At which age were you the ‘Real you’ the most?

[Thenversusnow]

I was reading an interview with one of my favourite authors, she often writes about the teenage years and the intensity of female friendships at that age. She said she enjoys writing about this, because of all the stages she’s been through…child, teen, young career woman, mother and so on…she still feels that those teens years and the person she was then is the closest to the real her. I feel the same about myself.
Hope this makes sense

At what age/stage in your life were you the realest you?

20s

Today. Age 65.

Now, age 50

Now! More experience, more wisdom. Past me seems like an idiot in so many ways.

Next year

I'm not sure. Either 19 and carefree or right now as the mum to young children, both feel very much like the 'real' me but my circumstances were very different.

40s

Now I think at 44.

Now! Put up with too much shit in the past. Don’t care anymore. Perimenopausal most likely. It’s most liberating 🙂

Now - late 50's

Probably mostly more myself now but I'm still not 100% there

Right now, mid 40’s. I am going to move ahead with confidence because I know I’m honestly me. No point in trying to be someone I am not. I
know what makes me happy and what doesn’t. I feel like I understand the world so much better now.

13 and 57
13... falling in love for the first time, having friends and quite a lot of independence (as we did back then!) the 1980s beckoning with the best music... that was the real me emerging.

And now, when I'm menopausal, can't be doing with anyone's crap, happy in my own rapidly wrinklign skin, knowing that what matters most is my family. Happy to give myself permission to sack off social events that I don't want to attend, having my own hobbies, interests... yeah now!

the last year or so, but colleagues are not keen when you showcase what they moan about vs what they do, many times i got moaned at for holding up the team in one way or another, soon as i highlight the same ones moaning at me for it then its a whole different story,

many times people wanted the real me rather than the yes me, well they had the real me and yea, overall i still got on with everyone but it was puzzling at times

Maybe 25-35?

I was out of education so not reliant on living at home and not yet a parent so had no one relying on me. I could just "be". I enjoyed the freedom.

17 or mid-40s

19-23 when I was 400 miles away from home at uni.

I think now, in my 30s.
I wasn't brave enough as a kid to be anything other than whatever people expected me to be. In my teens I was too busy showing my Mum how much I wasn't like her that I didn't have time to really find myself.
In my 20s I had my PFB and struggling with keeping exDH happy in the hopes that he wouldn't run off with someone else again.
I'm now happily content. Remarried, 3 kids, lovely home that I take pride in and working on a new career move for next year that I put off for years due to depression/anxiety/lack of support.

From early 30s onwards. I got rid of a few people out of my life and then felt I could just be myself in every part of my life. Definitely not my younger teenage years, everything was so false.

Probably now in middle age — I think I’ve been trying to strip away layers of gendered conditioning and adaptive behaviours from my upbringing.

Has to be the time when you’re the most free, surely, to be uncompromised. I can pinpoint mine to either age 20, living abroad alone, or age 24-26 living the big city, big fun, exuberant lifestyle I saw in books, no mean feat from an unconfident teen to that.

30s and early 40s, when my DC were little. I really loved having children, I’d had years of partying and didn’t find it hard to give that up and be at home with my babies. I had a challenging job, but part time, had friends with young DC so did have a social life, I was dancing 3 times a week ( hobby) and everything balanced nicely. I found being a mother came very easily, and I was able to enjoy it. The real me has a baby on each hip, singing and dancing all the way!

NOW IS THE REAL ME.

Is the author confusing having less accountability during teenage years as the real you? Those friendships when you are thrown together by a common institutional experience (school or club etc) and a whole lot of free time.

We were all idiotic as kids.

Oh, I feel the same about my teenage years! (At the same time I woudn't want to go back, not even for a minute!). I feel very loyal to that teen I was.