To think work Xmas parties should start in work hours?

[ByTidyHelper]

Just as the title says really. Our work Xmas party doesn't start til 6:30pm this year in London which is a 1hr commute for me each way. I really think work Xmas parties should start in work hours e.g. 3 or 4pm as this would be so much better for those with families who could attend at the start for a couple of hours and then go home.

I'm probably not going to mine this year just due to the fact it starts in the evening and I cannot be bothered to get back home late and have to figure out what we do with my kids bedtime etc (they are in a phase of meltdown mode unless mummy is putting them to bed so would be tough on my husband to have to deal with this solo).

What do you think? AIBU to expect work Xmas parties to start in work hours?

No it's an optional party and I don't think it needs to be in work hours. If you don't want to go or can't go then don't. Not everyone has young children.

Everywhere I’ve worked we get a half day for Christmas lunch and then drinks into the evening too. If there was an evening only one I probably wouldn’t go.

My DH arranges the party for his teams every year (his actually started half an hour ago!).

It is always a lunch (ie he gives his teams the afternoon off). This is because many have families or commute in so this way everyone is able to come for all/part of the event (and def the lunch) and if people want to head to the pub afterwards and catch the last train home that is their prerogative, but it means others can leave at the same time as usual if they need to (or if they just want to escape!) The lunch is paid for out of the company allowance, but they have to buy their own alcohol so he even makes sure that non drinkers/drivers are not disadvantaged.

See I think the opposite because I hate work social events so I love having the excuse I can't attend in the evening. Not sure how I'd wriggle out of a daytime event.

I think Christmas parties really vary depending on the sector you work in. I've worked a lot in public sector and parties tend to be after work because time is coming out of the public purse (which suits me tbh). Parties when I was in the private sector were brutal, most started at 1pm and everyone would be crawling home at midnight. My DH works in manufacturing and his works do is always on a Saturday because they start work at 5am (that's a long day if you go to a party after a 12-hour shift!).

Lots of office hours in London are until 6pm anyway.

An hour's commute is nothing.

Inconvenient for you this year OP, but the whole working population can't be expected to work around one set of kids going through a particular phase.

Lockdown and WFH has turned people into hermits.

Any Christmas parties that have started out during the working day have been boring and fizzled out early as everyone is still in “work mode”

The decent, memorable ones are where it is an actual event completely separate to the work day and office

I used to work somewhere where had summer and Christmas socials that would start at lunchtime by going into central London and you could stay out after but the actual party would be in the afternoon. It was carnage though as most people were shitfaced by 6pm! I only worked mornings though as was part time sham so it still didn’t come out of my working hours 😂. Luckily DH would take the afternoon off.

Very true, if the majority want it to be an evening do then those who cannot make it can ask for next year to be a day do.

FWIW I've been to some and not others and I've no idea who wanted the ball in a town 200 miles away from most of the employees, but they got their ball and we got to not go. The most crazy of all is this years Christmas do is being held in January? Now that is mind boggling. I understand why but then to my mind, just dont bother.

That last line may be true.

We don't have nearly as many after work events or social gatherings as we did before Covid. It's like people have discovered not going out is quite nice and saves a lot of money.

I WFH on a Friday, so I'm hardly going to trapes into my city centre for a couple of hours of after works drinks which is when a majority of these things happen.

Our Works Christmas do's have died a death as well. No meals as such just a buffet which isn't festive, it is paid for and starts mid afternoon, and if you don't attend you have to book the afternoon off as leave.

Invariably there is a mass exodus at 5pm from wherever it is as that's official finishing tome. Last year the drinks were so expensive in the place we had it, there was a handful of people left at 6pm from a department of 100 people.

From what I can tell, office parties are far from raucous any more as someone will have a beady eye out for misbehaviour to report.

I honestly don't think there would be a single complaint if ours got cancelled, and that's with it being paid for as well.

Ours starts in the pub at midday (afternoon off work booked to project work) and continue till last man standing. I used to love it in my youth but I tend to be home in bed by 8PM these days 😪

You can never please everyone.

DH's Christmas do is a 'proper' works party - £1000s put behind the bar, food provided, everyone pissed. Except for the shifts that are working that night which unfortunately has been DH for the past 8 years. Annoying but just one of those things.

As for not going because it's your kid's bedtime... I'd be sorting that out asap 🙄

Do you never go out at night then OP? About time your DH learnt how to put his kids to bed.

I agree wholeheartedly with this!
my kids are teenagers now so no longer need me to put them to bed....I want to go out out!!!

You don't have to go, and your DH should be able to manage his own children for one evening. You don't have to always need to "think of him" to the extent that it curtails your own life. If he thought of you to that extend the current bedtime predicament wouldn't have arisen.

It would be nice if there was some part of the event organised for during work hours, because regardless of people's home lives you know they can make it during office hours when they are normally working, whereas many people will have caring responsibilities and things like that outside of work time that they can't necessarily rearrange for a night out.

This is exactly it. OP is saying she won't go on her Christmas Do as she's being considerate of her poor husband having to deal with a stressful bedtime routine one night of the year?! My DP would be ushering me out of the door and telling me not to worry and have a good time! Oh and as for being sleep deprived the next day, surely he can get up early with the kids and take them out for a bit so she can have a lie-in?!

I work in a school. I feel the parents may not approve if we crack open the prosecco in assembly.

Out primary has announced they are closing at 13.30 on the last Friday before Xmas.im assuming it's for an Xmas party and am all in favour! Assembly might be pushing it tho..

The early close before Christmas is so staff can de-Christmas the building before they go home.

It's weird ripping down decorations before Christmas has even happened.

The party happens the weekend before.

Does your DH have a work Christmas party?

A suggestion you could both take a night off and catch up on sleep.

For your respective parties book a room in a hotel and have a night off. Get changed before your party go enjoy rhe meal and maybe a glass or two of wine (if you drink alcohol). When your ready go back to your Hotel have a relaxing bath and sleep.
It will do you the world of good before the onset of proper Christmas.

Your husband could do the same at his work party, relax, be adult, be sociable and a decent night's sleep.

Merry Christmas

Yabu, if it was in office hours I would be under pressure to get my tasks done and arrive frazzled. There are swings and roundabouts to it buts it's optional so if its problematic then you don't have to go

Mine is on a SATURDAY NIGHT, the same day I am hosting my child’s birthday party and extended family staying in my home. And it’s in the middle of fucking nowhere so I am DRIVING there and back in the shitty freezing weather on my own.

Its a very small team so my absence will be noted if I don’t attend… but I don’t want to go!!!

My current plan is to go for the meal and leave not long after… but it would be good not to go at all…

I think there should be 2, one a civil brunch (alcohol free) in work time and another out of work which is voluntary.

I don't think anyone should be pressured or expected to attend any evening do as people have responsibilities / different budgets / commutes which means out of work socials are not always accessible.

Personally I won't attend any evening work do- I'd rather spend time with my family / at my hobby etc

This. If you don't want to go because you're too tired due to kids waking up all night that's completely understandable but just own it and don't expect your company to change their plans. Suggesting your kids can't be put to bed for one night of the year by your husband is ridiculous. We have people at our office that also complain out of hours Christmas parties aren't inclusive to mothers and as a mother of young kids myself my response is always 'tell your husband to step up' or 'get a babysitter'. Most of the time people just don't want to attend but instead of owning that they try to make it seem as if everyone else is unreasonable for suggesting an out of hours event once or twice a year.