To think work Xmas parties should start in work hours?

[ByTidyHelper]

Just as the title says really. Our work Xmas party doesn't start til 6:30pm this year in London which is a 1hr commute for me each way. I really think work Xmas parties should start in work hours e.g. 3 or 4pm as this would be so much better for those with families who could attend at the start for a couple of hours and then go home.

I'm probably not going to mine this year just due to the fact it starts in the evening and I cannot be bothered to get back home late and have to figure out what we do with my kids bedtime etc (they are in a phase of meltdown mode unless mummy is putting them to bed so would be tough on my husband to have to deal with this solo).

What do you think? AIBU to expect work Xmas parties to start in work hours?

And he obviously needs the practice.

I would hate a party that started in working hours - it would mean I had to attend. No thank you! I’ll stay back and cover the phones!

Our Christmas party is a big event and everyone gets very dressed up. I can't imagine sitting down to a Christmas dinner in a cocktail dress at 4pm.
You don't have to go.

Same would apply for Hospitals and other jobs too. But then again appears different rules apply for office workers

It certainly ought to be starting at the earliest going home time so that people can stay for an hour or two then get home to family if needed. Especially in cities where many employees commute in.

No, there is always a customer facing department that can't start partying at the same time as everyone else. It just breeds resentment.

We are having a very low key Xmas Do this year, pizzas in the office at 5.30pm followed by an Escape Room and if anyone wants to carry after that they are welcome too, its what people voted for, I'll be home by 8.30pm😂

Our use to be in the afternoon but it’s moved to an evening so I now can’t attend. I’m not too bothered, it would be nice to maybe have a meal with the team but hardcore drinking isn’t my scene

Ours always have been started in the afternoon-we get hotel rooms as part of it so we all get sent to the hotel after lunch to get dressed and ready, then the party and drinking starts in the later afternoon and goes on till the wee hours. It's mainly a very nice dinner though so we have the fun part before and after the sit down part.

There are no national rules about Christmas party conditions, why would there be? If you are in a public sector office it will be similar rules to any in the public sector. If you work for a private company in an office they are going to please themselves, why would it not be the case?

1. You just want to go so don't go. You're knackered and sleep deprived.
2. No matter when the party is it won't suit everyone.
3. Some people want to go home and get ready beforehand.
4. You could (if you wanted to go) stay slightly longer at work and get ready and then go to a cafe for a while with a book or phone and wait there or ask a workmate who lives nearer to the city centre if you can go to theirs for an hour or so (I've done that before).
5. Your husband needs to learn to deal with bedtimes and one evening should be doable. What if you became ill and had to be hospitalized and he had to look after them for a week? He needs the practice.

And honestly even if it is a big thing, just skip going this year. It’s not reasonable in most industries to cancel all activity for a half day to work around one person’s kids’ tantrums.

Can you imagine if the NHS did this? “Sorry Mrs Smith, your heart bypass is cancelled because the anaesthetic team want to have their work party in office hours. They usually have their party at 6pm, but this year one of the team doesn’t trust her husband to put the kids to bed, so we’re cancelling all surgery from midday.” Ludicrous.

I used to vastly prefer after work parties - it really feels properly social instead of a work event and I had really good work friends I enjoyed spending my time with. I'd happily do a big commute at the end on the train.

Now I'm a bit older I prefer the 'lunch in work time' approach of my current job. In the first year I thought it was shit - it was not a lot of fun at all, just a slightly awkward gathering, nobody drinking as back to work after. Now I've given up trying to really make friends with the team (hybrid working seems to have filled office friendships) so a in-work lunch is just fine, it's an afternoon away from the computer. I prefer that to going out with people of an evening who can't be bothered any other time of year. But really I'd still prefer proper work mates and a knees up.

Yes but she doesn't work for the NHS, context is everything here, she works for an advertising company, it is not life or death surgery!

Ok, “Sorry we’re going to have to move the pitch back, one of our team doesn’t trust her husband to put the kids to bed on time”. Still ridiculous.

I don’t think there is any right answer here, My employer, we’ve either done a sit down Christmas lunch (turkey, stuffing, pigs in blankets) at a local chain restaurant starting at noon, which was pretty boring and formal, or since COVID it’s been catered lunch (sandwiches, awful catering tray sandwiches) and salad with juice boxes from Lidl in the meeting room while we had a Christmas card crafting competition, which was also boring and made me feel like it was the last day at school and teachers were running out of ways to entertain us before the start of Christmas holidays. 🤣 Dh takes all his staff for a whole day activity, then dinner, drinks and gets them all taxis and a night in a hotel so no one has to travel home drunk. That’s all day Friday through Saturday breakfast.

Both are fine. Both probably suit different kinds of people. I’d rather rip my eyes out with a hot poker than spend an evening of my free time and an overnight with my work colleagues!! But dh’s employees (they are all young ish guys 20-mid 40s) seem to enjoy it. That said, if I wanted to attend something, dh would just have to handle bedtime for the night and I would crack on.

It is not that unusual for a work Christmas party to start in the afternoon for example so the OP isn't asking for something outlandish.

In London its normal to go out straight from work due to the very long commute times.

Yes but is about the husband's competence or about the OP's concern for the happiness of her young children. My DC are teens now but I felt like this about my youngest in particular as she just wouldn't settle for DH. I had to take part in a work thing once a week when she was a toddler and I felt awful as I knew she'd be wanting me. You can help how you feel. When I came in from work she'd wake up and come and find me. DH is a good Dad but there was no rhyme or reason to it.

Hard agree!

I’m public sector, so our situation is different. Last year we chose to have a Christmas lunch so everyone could be included. The option was either to take the afternoon off afterwards so you could drink, or not to drink and then you could go back to work. It was in our own time (flex) and actually worked really well. It’s obviously not paid for either but we got a good deal on a set menu at lunchtime. Some people went out drinking afterwards on the evening too, but at least everyone got to celebrate together.

Ours starts at 10am with drinks and secret santa in the office then off to pub for lunch at 1ish. Generally 'merry' enough by 5pm to have no desire to stay any longer 😅

Yup. Same in healthcare. I can imagine the Daily Mail headlines now...

Every official work do I've been to in the civil service is over lunchtime. We organise and pay for our own meal or drinks so it's optional to attend. Means everyone has the opportunity to join during the normal working day, then has the option to use their own flexi time or annual leave in the afternoon, either to go home early or continue the party. Alternatively can return to the office and work the afternoon. Each team's party is coordinated across the office so another team covers any urgent work that afternoon. Groups of work friends and the sports and social club often organise other evening events, also optional.

20 years ago we used to get a 2 hour Christmas Flexi credit which I believe was traditionally granted across all the CS, but was scrapped as part of austerity post 2010.

Yanbu

If they are in the evening, work should provide a hotel

We are having two this year, I'm only going to the lunch