Little one is flower girl for someone else's wedding. Expensive!!

[Crosswind22]

So, the dress was bought for me - it was cheap I know but really I don't mind as she will only wear it one day but I did mind that this is a winter occasion and the dress is summer. Anyway, I've had to buy her shoes, tights, a warm cardigan /coat, and now to top it off, I have to do her own hair on the day and buy a headpiece/Clip. Something I thought would be made with matching flowers or even matching material from bridesmaid's dresses.. To be fair, they didn't want her wearing tights or a cover up but sorry, this is a January wedding with photos being taken outside so maybe that's why I'm expected to buy it all? Sorry but everyone I speak to is talking about the faux fur they bought why should my 2-year-old freeze just to look in their eyes, cute?

Am I being unreasonable?

I think maybe a bit unreasonable to buy the extras especially as you wanted them, but they are definitely being unreasonable expecting anyone to be outside in January for any length of time without something warm to wear.
Especially with how long photos can take.

I guess she could have just worn a coat and taken it off for the pics she’s in.

She can wear all those things again, how exciting for her to be a flower girl.

Surely she has shoes, tights, cardigan and coat already? If they don't want to buy them they can't dictate specific ones so I wouldn't have got anything new. So you are being unreasonable to have decided to get all new stuff, and also to moan about the dress not being expensive enough.

Just do her hair with whatever she has already, again if they want something specific they should get it. Otherwise just use normal clips or hair ties or just have it down.

Yanbu I had 2 flower girls at my wedding and I paid for everything. Thats how it should be.

Are tights really that expensive? You can get tights, occasion shoes, and a coat off second hand sites (usually worn once), and then sell them back again. Also, she’s 2yrs old, what could you be doing to her hair that’s going to cost anything apart from a clip? There are so many ways to make this cheap, if not free. Get on to your local buying and selling groups as they often give the stuff away. It sounds like you aren’t very keen on these people.

I think you're being a bit unreasonable, it's lovely that she's been asked to be a flower girl and she'll be so excited.
I agree they should have at least bought the shoes and thought about tights and a cardigan for January but if they haven't specified anything you didn't need to spend a fortune. How hard is it to do a child's hair too, my flower girls just wore theirs down with a hairband

None of that sounds crazy to me - I certainly didn't ask my bridesmaids if they needed me to buy them tights. They probably should buy the hair piece and maybe the shoes but YABU over the tights and coat since they're your choice.

Yes I know can be done cheaply I have thrifted what I could and honestly, her things aren't that expensive! I just thought as part of the bridal party, I wouldn't need to worry about it! And no she's two so I don't tend to buy ivory tights, shoes or cardigans because they don't stay clean so not something I just have! Anyway I just wondered if I was being a hormonal pregnant lady or if I had a leg to stand on! Clearly the former!

All the people saying oh she'll be so excited she's 2 not 5, she won't have a clue what a flower girl is or what's going on! Too young to understand unless nearly 3.

Sounds like you've just got a bee in your bonnet about it.

How much would that really set you back? About £50? It's nice to be included in a wedding party. If you can't stretch to get a few bits then tell them or decline.

my daughter is well dressed and well provided for. But I am almost certain I wouldn’t have clothes suitable for a flower girl. Would apple green tights suit? Would holographic trainers or electric blue shoes suit? Multi coloured sweatshirts? A cardigan covered in strawberries?

Yes, I'd happily put my DC in anything like this if it's what I had. Really don't see the problem with trainers or strawberries etc. Is there some secret anti fruit rule for weddings? 🤔

But either they want ivory stuff so they should pay, or they're not bothered so just use what she has. Really don't get the issue.

The most recent wedding, my youngest DC went in wellies because that's what she wanted to wear. She's a small child, so who cares, they don't have to be mini adults.

If she was attending the wedding as a guest you'd probably be buying a full outfit though. If you were a bridesmaid you'd expect to buy your own tights, bra etc and may well not have something suitable already.

This. You had already agreed to do it it's a lovely opportunity. Don't stress it just enjoy.

To me if you want bridesmaids and flower girls for your wedding then you pay for their clothes and extras, I could only afford 3 so that's how many I had.
It is nice to be included in the wedding party but most if not all expenses should be covered by the bride and groom.

You can make this as cheap or as expensive as you choose.

I meant to say it is nice to be included but not to the point you have to pay so much for the "privilege" especially if you are already paying for travel and a wedding gift imo.

I mean tights, cardy and a clip aren't exactly silly money so I think YABU a bit.

I'm sure eyebrows were raised even as a guest that you let your child wear wellies to a wedding. It would be completely inappropriate as a flower girl to put her in mismatched tights and shoes as a flower girl. They'd think you were insane!

I do think the bride should be paying for all of it.

Probably less than half of that if she shops around on ebay/vinted etc. No point buying brand new if it won't be used much afterwards.

Lol this made me laugh, are you serious?

You'd send your child to a wedding as a flower girl in her normal trainers and a patterned cardigan?

OP could do that if she was purposely trying to make a point but most people would buy white/ivory items to use for this.

Maybe my idea of wedding wear is diffferent from yours. And I’d have been pretty gutted if my flower girl had been accessorised in such a way. (That said I gave her a dress, tights and cardigan, her mum chose gold pumps to go with)