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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be VERY concerned about unattended 7 year olds?!

329 replies

Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 18:36

I am actually gobsmacked. For once in my life.

I have just been reading another thread and a couple of people have said that they allow their 7 year olds to walk to school on their own WITHOUT making sure that they go in the gates.

HELLO?!!!

DD is 8. There is NO WAY on this earth would I allow her to walk to school on her own!

Worst case scenario:

DD walks to school by herself. I don't see her go in. Some arsehole snatches her. I don't know about it until AFTER school, because the school don't ring me to say she hasn't arrived. Cue police/newspapers/radio/manhunt.

I feel very strongly about this! It's madness!

Fair enough, allow them to walk HOME from school (then you KNOW that they have arrived!), but PLEASE think about what you are doing!

OP posts:
SmugColditz · 29/04/2008 19:35

So seriously then (I know you are ignoring me, so maybe one the other posters would rephrase it for me)

WHAT could happen and HOW would it happen?

Go on.

because I don't see that FAQ's children are at any more risk while she potters next door that if she was pegging out washing.

Or is that illegal too?

yorkishbirdy · 29/04/2008 19:35

In the last couple of months at two schools in our area (ie not our school but ones within a couple of miles) there have been snatch attempts made. Both directly after school, both aimed at 8/9 yo girls. In both cases the parents around the gates did not know anything at all until the next day when the headteachers had statements for everyone (A couple of parents had noticed the child run back into school at one of the incidents).

In both cases the man was young, not known to the girls and remains un-caught. It is asumed it was the same person but that is un-proven.

Luckily both children did not get in the car with the person and they went back to school, however, they did not scream they did not go to the nearest person with children and most importantly the other parents around and about saw nothing.

I have posted here many times about it being to do with how capable the child, how far, how many roads, how many other children and parents go that way etc etc. Now I think that is complete crap so what if it is statistically a one in a million chance? The fact is bleating "but it was so unlikly" while the paramedics treat your LO or the police search local woods/factories is not really going to cut it is it?

FAQ · 29/04/2008 19:35
shelleylou · 29/04/2008 19:36

I did that all the time when i was in a first floor flat kay!

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 19:36

I can't believe you are all justifying an 11 month old baby being left alone in the house - for however short a period it might be.

It's twisted.

OP posts:
hatrick · 29/04/2008 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SmugColditz · 29/04/2008 19:37

Can someone else rephrase my last message please?

cyteen · 29/04/2008 19:37

But what's the answer then yorkishbirdy? Microchipping? 24 hour surveillance? I know the fear engendered by such a thing must be awful, but life means taking risks, every day, and hoping that the unlikely but awful thing does not happen. Managing that risk to the best of one's ability is all anyone can do, surely?

FAQ · 29/04/2008 19:37

"potters next door" Colditz????? - more like legs it like the clappers as I look at the clock and realise that I'm nearly 5 minutes late (those occasions it only takes about 1 minute to pick him up and get back )

kayzisexpecting · 29/04/2008 19:38

cyteen That is a very good point about being in different parts of the house.

My nan and grandad used to have a house with 5 floors. My uncle fell(should say rode a ride on bus he had) down the very top flight of stairs when my grandparents were on the bottom floor. Its only because my mum was laughing as loud as possible that they went to see what was happening and got there just in time to stop him riding down the next flight. He broke his arm and knocked 2 teeth out.

SquonkTheBeerGuru · 29/04/2008 19:39

what we're saying, if you will listen, is that the woman lives so close to the school, that the baby is not really left alone at all.

And that there are plenty of things that we all do every day without blinking an eye that actually leave our babies unattended for longer than she leaves her baby.

Nobody is suggesting she pops over to Ibiza for a club weekend and lets the kid fend for itself

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 19:39

The point could be made without the disgusting comments, Hatrick.

Yorkishbirdy - THANKYOU.

OP posts:
shelleylou · 29/04/2008 19:39

Whats going to happen to FAQ's ds when the school is no further away from te house than if she was hanging out washing???? Seriously it is that close AND i know that for myself!!!!

nickytwotimes · 29/04/2008 19:39

IATD, do you only hang about on AIBU threads? Just did a search after reading this thread. Must say, I think YABU.

SquonkTheBeerGuru · 29/04/2008 19:39

So seriously then

WHAT could happen and HOW would it happen?

Go on.

because I don't see that FAQ's children are at any more risk while she potters next door that if she was pegging out washing.

Or is that illegal too?

SmugColditz · 29/04/2008 19:39

At what point do you let them go? At what point do they manage to shake you off and finally get some fun with their friends on their own?

Is it the point at which you get a letter about healthy eating and exercise home from the school nurse?

hatrick · 29/04/2008 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SquonkTheBeerGuru · 29/04/2008 19:40

colditz: done

seeker · 29/04/2008 19:40

Iamthedoctor - OK, so what are the other risks of a 7 year old walking to school on his own - provided there aren no dangerous roads to cross?

FAQ · 29/04/2008 19:40

actually shelley it takes me longer to walk (normal speed) from my washing line in the garden up to my bedroom at the front (where DS3 sleeps), than it does for me to walk from the school playground and up to the bedroom.

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 19:41

Squonk. The woman leaves the baby in the house by itself. It amazes me.

OP posts:
ranting · 29/04/2008 19:41

Yorkshirebirdy, the chances are still statiscally so small that it is not worth living a life in fear about.
My ds was walking home from school with a mate one day (think he was about 9 at the time) when a young bloke pulled up beside them in a car and said 'get in the car'. He ran like the clappers all the way back home (he left his mate there), it turned out that the bloke in the car was his friends cousin. But he had the good sense to peg it.
You have to give them the skills to cope with life, not encourage them to think that there is a paedo on every corner.

kayzisexpecting · 29/04/2008 19:41

One of my friends left her 2 week old DD in the car when she went shopping. It was the first time she had been shopping since having her and she forgot about her(her excuse is being blonde) It was only when I asked about her she remembered.

shelleylou · 29/04/2008 19:41

Ye exactly the school isnt further than your washing line

nobodyputsBBinthecorner · 29/04/2008 19:41

c=if it were me i would be concerned BUT if i had made that decision, it would be because i know my child and other factors such as route etc and amount of ppl, aggree with other posters you need to let kids grow up and gradually is better than all at once, how else will they gain any type of "streetwise" attitude?

also aggree with posters who said anyone can be abducted, man woman or child, because there are bad people in the world very very bad people.

if it where me i would perhaps arrange with the school so that they kno DC was venturing in alone too perhaps highlight them as a sort of priority to be checked in, incase the worst did happen? i walked to school alone from about ten i think and the schoolwas about ten mins away i was fine, and i also think that now its much more common even for younger kids to walk in groups.

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