Little one is flower girl for someone else's wedding. Expensive!!

[Crosswind22]

So, the dress was bought for me - it was cheap I know but really I don't mind as she will only wear it one day but I did mind that this is a winter occasion and the dress is summer. Anyway, I've had to buy her shoes, tights, a warm cardigan /coat, and now to top it off, I have to do her own hair on the day and buy a headpiece/Clip. Something I thought would be made with matching flowers or even matching material from bridesmaid's dresses.. To be fair, they didn't want her wearing tights or a cover up but sorry, this is a January wedding with photos being taken outside so maybe that's why I'm expected to buy it all? Sorry but everyone I speak to is talking about the faux fur they bought why should my 2-year-old freeze just to look in their eyes, cute?

Am I being unreasonable?

Okay so while I recognise I'm being unreasonable (Thanks Mumsnet) I have to ask all of you who think I have silver or gold toddler pumps lying around the house for my toddler to wear... I have gotten most of the bits she needs but I can already tell you that her doll will be wearing the shoes after the wedding and they won't be worn again. I was also under the impression, that her hair needed to be perfect (toddler still has baby, unruly hair). It does not need to be perfect!

She currently wears a green winter coat with leaves and frogs on it, purple docs for the weekends, and scruffy pink runners and wellies for during the week at nursery. Not wedding appropriate in my eyes however I wouldn't judge if that's how you dressed your kid at my wedding!

I think I got a bit protective over her and her place in the wedding because it seemed to be brushed off but actually, the chances of her walking down the isle nicely are slim so thankfully the bride hasn't put that much thought into everything that I as her mother needed to!

Not necessarily. Some people deck their toddler girls out like Christmas trees. They’re only missing the tiaras!

My brother and his wife bought a suit and shirt for my then 2.5 year old despite me expressing reservations he was funny about what he wore.

As expected he refused to wear the shirt and jacket, agreed to wear the trousers with a polo shirt and then screamed when I tried to get him to walk down the aisle!

Thankfully the bride was forgiving!

Tights are cheap, surely she can wear shoes she already has and her normal coat

The purple docs seem perfect to me! I wore docs to my own wedding and I also had my normal black wool coat (mostly comes out for funerals) on over my dress (very recent) nobody expects you to buy a special coat. I would buy new tights and if you can afford it a cardigan in either ivory or whatever colour would coordinate with the colours if applicable.

I really don’t understand people asking others to be flower girls / bridesmaids / matron of honour etc and not paying for their outfit / shoes / hair. If you want someone to be part of your day then why should they be out of pocket?! It’s fabulous your DD is a flower girl and a real honour but everything should be arranged for her. I have been married a few times (😂) and each time I have paid for my bridal teams hair, dress, shoes, handbag, make up, hair etc as I want them to be part of my day. They should not be out of pocket in anyway.

I'll never understand brides asking people to be bridesmaids or flower girls then asking them to pay for it! If you want bridesmaids, you pay. I paid for everything for mine. If you can't afford them then fine, don't ask them. That's just rude.

I haven't rtft,but by from Vinted.

We were at a wedding in February, not flower girl but as a day guest so I got a beautiful navy Monsoon dress for £7 and a Next tweed coat with fur trim £6 both off Vinted then just bought a bolero cardigan, tights and a hairclip. Shoes were some cheap silver glitter ones from Matalan I bought for the nativity when she was an angel. They take them off soon as the meal is over anyway. I’ve just sold on the coat and dress for just a few pounds less than I bought them for. Only you will know not everything was brand new

You are being a bit OTT in my opinion ! Tights and a cardigan can be purchased relatively cheaply, or just let her wear a coat when outside between photos. As they aren't too fussed about the colour of shoes, you can pick up a cheap pair from a supermarket or Primark .
Hairdressers are expensive so you doing her hair is fine - only my sister had her hair done when she married (my daughter and I did our own - straighteners and curling wand)