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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be VERY concerned about unattended 7 year olds?!

329 replies

Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 18:36

I am actually gobsmacked. For once in my life.

I have just been reading another thread and a couple of people have said that they allow their 7 year olds to walk to school on their own WITHOUT making sure that they go in the gates.

HELLO?!!!

DD is 8. There is NO WAY on this earth would I allow her to walk to school on her own!

Worst case scenario:

DD walks to school by herself. I don't see her go in. Some arsehole snatches her. I don't know about it until AFTER school, because the school don't ring me to say she hasn't arrived. Cue police/newspapers/radio/manhunt.

I feel very strongly about this! It's madness!

Fair enough, allow them to walk HOME from school (then you KNOW that they have arrived!), but PLEASE think about what you are doing!

OP posts:
Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 19:43

Nicky - No, I use a number of the boards. Under a different name. You'd all be suprised to know who I am.

Not that you are going to, of course

OP posts:
sarah293 · 29/04/2008 19:44

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kayzisexpecting · 29/04/2008 19:44

I feel sorry for your DD doctor. She obviously wont be able to do anything until she is 21. God forbid she ever finds out about boys

nobodyputsBBinthecorner · 29/04/2008 19:44

however all of that said...i dont think il be letting mine go it alone at 7.... thugh i do of course need to have one first ...

hatrick · 29/04/2008 19:45

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FAQ · 29/04/2008 19:46

oh but hatrick - I don't even dash across the road - so risk of me being hit by a car non existent

shelleylou · 29/04/2008 19:46

Its like you popping next door to ask for some sugar!!!!!

ChasingSquirrels · 29/04/2008 19:47

I don't think anyone actually cares who you are, and there are far more of us being amazed at you than the other way round - which might lead you to think that YABU, except it won't.

FAQ · 29/04/2008 19:47

oh god I'd never leave him awake - couldn't trust him not to completely and utterly trash the living room LOL.

nobodyputsBBinthecorner · 29/04/2008 19:48

i spose in the doctors defence, its all abpout how safe you feel your area is? it can happen to anyone, i suppose for me it jus wouldnt be worth the worry all day its just my logic that although its a million to one chance you never want to be the one, i do aggree tho that come the age of perhaps 10 or 11 i would be worried at myself if they weren;t going some places alone, i think its all about teachin your kids how to protect themselves...ie teach them to go to the nearest adult who also has kids, and that your voice is the very best weapon etc

misdee · 29/04/2008 19:48

FAQ is it you who can almost touch the school building from your garden?

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 19:49

Kay, don't talk such utter rubbish. I have already stated that DD goes to shop/friends by herself.

I will, however, NEVER put her in ANY danger, unlike certain people on here. I AM maybe more protective than some (I wouldn't dream of leaving her in the house alone, just yet), but I have a better relationship (and a very grounded one!) with my daughter, than ANY of my friends/playground Mums have with their kids. So don't feel the need to feel sorry for me, ok?

OP posts:
lululemonrefuser · 29/04/2008 19:49

And anyway, if something bad should happen, here is a tale to cheer the heart.

In our local area, a man followed two 10 year olds who were walking home from a school club together (in daylight, at 4.15pm). The realised they were being followed, so as coached in safety talks they had had, changed their route home to stay in a more populated area. As they turned into a residential road he ran up and grabbed one of the girls. The other screamed as loud as she could (again, as she had been taught) "It's a stranger, help, it's a stranger". Three adults passing came to their aid and the man ran off. The police were called, caught the guy, and he ended up in prison. The girls were shaken and upset, and felt they'd had a lucky escape, but still walk by themselves.

My point, I suppose, is that without their previous experience of walking alone, without the coaching, those girls would have been more vulnerable when their parents finally did let them out alone. This way, although it was a near miss, it was largely so because of their fairly streetwise actions.

kayzisexpecting · 29/04/2008 19:51

Read your post re utter rubbish. Kids need independence.

Many people leave there kids alone, many let them walk to school alone. So its up to the individual. But like anything you shouldn't have a go at other people.

sarah293 · 29/04/2008 19:51

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nobodyputsBBinthecorner · 29/04/2008 19:52

Lululemonrefuser - thats exactly the point i was trying to make, its what you teach um!

Doctor - is you problem the length of time then not the alon-ness as it were?i can understand that side of it if what you are saying is, that the problem is you wouldnt know they were missing for hours till the end of school

i kno kay well and she wasnt insulting you, lets not all get personal eh? it undermines the discussion

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 19:52

Hatrick - I am so not ashamed of my views. I know I am not being unreasonable, I am being safe.

I did toy with the idea of using my own username, but I thought I would see how you'd react to a 'stranger.' As I have spoken to at least TWO people on this thread about similar issues in the past, and they have agreed with me. Obviously just gutless about saying something that goes against the crowd.

OP posts:
FAQ · 29/04/2008 19:52

misdee yes from the garden, when we were pulling all the ivy off the end of the garden wall last summer (or was it the summer before??) and were up the ladder I was having a good nose over the wall at the work they were doing in the reception area......

And when they put the canopies up over the play areas right outside the reception and Class 3 classrooms they actually had to use our wall to stand/sit on when they put the frame up (so we can touch the frame)

misdee · 29/04/2008 19:53

how do you know you have a better relationship with your dd than other mums?

SquonkTheBeerGuru · 29/04/2008 19:54

and fwiw, IATD... Your point about letting them go to the shops but not walk to school because it would be longer before you knew they were missing...

Well - let's just assume that your kid was abducted and you noticed after ten minutes.

How far away could that abductee have got in that ten minutes?

And by the time you've realised that they've gone, and roused yourself, and gone out and looked for the kid yourself, and not found it, and then rang the police (probably about an hour later, I reckon) then they've all started looking and organised a search and all.

Yeah, it's a lot shorter time than if you didn't notice he/she wasn't in school, but they could still be miles away by then.

Tortington · 29/04/2008 19:54

must depend on the kid, the school, the journey etc?

you can't judge everyon eles eby your kid - yousee your kid might be ded wimpy or hard as nails, or naive or worldly wise. your kid might be an onl;y child, the runt of the litter have manny brothers and sisters, used to fending for themselves yada yadda yaddda

kayzisexpecting · 29/04/2008 19:55

DH just said the exact same thing Squonk. You can get pretty far in 10 minutes in a car.

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 19:55

NPBBITC - Yes, that is entirely my point. Not knowing for up to a day that child hasn't got into school is WAY too long, in my opinion.

Kay - sorry, didn't mean to get personal. Just feeling a little bullied!

OP posts:
misdee · 29/04/2008 19:55

IATD, its only recently that dd1 has been allowed to walk to school alone. literally since easter.

we have weighed up the risks etc, have had chats about what to do if she meets a stranger.

plus i can see her almost all the way to the school, its only after she crosses with the lollipop lady that i cant see her for a little while. most days i do see her i nthe playground with her friends, but some days i dont.

she is 8 btw.

and its soooooo uncool to be seen with me in the mornings.

nobodyputsBBinthecorner · 29/04/2008 19:56

aw squonk that is a gd point, doctor i am confused as to why u've named changed, seems a bit silly to me...
im so changeable... i can see both sides thats why i love this place talk about making me question my views!!

IATD - i dont think you rcomments re gutless are fair, perhaps the ppl have just changed there minds?