Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how ‘rough’ is this rough area?

194 replies

Jumell · 03/12/2024 13:49

Strangers in your block of flats asking you to lend them money ‘til their dole money comes through then stropping off offended when refused

being bitten by Rottweiler outside flats

heroin addict dead in flats - body lay undiscovered for 2 weeks - admittedly happened, but admittedly NOT during time I lived here

kids graffitiing stairwells with pens

my windscreen wipers snapped off in flat car park

woman I suspect is prostitute due to comings and goings - but not 100% sure and u may have got it wrong

loud arguments between neighbours about noise

a few serious ex offenders housed

  • however - it’s otherwise alright ! 👍😀
OP posts:
Gogogo12345 · 03/12/2024 16:36

drspouse · 03/12/2024 15:12

It kind of depends on a few other things.

I lived in an East End borough for a few years and all of these things will have happened within two streets of where I lived - but because of the incredibly mixed nature of London boroughs, there were also 1/2 million pound homes (20 years ago, so 1.7m now). There were a couple of walkways you'd NEVER go down after dark, but also very well equipped schools, craft markets, independent coffee shops and gorgeous restaurants coming out of your ears, lots of "family bikes" (though also lots of potential for them getting nicked!).

Hackney id assume. My dad was born there over 80 years ago and when the " gentrification" started was very much of the opinion of not being able to make a silk purse out of a pigs ear

oakleaffy · 03/12/2024 16:39

drspouse · 03/12/2024 15:12

It kind of depends on a few other things.

I lived in an East End borough for a few years and all of these things will have happened within two streets of where I lived - but because of the incredibly mixed nature of London boroughs, there were also 1/2 million pound homes (20 years ago, so 1.7m now). There were a couple of walkways you'd NEVER go down after dark, but also very well equipped schools, craft markets, independent coffee shops and gorgeous restaurants coming out of your ears, lots of "family bikes" (though also lots of potential for them getting nicked!).

Belgravia had a poor {as in sad situation} very wealthy addict who was left alone in a room, covered by cardboard boxes - she'd died in front of her husband, who saw the light go of out of her eyes...
He was so traumatised, he left her there, for months, unable to cope.
He told cleaners to never go in the room.

Eva Rausing. Hope she is at peace now.

SaltLampFeelsDamp · 03/12/2024 16:41

This London block of flats sounds worse!:

https://archive.ph/8XwvF

”Our block of flats became a hellhole some time ago. The exact date is unclear. There were warning signs: crack dealers in the stairwell, kids in hoodies stealing phones on Lime bikes, strange guttural screams in the middle of the night. But the change from manageable to unliveable was slow. The rot set in over time. The frog was boiled gradually.
I moved to Surrey Quays, in London’s Docklands, in 2023….”

Jumell · 03/12/2024 16:53

Itiswhysofew · 03/12/2024 16:27

In all honesty, I wouldn't be rushing to live there. How do you cope with it?

What kind of state is the lift in?😆

There’s no lift - only 3 floors - low rise

OP posts:
Allthehorsesintheworld · 03/12/2024 17:11

Miresquire · 03/12/2024 14:35

I might start a thread about how posh my posh area is

I was going to say I live in a village that considers itself the poshest of the posh ( I hate it as I’m a working class northerner😁) but a lady died in her home and no one thought to go in for 3-4 days and friend’s teenager tells me there’s a drug dealer lives in the village so 🤷‍♀️

It does sound sad though OP, as if it’s the sort of place that’s lost all hope and many of its residents can’t see a positive future.

tachetastic · 03/12/2024 17:11

Jumell · 03/12/2024 13:49

Strangers in your block of flats asking you to lend them money ‘til their dole money comes through then stropping off offended when refused

being bitten by Rottweiler outside flats

heroin addict dead in flats - body lay undiscovered for 2 weeks - admittedly happened, but admittedly NOT during time I lived here

kids graffitiing stairwells with pens

my windscreen wipers snapped off in flat car park

woman I suspect is prostitute due to comings and goings - but not 100% sure and u may have got it wrong

loud arguments between neighbours about noise

a few serious ex offenders housed

  • however - it’s otherwise alright ! 👍😀

I'd say it's a strong 8.

oakleaffy · 03/12/2024 17:14

Allthehorsesintheworld · 03/12/2024 17:11

I was going to say I live in a village that considers itself the poshest of the posh ( I hate it as I’m a working class northerner😁) but a lady died in her home and no one thought to go in for 3-4 days and friend’s teenager tells me there’s a drug dealer lives in the village so 🤷‍♀️

It does sound sad though OP, as if it’s the sort of place that’s lost all hope and many of its residents can’t see a positive future.

Edited

Very wealthy village that a colleague lives in - definitely drug dealers there {Middle class} - and heroin and crack cocaine litter on. a Green Lane.
Very close to Highgrove.

mathanxiety · 03/12/2024 17:17

It's rough as a bears arse.

Blibbleflibble · 03/12/2024 17:21

I lived in similar flat in Middlesbrough. Only there a year, car got broken into twice (the clutch was fucked on both occasions so they didn't manage to steal it for a joy ride which was all it was worth as a cheap banger) and house broke into once. (That made me feel very unsafe and our landlord was shit)

Glad I'm out, I really feel for people having to bring up kids there and the children themselves. There are some nice folk but drugs and poverty just create hopeless crab buckets that people just can't get out of without a massive load of intervention (which would require massive spending) but successive governments are far too short-term thinking and would happily let these people rot.

Hope you're doing okay OP. xx

Jumell · 03/12/2024 17:26

Blibbleflibble · 03/12/2024 17:21

I lived in similar flat in Middlesbrough. Only there a year, car got broken into twice (the clutch was fucked on both occasions so they didn't manage to steal it for a joy ride which was all it was worth as a cheap banger) and house broke into once. (That made me feel very unsafe and our landlord was shit)

Glad I'm out, I really feel for people having to bring up kids there and the children themselves. There are some nice folk but drugs and poverty just create hopeless crab buckets that people just can't get out of without a massive load of intervention (which would require massive spending) but successive governments are far too short-term thinking and would happily let these people rot.

Hope you're doing okay OP. xx

Ah so sorry to hear this - I’ve not actually had my car or flat actually broken into

OP posts:
SilverDoe · 03/12/2024 17:30

I got moved by my housing association from a lovely little maisonette in a beautiful quiet leafy street (ours was the only converted house into flats, all others were big detached properties that most people living there had been in for decades. Beautiful nature walks, lake with lots of kids facilities nearby, huge town centre nearby. Lovely park and playing field right behind, then a huge nature park just down the hill.

We were moved because somebody moved into the small flat below us, much if the behaviour you describe ensued. The property turned to squalor, infested with rats and mice and stinking, which was awful as it was an adjoining property and not a proper separate one. Strange people would come and go at all hours of the day and night, and you could hear violent encounters often. We shared a doorstep and sometimes you would have to wait to go out, because there was an angry wasted person hanging round outside, or an armed police raid/police kicking the door down.

We were moved into a block of flats barely a mile away but it was like a different world. Admittedly, being only a couple of estates over, we were still close to a lot of the facilities mentioned before, and even closer (way too close) to the town centre. It is so much fucking worse. If our last place was one bad apple spoiling a pretty tree, this place was just a bunch of rotten festering mulch.

The downstairs neighbour, despite being loud, antisocial, awful and annoying, made it their literal life mission to make our life hell, to make us feel as unwelcome and unable to live in our home as possible. Most other neighbours in the block are fortunately reasonable, but we have plenty of times left to take the kids to school and had to walk past someone who is off their face, screaming and vomiting, or having loud inebriated fights, or shooting up in the lovely communal garden (that we were told is unsafe to let our kids play in, so is a complete waste), or lying wasted right outside of our door, leaving piss and condoms and drug paraphernalia behind.

Honestly, living here has broken me and changed me forever as a person. I don't know how people cope with living in environments where they feel constantly on edge and threatened. Flats are so so much worse because there is so much more friction, and so much less privacy.

OP, do you like it where you live? I do think that's all that matters; there are different kinds of rough that are more cultural and less threatening.

WoolySnail · 03/12/2024 17:31

Is that you from the 'can I feed myself for £30 a month ' thread Jumell?

SilverDoe · 03/12/2024 17:33

And yes, the impact on raising children in these environments is so difficult; there is so much extra to contend with that families shouldn't have to contend with, or be subject to 😢

Jumell · 03/12/2024 17:36

SilverDoe · 03/12/2024 17:30

I got moved by my housing association from a lovely little maisonette in a beautiful quiet leafy street (ours was the only converted house into flats, all others were big detached properties that most people living there had been in for decades. Beautiful nature walks, lake with lots of kids facilities nearby, huge town centre nearby. Lovely park and playing field right behind, then a huge nature park just down the hill.

We were moved because somebody moved into the small flat below us, much if the behaviour you describe ensued. The property turned to squalor, infested with rats and mice and stinking, which was awful as it was an adjoining property and not a proper separate one. Strange people would come and go at all hours of the day and night, and you could hear violent encounters often. We shared a doorstep and sometimes you would have to wait to go out, because there was an angry wasted person hanging round outside, or an armed police raid/police kicking the door down.

We were moved into a block of flats barely a mile away but it was like a different world. Admittedly, being only a couple of estates over, we were still close to a lot of the facilities mentioned before, and even closer (way too close) to the town centre. It is so much fucking worse. If our last place was one bad apple spoiling a pretty tree, this place was just a bunch of rotten festering mulch.

The downstairs neighbour, despite being loud, antisocial, awful and annoying, made it their literal life mission to make our life hell, to make us feel as unwelcome and unable to live in our home as possible. Most other neighbours in the block are fortunately reasonable, but we have plenty of times left to take the kids to school and had to walk past someone who is off their face, screaming and vomiting, or having loud inebriated fights, or shooting up in the lovely communal garden (that we were told is unsafe to let our kids play in, so is a complete waste), or lying wasted right outside of our door, leaving piss and condoms and drug paraphernalia behind.

Honestly, living here has broken me and changed me forever as a person. I don't know how people cope with living in environments where they feel constantly on edge and threatened. Flats are so so much worse because there is so much more friction, and so much less privacy.

OP, do you like it where you live? I do think that's all that matters; there are different kinds of rough that are more cultural and less threatening.

Omg I really sympathise that sounds a nightmare

im fortunate enough never to have had a rat/mouse problem

tbh its not the best place I’ve lived … the view outside is very depressing fur example just a load of HMO/guesthouse (dodgy) looking places - yuck

OP posts:
Andoutcomethewolves · 03/12/2024 17:45

Zee1993 · 03/12/2024 16:35

Those on UC and PIP can’t help it. You’re shouting way above your means anyway as you clearly can’t afford anywhere ‘nicer’

Did you not read the no judgment bit? And I include those who are homeless/on drugs/prostitutes in that too.

My DH is on PIP and was on UC before I met him btw. And we live here because we want to, it has genuinely good points.

Zee1993 · 03/12/2024 18:01

Andoutcomethewolves · 03/12/2024 17:45

Did you not read the no judgment bit? And I include those who are homeless/on drugs/prostitutes in that too.

My DH is on PIP and was on UC before I met him btw. And we live here because we want to, it has genuinely good points.

Gosh how good of you to ensure you include those you see as beneath you…you know that singling so called ‘minorities’ out doesn’t make you relatable right?

Icantdothus124 · 03/12/2024 18:07

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Maldives2006 · 03/12/2024 18:10

@Jumell

it is lame humour!! people there's a lot of people who don't have a choice in living in areas like/similar to this

Jumell · 03/12/2024 18:11

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Aw so glad everything’s worked out brilliant for you !

OP posts:
JMSA · 03/12/2024 18:12

Sounds pretty rough to me.

Zee1993 · 03/12/2024 18:12

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Good for you! Grip on tight to him! Lord knows where you’d be without him! In all seriousness though surely you’re not that dense?

Andoutcomethewolves · 03/12/2024 18:18

Zee1993 · 03/12/2024 18:01

Gosh how good of you to ensure you include those you see as beneath you…you know that singling so called ‘minorities’ out doesn’t make you relatable right?

🤣

You have precisely no idea of my background but go ahead and be a dick if it makes you happy 😊

Zee1993 · 03/12/2024 18:25

Andoutcomethewolves · 03/12/2024 18:18

🤣

You have precisely no idea of my background but go ahead and be a dick if it makes you happy 😊

Gladly! I won’t stand for it when you purposely come across as an over privileged tw** , I can guarantee my next two payslips you don’t live in the same vicinity as the humans you have so called empathy for. Shut up.

Andoutcomethewolves · 03/12/2024 18:27

Zee1993 · 03/12/2024 18:25

Gladly! I won’t stand for it when you purposely come across as an over privileged tw** , I can guarantee my next two payslips you don’t live in the same vicinity as the humans you have so called empathy for. Shut up.

👍

WinterCrow · 03/12/2024 18:33

Zee1993 · 03/12/2024 18:12

Good for you! Grip on tight to him! Lord knows where you’d be without him! In all seriousness though surely you’re not that dense?

@Zee1993 I think you've posted this to the wrong poster, and she's now withdrawn her heartfelt post. Did you make a mistake?