At which age were you the ‘Real you’ the most?

[Thenversusnow]

I was reading an interview with one of my favourite authors, she often writes about the teenage years and the intensity of female friendships at that age. She said she enjoys writing about this, because of all the stages she’s been through…child, teen, young career woman, mother and so on…she still feels that those teens years and the person she was then is the closest to the real her. I feel the same about myself.
Hope this makes sense

At what age/stage in your life were you the realest you?

@Mysticguru What were you like between 19-52? What’s changed now do you think?

In those you refer to decades I complied with the societal norm. Marriage, job, house, kids etc. "trapped" by the status quo.

Always, apart from most of my 20 year marriage.

I think that as children we adopt behaviours to survive our childhood, these behaviours become habitual.
They become ingrained in our subconscious.
Because these behaviours are created, we create a persona that can survive and thrive in the family environment or school, or the world as we see it through our inner child's eyes.
As children we believe anything and everything our elders tell us whether truth or not. All of which gets added to the mix and more layers get added to the created persona. This persona or personality becomes more real in our egoic minds. We actually believe it is who we are. But it is still illusory, it has been created, programmed and conditioned over the informative years. It is not your essence.
Apart from a rebellious time in our two's/three's or teenage years we are generally compliant within the family.
This contracted energy lasts until we escape from the unreality we created. Subconsciously we are trapped in the created identity state permanently, this manifests itself in a myriad of behaviours, all of which have been handed down.
The spiritual guidance offered by the sages over the centuries asks you to look at this created persona and see if it is the Truth of who you are.
What came before the need to survive, before the programming and conditioning? Was it innocence, openness, peace, calmness, happiness, contentment and Love?
Look, find out.

All of them as all of them were the real me at that time. Circumstance and therefore i/my reactions change. Sounds like nostalgia for a carefree time?

@Pleasegodgotosleep
Yes. we all believed that it was real at that moment in time. It isn't now though, yet your subconscious behaviours manifest today from the past.

About 20-27.

And then again about 36-39.

I think we’re our ‘true selves’ when we’re least stressed / pressured and so are able to explore and display our full personalities.

Now, mid 30s. I think it's the emotional presence demanded by having small children

Early 20s then from 50 onwards. It's great getting older in that regard!

Before 10, and after 30.

25-35. Now 43 and I've become a bit corporate and dull. Back then I was more of an activist and did loads of cool work I really enjoyed. I'd like to find my way back to her!

@Butteredtoast55 What changed after 50?

@EsmeSusanOgg What happened in between

59 but relate to SO much of this post! 🙂

Mid twenties in terms of having the freedom to explore and adventure, being able to travel and have fun and feeling like I had all the time in the world. I loved all the trips and the friendships and the nights out, I moved around so much and met so many people. It was a really happy time.

Then early 30’s - first long term healthy relationship, met important milestones I had for myself, felt more settled and grounded for the first time. Sense of authenticity in self and relationships. A more ‘content’ kind of happy than my frenetic 20’s.

I do think there is a special intensity of the teenage years though that is impossible to replicate and often nostalgic. I don’t miss the chaos of that time personally, but I think that was the first time I really connected with my emotions and formed deep connections with other people.

I think we can continuously develop and grow into ourselves, but some environments and people really bring out the best in us - and vice versa!

The teenage years, starting to realise I could be someone other than who my family and small village allowed, and feeling the absolute thrill of all that potential... books as the gateway to so many other worlds and other lives out there... and of course, all heightened by hormones... 😁

And then going to Uni - I still get an intense buzz when I visit my old college town because that was when I started really pulling away from my controlling parents. Walking the street knowing that nobody knew where I was - it was just me in the world, responsible for myself... (yes, this was pre-mobile phones, and I feel sorry that we'll not have that state of innocence again). I've travelled the world since then, but that's where it started.

And now, post-meno, being able to blow out societal expectations of women as sweet and supportive and acceptable... delving down into the essential self as the rest of my life's mission...

All good! 🙂

@Compash

Love the last paragraph of your post

Bullying (certainly high school). Being ND with no help in school/ uni did not help. Navigating teens/ puberty/ early relationships and friendships. It was hard. I became more me as I got towards my late 20s. Started trusting my gut a bit more, started taking a bit less shot. But not till.my 30s (now 40s) that I really felt like I was able to be me - without there being some issue.

I think I have developed in confidence, was really successful in my career, my children were safely through teenage years and becoming the lovely adults they are today and I had more time for me. I realised I could say no and not accept things that made me unhappy.