Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be VERY concerned about unattended 7 year olds?!

329 replies

Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 18:36

I am actually gobsmacked. For once in my life.

I have just been reading another thread and a couple of people have said that they allow their 7 year olds to walk to school on their own WITHOUT making sure that they go in the gates.

HELLO?!!!

DD is 8. There is NO WAY on this earth would I allow her to walk to school on her own!

Worst case scenario:

DD walks to school by herself. I don't see her go in. Some arsehole snatches her. I don't know about it until AFTER school, because the school don't ring me to say she hasn't arrived. Cue police/newspapers/radio/manhunt.

I feel very strongly about this! It's madness!

Fair enough, allow them to walk HOME from school (then you KNOW that they have arrived!), but PLEASE think about what you are doing!

OP posts:
SquonkTheBeerGuru · 29/04/2008 18:38

have you posted your thoughts on the other thread?

hanaflower · 29/04/2008 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyMuck · 29/04/2008 18:39

If you are referring to FAQ, then I believe that she lives next door to the school.

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 18:40

I have posted my thoughts on the posted discussion, yes. But this is a different topic, so started new thread.

OP posts:
TheArmadillo · 29/04/2008 18:40

why didn't you post it on hte thread then instead of starting a new one

Basically you make decisions based on the route, the knowledge of your area, and your child. You also have no idea of these for them.

They have considered these it's their decision to make.

FAQ · 29/04/2008 18:42

god help him once he's settled at the school at the top of the road next year (when he'll be 8 1/2) and I'll let him walk up the hill and across the road (which has a pedestrian crossing and LOTS of other parents also walking that way) then............

hanaflower · 29/04/2008 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 18:42

But there is a HUGE difference to sending 7 year old to shops, when you know they will only be 10 mins, than sending them to school and not KNOWING that they have arrived!

And sorry, living next door is not really an excuse - it only takes a second to snatch a child. Or for child to see a friend on other side of road and dash over there, only to meet oncoming car.

OP posts:
misdee · 29/04/2008 18:43

right ok, lets set things straight

dd1 walks AHEAD to school, not alone, i am following behind, down a very straight road, but she is a couple of hundred metres ahead. i watch her cross with the lollipop lady. Then sometimes i dont see her in the playground (expecially on fridays as she has choir practise) as am busy dealing with dd2 in reception.

but dd1 school has a policy of calling in any absence with a phone call home.

and its a small school. if dd1 wasnt in school one of her friends would ask were dd1 was. (like yesterday when i was on my way to the office as dd1 was off school, all i got about 10times was 'wheres Nicole?')

also its very busy outside the school with members of PTA outside the gates, other small gatherings of parents as well gossiping. even if i dont see dd1 go into the school i get told she has gone in by other parents.

actually its quite a nice community.

seeker · 29/04/2008 18:43

So when Do you let them walk to school on their own?

And when was a child last snatched on the way to school?

I suppose she could also be hit by a meteorite or abducted by aliens or attached by giant killer bees. You need to cover all the bases.

ChasingSquirrels · 29/04/2008 18:43

If I lived in certain houses in our village (ie very near the school, no roads to cross) I would let my reception child work to school on his own if he was happy to without a second thought.
Not any reception child, maybe not even my dc2 when he is in reception, but my current 5.5yo - yes.

silvercrown · 29/04/2008 18:44

I let my kids aged 8 (9 in May) and her sister 10 walk to school but they only have to cross one road (one way street) and another with a lollypop lady and only when they are walking together and only if it's because the 4 year old is off ill like yesterday so she was still asleep come 9am and I didn;t want to wake her up. School is about 10 minutes walk away and it's a busy route with other parents all heading in the same direction. I don't watch them go in because I am usually behind them (when we are all together) so I would notice if they had doubled back. I do call the school thoug at 9am to make sure that they are in safely - not that it would do me much good if they weren't but I only let them walk if I feel I really have to. I used to cycle a mile to school alone but that was back then!

ChasingSquirrels · 29/04/2008 18:44

he would be walking to school not working to school!

LadyMuck · 29/04/2008 18:45

FWIW my school does phone parents if the child is absent and the parents hasn't phoned the school to report them ill. But I guess some schools have a different policy.

CarGirl · 29/04/2008 18:45

in the UK the school is supposed to phone home/contact parents if a child doesn't turn up at school for exactly that reason. How will children ever learn independence if you do not build up to it bit by bit.

Is it just me who thinks by secondary school children should be capable and confident of walking some miles to school on their own rather than these parents who ferry their children everywhere forever?

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 18:45

Hana, DD does go to the shop by herself. I KNOW you have to let them have some independence.

A mum at school let her child walk on his own. He decided that he wasn't going to go into school. Mum only found out when she went to pick him up for detal appointment that she'd forgotten to tell him about. Can you imagine how she felt when she learnt he wasn't there?

OP posts:
pooka · 29/04/2008 18:46

I am planning on letting dd walk some of the way at least on her own when she is ready and able. It may be when she is 7 or it may be when she is 9.

At what age do you think it is appropriate? At 10? 11? Older? The scenario of abduction you have raised could very well happen to older children as much as to a 7 year old.

SquonkTheBeerGuru · 29/04/2008 18:46

I take my 3 year old to nursery at the local school.

When I say take...

I open the front door and she runs off. Ds and I follow. By the time we get to school, she has let herself in, taken her coat off and hung it up and is waiting by the door to nursery for them to let her in.

I wait till she's gone in and come home.

When I pick her up, they see me and let her out. Five minutes later, I find her at home and open the front door for her.

She's 3

FAQ · 29/04/2008 18:46

well I'd like to see him run through the "crash barrier" (sorry can't think of the proper name for it) that goes from our house past the school gate......

And there wouldn't be much chance of him running across the road and being hit by a car - it's always chocoabloc, and he's never yet tried to run onto the road - even as a toddler......I think 6yrs after he started walking I think I can trust him not to be so silly.

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 18:48

And yes, schools SHOULD call parents in unexplained absence. But this isn't always the case.

And ok, yes, 'I' probably walked to school on my own at that age. But that was nearly 28 years ago, and things were ALOT different then!

OP posts:
mrspnut · 29/04/2008 18:49

Most schools have a policy of ringing if a child is absent and they haven't had a phone call or letter to explain why - that's the accepted procedure for absence management now.

But aside from that, what's there to stop you ringing the school yourself at 9:15, just to check that they were marked in at registration. .

My older daughter walked to and from school by herself from about age 9 but then we lived about a mile from the school (but no big roads to cross), and I called the school secretary to check she had got there ok.

ChasingSquirrels · 29/04/2008 18:50

other than traffic (and I do think that depends on the area) what exactly IS different??

misdee · 29/04/2008 18:51

chasingsquirrlas, i agree. i read recently that there hasnt been an increase in stranger abductions in the last 20years.

traffic i do worry about.

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 18:51

FAQ.

Public apology. I have just reread and this seems like a personal attack. Not intended at all.

I just feel that 7 is too young. I wouldn't take the risk, personally.
I should learn to keep my mouth shut. We don't all have the same views of parenting. (Although I still think I am right

OP posts:
pooka · 29/04/2008 18:52

I think with regards to random abductions on the way to school, you are wrong. Things were not that different twenty or thirty years ago. Such crimes happened and still happen incredibly rarely.

I would be more concerned about increased traffic rather than abduction, and that is why I would intend to gradually increase the length of the journey, starting with short stretch of road plus lollipop lady.