To think work Xmas parties should start in work hours?

[ByTidyHelper]

Just as the title says really. Our work Xmas party doesn't start til 6:30pm this year in London which is a 1hr commute for me each way. I really think work Xmas parties should start in work hours e.g. 3 or 4pm as this would be so much better for those with families who could attend at the start for a couple of hours and then go home.

I'm probably not going to mine this year just due to the fact it starts in the evening and I cannot be bothered to get back home late and have to figure out what we do with my kids bedtime etc (they are in a phase of meltdown mode unless mummy is putting them to bed so would be tough on my husband to have to deal with this solo).

What do you think? AIBU to expect work Xmas parties to start in work hours?

it is like so many things as a working parent. Either you can go or you can't. (the excuse of your children needing mummy to put them to bed is... meh. They can perfectly well have their dad put them to bed if you want to go to the party)

I work in customer service so there is no chance that we can close early for the Christmas party but each to their own you have to do what suits the majority in these circumstances someone will always miss out

You want the whole party timing and dynamic changed for everyone to suit you just so you can make a "brief appearance" because your dh can't put his own kids to bed for one night. 🤦‍♀️

This is the end of 2024 and most companies stay away from boozzie parties. Not only they represent a risk with issues like sexual harassment when people get shit faced, but the younger generation, at least in Australia and Spain, are staying away from alcohol and prefer foodie parties.

The old 80s/90s are long gone. The OP is new to the company, a young parent, and didn't want to stay at a party held at a bar. No one would have missed her for Adam, and at least she had a good meal instead of being wasted the following day for drinking too much.

You get a Christmas party?

Anyone who organises a Christmas work party is amazing in my view.

I did it one year and it was horrendous. Half the parents wanted a lunchtime event to be back for their kids, the other half wanted an evening one to avoid their kids 😂

The two vegetarians wanted a place with lots of veggie options that no-one else liked. The Muslim wanted a halal place as they said it wasn't fair if they had to eat veggie food. Then they kicked off about how inappropriate it would be to have a glass of fizz before going out (even though others also weren't drinking for other reasons).

I did find somewhere vaguely fitting most people's need in the end but I will never do a work party again.

you just have to suck it up or miss out. It is annoying but the small kid phase doesn't last long.

Plus as we have all said - ad nauseam - your DH should be able to manage. Stop pandering to your children in this way.

I am going to be That Poster. If you say this at work expect to be sidelined more and more. As a woman it has been fucking INFURIATING to elbow my was to where i am, and yes, i missed some things (sometimes work things, sometimes kid things) on the way. But it really really makes management reluctant to take on anyone with kids or likely to have kids. And yes, at my "dizzy heights" i am doing what i can to make corporate culture more balanced with outside work things (for everyone, not just parents) but slow and steady wins the race.

Christmas parties, in the grand scheme of things (equality and better workplace) is not the hill.

It’s once a year!! And if you think it should be organised around you and your child’s changing routine you’re very much living in cloud cuckoo land unfortunately.

I think work parties should start immediately after work to avoid people having to go home or hanging around until they start. However, I think it is up to the individual organisation to choose whether to finish early that day. Parties should not be in work hours at any time.

My workplace is having an informal party at work and within work hours today. It's a couple of hours and people are bringing in food and having a fun quiz etc. A couple of us can't attend as we already had meetings booked - now I do think that is unfair. Either a party should be arranged for a time when everyone can attend or not at all. It would be very much frowned upon to cancel attendance at a meeting to have a social occasion. Not professional.

Don't get me started on the parties arranged outside the organisation, for instance at a restaurant, where those attending get the whole afternoon off but if you chose not to, or were not able to, attend then you had to work the whole afternoon. I'm autistic, have specific food dislikes, I don't really drink, and didn't have much money. The idea of going to an expensive Mexican restaurant crammed in with people I didn't know very well, some of whom I know are going to get very drunk, when spending money on that meant having to do without something for my family, was just horrendous, so I wouldn't go and I would end up being the only person in the office all afternoon. That happened more than once.

So from reading your post and updates:
you don’t want to go because it starts at 6.30
you don’t want to go because it’s an hour away
you don’t want to go because you have young kids “in a phase”
you don’t want to go because bedtime would be hard for your husband
you don’t want to go because there’s no meal, just drinking

So don’t go! 🙈

The kids would probably go to bed quicker if you weren't there anyway.

just don’t go then because you clearly don’t want to so what’s the point in moaning about it? The way you’re going on about being a 30 something mum of two is ridiculous it’s not like you’re in your 80’s. Plenty of 30 somethings can manage a night out. If they wanted to. You just don’t want to which is fine but you’re just trying to make excuses for it

My boss used to buy us a Xmas drink during lunchtime and then we went back to work. That would never happen today 😁

Some years ago now, but the last office I worked at did similar.
Switchboard shut at 12.30, so everyone (who wanted to) got together in the dining room for a full Xmas lunch with copious amounts of booze. Leaving before 5pm wasn't appreciated, but working wasn't really expected. Happy times!

When I was at school 00s the teachers would have a glass of wine at the whole school Christmas lunch

That couldnt be further from the truth for the young people i know here, and our Christmas parties at work!
Ours starts 6:30pm, we get to leave at 3pm to get ready (or in my case, sort my horses out!) The younger ones are getting ready at the office and going to a pub to pre drink before they get to the venue. We have a 3 course meal and free bar - everyone i have spoken to is planning on utilising this in full 😂

Don't go to a party if you don't like to party 🤘

God it all sounds so tedious .... I miss the old knees up, thankfully there are still a few occasions.

OP, it's a once a year Christmas do.
You're coming across as a bit precious to expect the Christmas do to be moved to mid afternoon rather than an evening out because "you have children and they want mummy to put them to bed"
I'm sure your DH can manage absolutely fine for one evening.

Back in the 90s I used to work for a very large bank in the complaints dept. We went out every Friday lunch time, had cocktails and then came back to work half cut to finish working. Certainly made dealing with the unreasonable customers more enjoyable. At Christmas we all partied in the office, the big bosses got booze in and would wheel it around on a trolley whilst we all got sozzled and then went home around 8pm. Some hard-core people went into the city to party but even at 18/19yo I was never a hard party goer.

I work in a public sector job now, but it's set up more like the civil service. We don't strictly have an Xmas party as we are all over the country but my specific team are having a lunch and then off for drinks after. We're starting at 2.30 but as I'm the only one with a 2 hour commute to get there I'll be leaving to catch a train about midday and then a train home at 8pm.

I have blocked out diary time in my calendar to get glammed up 😁

there are only a few things I miss about being employed and for my last company at least this is one of them. I worked directly for the CEO and is PA sorcerer the party so party day I went down with her and the other girls that arranged it to the hotel and checked everything, this involved a walk round the room then lunch a few glasses of wine and then a nap (usually in my room) and then shower before everyone turned up. Then we had the meal and drinking and drinking, I used to be able to handle my drink so got huge amusement out of lots that could not and allways ended up talking to people I wouldn’t do otherwise. Next morning great seeing everyone worse for wear at breakfast and then mooching into the office and pretending to work and finding out which blokes the office erm “slightly easier ladies” had done and if any of them had done the same guy. Good times 😄

No. Early dos are so woke. You need to get your husband to show so empathy and sort baba for one night. Next thing there will be no alcohol in case it offends teetotallers or no dancing in case there are "not ables" in wheelchairs that can't participate. Xmas comes but once year so ding dong have some 😁

Well, we're doing it differently this year and having a Christmas breakfast. It's a nightmare getting everyone together for evening do's, getting deposits paid and get somewhere booked that everyone likes.

Going out in the morning means we can have a nice breakfast, no risk with alcohol involved, in a profession where that's really, really risky. Everyone can make it as we're supposed to be working anyway, so no extra journey's involved and just a nice happy morning.