Catering for vegans

[PieandPotatoes]

We have friends who come and stay regularly. One is a vegan. They never bring any food with them. It takes me ages to do the food shopping (checking labels for ingredients). We spend loads on oatmilk, vegan cheese/yoghurt etc and we end up cooking two dishes at mealtimes as my husband refuses to eat anything without meat. I think that they should at least bring some vegan food with them. What do you think?

Why are they visiting so often? You don’t seem to like each other?

I personally wouldn’t want guests to bring anything apart from a bottle of wine. I’d be a bit embarrassed if they brought their own food.

It’s a shame your husband can’t go without meat for a couple of meals (this sounds very unhealthy btw!), otherwise you could just do vegan food. You don’t have to go over the top, beans on toast for lunch, vegetable chilli or cottage pie for dinner (your husband can sprinkle some bacon bits on it if he’s desperate!). There are so many easy and cheap vegan recipes out there.

@Commonsense22 but the vegan obviously eats the falafel then people like your dh eat the meat so I think you've missed the point there! It's irrelevant if the meat eaters like falafel or not as they don't touch it. It's not complicated or to do with cooking styles, it's simple jacket potatoes and stir fries, takes minutes and is really straightforward. A child could do it.

Can't they stay in a hotel? Do they ever host you?

You've missed my point - jacket potatoes and stir fries don't feature in our diet! We eat stews. Well I eat jackets when dh isn't there.

This.
DH was vegan for a while and never had vegan cheese or yoghurt because they're vile.
If a recipe needed cream I would use soya or oatly cream and you can't tell the difference.
Mash with oat milk and vegan butter is tasty.

I would just ask what milk alternatives they use if any and buy a carton of that and maybe some vegan snacks like biscuits and nuts (lots of normal crisps are vegan!) but otherwise it's just meals.
Breakfast and lunch type stuff is quite easy, salads, hummus, bread, fruit etc
You don't need to buy special breakfast cereal, lots of regular cereal is vegan.

@Commonsense22 but what's your diet got to do with the op? Most people do eat basic simple meals for a few days so I was trying to help the op. The fact you or your dh don't eat stir fry is irrelevant here.

@Commonsense22 but just because you don't eat something doesn't make @khaitai &@bakewellbride very sensible replies any less valid.
Shock horror not everyone eats the same!!!
Edited to include Bakewell :)

Just send them a message which says could you please bring along the type of milk and vegan cheese you eat plus a bag of pasta which is acceptable.

I think dietary requirements scare some people and they go down crazy rabbit holes.
It's not difficult to cook 1 meal and cook some meat off on the side though. Things like a coconut or tomato based curry, chickpea and tomato stew with chicken thighs in the slow cooker for meat eaters or a mushroom stroganoff (if you soak dried mushrooms then blitz with silken tofu makes a awesome mushroom sauce) with fresh steak strips fried off.

I'm gluten free and have some friends go into panic mode saying nothing I cook is gluten free when in reality most things are! I do tend to bring along rice noodles or gf pasta to make their life easier and will always say don't bother getting me gf bread or anything tastes like sawdust!

Surely you eat more variety than stews.
I told my daughter I intended cooking a vegan casserole with cheesy herb dumplings and she was horrified at mixing all the veg in gravy, even though she loves them separately. Liked the sound of the dumplings, but as I told her, can't have one without the other.

Roasted veg and couscous, salad, hummus, flat bread and then have lamb or chicken with it for the meat eaters.

This is one of those quintessential MN threads where the problem isn't what's written in the OP; the problem is that

1. the OP refuses to use her words to make a perfectly normal request, "can you bring XYZ vegan food please"

2. the OP doesn't seem to like her friends but nevertheless invites them for frequent overnight stays

@gannett ⭐ exactly
And the op stops replying after page one

You were responding to me specifically and I was pointing out on this thread that so many of these threads seem to assume everyone eats and cooks curries, chilies and stir fries when really those are not staples for everyone depending on cultural background and habit and dietary restrictions. If I had vegan guests for 3 days I would majorly struggle.
One day? I cook 2 meals, not a problem.

Everytime people say easy! Just make a curry. Well they are not in my repertoire and if they were, I'd still have to cook seperate for my family. I do realise many people in the UK cook with pasta, jackets, stir fries and curries often.

I doubt OP is inviting them, I'm guessing they just tell her when they are coming.

Cheeky fucker pisstakers most likely.

Then that's a subset of problem number one ie she refuses to use her words to say no (and indeed of problem number two ie why is she friends with these awful people she doesn't like).

I haven't yet read the other replies but my immediate reaction is yes - if they come regularly then they should help you out by bringing at least some of their own vegan food & drink.
If I were you I'd buy pre-cooked vegan meals - the best quality I could afford. It would save much fannying around in the supermarket - after you've chucked a few cartons of oat milk in the trolley. Might even save money by cutting back on lots of different ingredients.
I hope these friends go to a similar amount of trouble and expense to accommodate your & your husband's dietary preferences as and when.

Oat milk isn’t exactly budget busting and can be purchased on offer and stored in a cupboard. Speak up and ask them to bring any specific preferences.

Easy meals that can be had without meat for vegans:

Curry - chickpea or chicken with rice.
Fajitas veg or meat and put it all out on the table, fill your own - all fine except sour cream and cheese.
Homemade flatbreads (water, flour and a pinch of salt) with hummus, harissa roast chickpeas, salad and optional meat.
Three bean chilli with optional steak.
Ramen with veg stock and optional meat.
Singapore noodles with optional chicken.
Sunday roast meat and a roast cauliflower plus sides.

I've never tasted either. I find silken tofu so versatile from a quiche base to dips and to have with fruit instead of yoghurt.

I made two blocks of firm tofu from beans yesterday, twice weekly chore that it is. Haven't tried making my own silken.

@Commonsense22 surely you don't only eat stews all year round?!

A stew is not hard to alter to be vegan though - just substitute the meat for veg and pulses.

I am really surprised by the number of people thinking the vegan guests should bring their own food though. Beyond checking which dairy substitute they prefer (not brand, just whether they'd rather oat/soy/almond based), it is not difficult or complicated to prepare a couple of evening meals without meat, dairy or eggs. I would be embarrassed to ask people to bring their own food.

@BuzzieLittleBee I agree, apart from not asking brand I wouldn't eat Vitalite spread ,Richmond vegan anything or Applewood vegan cheese .
What's the point of buying if not going to be eaten by anyone

I think there’s a balance to be had here. If you have invited friend over to stay with you or for a meal then you should cater for everyone and not exclude them - it’s really awful to be invited to someone’s for dinner and then be told ‘but we’re not cooking for you as you are too difficult/ we don’t like what you eat so bring your own’. And then you sit there with your pack up dinner whilst everyone else enjoys the food together.

I note a PP suggested not cooking vegan meals and providing just basics- that is so unwelcoming! Can you imagine doing that to someone for allergy or religious reasons? A simple pasta, risotto, pizzas or curry arent difficult or expensive to make - you don’t need to get all the expensive alternatives but you should at least be providing a simple and welcoming evening meal for everyone to enjoy together - as the point of meals is to share and experience it together.

you don’t need to provide all the alternative milks etc - they can bring that themselves (as if anything it’s really wasteful for t or to buy a whole carton of milk which won’t be finished). But you do need to include them in meals.
if you don’t want to cook for your vegan friends then just don’t host them - or suggest that you eat out or get a takeaway.

there needs to be respect both ways - and your friends need to not lecture you on what you eat in your home - that’s not okay and extremely rude if you are going to effort to host them.

Yes we do? It's common for DH's family and I like them.
They nearly all use slow-cooked meat as the base. I can make a vegan stew but that's a completely seperate recipe.

Of course it's possible to cater for vegans. I maintain though that it's not just about easily adapting what one eats already. It's really not easy at all.

Fortunately it's not a common problem but on the rare occasions I've had to cater for vegans it's been stressful. Most of all because you want your guests to enjoy nice food and if you're cooking out of your comfort zone it's hard to guarantee that.

Exactly this - I'm not a confident cook at the best of times and I find it stressful catering for guests anyway without the added pressure of ensuring food is vegan friendly. The vegan guest has, on occasions, asked to see the tin/packet to make sure it is suitable and I panic that I have missed a non vegan ingredient.

I wouldn't count stews as "nice food" when eaten for every meal, meat or no meat. They're a bit easy really. Cut everything up and leave in a slow cooker.
What do you order in a restaurant?

My greatest fear of ending up in an old folks home is the food. Stews and mince is the staple and they don't even use salt in cooking due to some people's dietary requirements, let alone cook vegan.

@PieandPotatoes honestly, just tell them not to come, it all sounds stressful and unpleasant, and you don't seem like you like these people. Or if they must come, eat out or get takeaway instead so you don't have to cook for anyone.