 19:36

No
I like a surprise
I might pass a book or a dress for example in the run up and say oh that's lovely or I've always wanted to read this ...
Also I have daughters who from early teens were able to tell him ha ha

Thatcastlethere · 04/12/2024 19:37

It is normal.
In an ideal world we'd all marry partners who had the same sensibilities as us..
I married a man I'm actually really good friends with and have 90% shared interests with.. he still would be unable to get me something I liked. He's just too 'masculine' in the traditional sense of men just being shit at gifts. I'm sure there are men out there who are good at it and enjoy it.. but I'd say majority don't. My DH just sees it as a waste of time because we could 'just buy whatever we want ourselves anyway'
He genuinely doesn't get any joy from giving or receiving gifts.
He's tried on his own a couple of times and altho I appreciate the sentiment and it was nice to see him try... I do just tell him a list of what I'd like for him to pick from. It's a total waste of money otherwise as he's just clueless. He also somehow always manages to give away the surprise.. he drives me nuts with it cis we have 3 kids and he doesn't hide gifts we'll enough..
I think it's just not how he grew up. His family weren't big on gift giving or surprises. Everyone asked for 1 specific thing abd then they get given that specific thing.
To me that seems pointless because yes in that scenario he's right, you may as well just buy it yourself.
It's the surprise and the magic I like.

Isthiscorrect · 04/12/2024 19:39

I always send my DH a list. It has loads on it. From mega millions to packets of seeds. He can choose whatever he likes. He also, usually manages one or two things I didn't expect.

Edingril · 04/12/2024 19:40

No because if I had to do that i would just buy it myself

MereDintofPandiculation · 04/12/2024 19:41

We circulate lists around the family, all working from the same list, and DH goes from that whereas I tend to ignore it. DS1 always ignores the list. I tend to be not too specific with my list, DS2 sends actual links. Making sure we don’t buy the same as someone else means lots of pre-Christmas private texts and adds to the buildup.We don’t spend a lot on presents, around £30. But it’s something to open, and something we want but might not have spent money on ourselves.

I realise this makes us sound like a bunch of eight year olds!

PeloMom · 04/12/2024 19:42

I do what your friend does. I send few options so it’s a surprise what exactly it is while being something I really like/want

stripeyshutters · 04/12/2024 19:42

Years ago a friend said to me " do you want to be disappointed on Christmas Day ? Then let your husband choose presents for you 😂
My ex got me in no particular order an electric tin opener , a white plastic belt, an ugly grey waistcoat, a stand for my iPad and a set of felt pens ( both and that was the sum total). He did do well one year by hiding a pair of 1.5 carat diamond studs inside a tiny cuddly toy! My current gets told what I would like and he prefers though though he still has a tendency to panic and impulse buy in a random gift shop. Eg one year he bought me leather Union Jack gloves 🙄

Caffeineneedednow · 04/12/2024 19:43

Yep I do that means I get exactly what I want. So does DH.

I actually hate gifts, if I want something I want to pick the one I actually want not have someone else try to guess what I might like.

So at Christmas we each basically get free reign to spend a bit of money on something we each want. We're both happy as we have exactly what we want