Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

At which age were you the ‘Real you’ the most?

119 replies

Thenversusnow · 02/12/2024 22:38

I was reading an interview with one of my favourite authors, she often writes about the teenage years and the intensity of female friendships at that age. She said she enjoys writing about this, because of all the stages she’s been through…child, teen, young career woman, mother and so on…she still feels that those teens years and the person she was then is the closest to the real her. I feel the same about myself.
Hope this makes sense

At what age/stage in your life were you the realest you?

OP posts:
EveryDayisFriday · 02/12/2024 23:27

I don't understand the question, I've always been the real me?

ZiggyZowie · 02/12/2024 23:28

15

Ohyeahwaitaminute · 02/12/2024 23:28

Early to mid 20s. Lost myself for too many years. Trying to channel my 20s again… more the mindset than my physical attributes 🤣

Thedogscollar · 02/12/2024 23:33

Probably before aged 10/11.
Then CSA took over.

SilenceInside · 02/12/2024 23:34

EveryDayisFriday · 02/12/2024 23:27

I don't understand the question, I've always been the real me?

Was about to post exactly this! Me too @EveryDayisFriday .

OAPapparently · 02/12/2024 23:35

Aged 14 - 18. I loved school, loved my friends, felt really happy in myself (despite home life being awful) and felt hopeful for the future. As soon as I hit adulthood I developed a lot of serious health problems and my hopes and dreams went up in smoke and my Life became weighed down with harsh realities.

Moveoverdarlin · 02/12/2024 23:37

Mid twenties, but teen years were also fantastic. It’s encouraging to read so many people say 55,65 etc because at the age of 44 I feel completely beaten by my children and family life. I couldn’t be further away from my old, real, fun self.

Letloosethecannons · 02/12/2024 23:39

Work in progress, but the download is close to completion.

It’s been a most surprising journey of self discovery, there have been parts of me lurking I hadn’t learned to access yet, parts I didn’t know I could ever own. Life is full so unpredictable sometimes.

XmasNameChangeFail · 02/12/2024 23:39

Now, in my 40s. Loved my teens, but I was trying in lots of different identities. I wasn’t my real self at all.

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/12/2024 23:40

Now, I think, at 60. Haven’t got time to waste pretending about anything.

AliasGrace47 · 02/12/2024 23:41

Thenversusnow · 02/12/2024 22:38

I was reading an interview with one of my favourite authors, she often writes about the teenage years and the intensity of female friendships at that age. She said she enjoys writing about this, because of all the stages she’s been through…child, teen, young career woman, mother and so on…she still feels that those teens years and the person she was then is the closest to the real her. I feel the same about myself.
Hope this makes sense

At what age/stage in your life were you the realest you?

Who is your fave author? She sounds interesting..

Fifthtimelucky · 02/12/2024 23:42

Either when I was in my late 30s/early 40s and had two young children or now (early 60s).

What the two ages have in common is that they didn't involve me working. I enjoyed work, but I often felt I had to "perform" and to impress people.

Similarly, when I was younger (especially when I was in my teens/twenties) I was much too concerned with what other people thought of me to be confident being the real me.

suki1964 · 02/12/2024 23:44

Now , aged 60

DramaAlpaca · 03/12/2024 00:02

Now, aged 60. I'm totally myself, don't have to put on an act in any way. I know my own mind and I go for what I want. Being postmenopausal has been really freeing for me, I don't take any nonsense and I feel really good in my own skin.

Oh god, that sounds really wanky doesn't it? It's true, though Grin

Disturbia81 · 03/12/2024 00:34

Each year I feel more me.

lonelyweather · 03/12/2024 00:44

So interesting to hear people say they felt like themselves as a teen. I felt the total opposite - confused, alienated, uncomfortable in my own skin. I have never been able to understand the appeal of coming of age stories: I think of teen years as hellish and don’t want to reimagine them, even in fiction! But now maybe I understand why they’re so popular ..!

anyway, for me it was late 20s/ early 30s, or perhaps now. Am hopeful for more of the real me in the future.

XWKD · 03/12/2024 01:15

Either teens or 50s.

Frenchie01 · 03/12/2024 01:20

I'm not so sure if we have a "real self" as such. I read somewhere once that during our lifetime we lead lots of different lives and each one requires a different version of ourselves. It obviously means change and different life stages but something about that really resonated with me.

Meadowfinch · 03/12/2024 01:26

Now.

I have my dc, my career, my friends, my house. My finances are stable, No more time or angst wasted trying to understand a man's behaviour,

Most days are a pleasure. I get loads done. My dc is happy, settled. I feel powerful. This is how life is meant to work. 🤗

I intend to enjoy every minute until something throws a spanner in the works

Christmasmorale · 03/12/2024 01:38

22-25. I had responsibilities but I still had an excess of energy outside of work to help causes I cared about, see my friends lots and just laugh all the time. I focused on my strengths and the strengths of others and laughed about my flaws/ didn’t take myself seriously.

Now I feel anxious and beaten by life, as though I’m always moving from one crisis to the next. I’ve lost my zest for life and love of people.

HPandthelastwish · 03/12/2024 01:48

I guess in your teen / early 20s you are you and use it as a baseline to compare to as generally we only have to think of ourselves, can have hobbies and friends solely based around us and available finances.

Once you have a partner / children everything takes into account them, hobbies are what you can do around the children. How you decorate or where you go on holiday takes into account your partner's feelings too etc. I wouldn't do the same hobbies as a teen as after I had DD as they were risky (outward bound rather than drugs) but I developed new ones to include DD.

Now she's heading into her later teens I'm finding I have time to find the 'real' me again and take time to do stuff purely for my own enjoyment.

potatocrates · 03/12/2024 01:49

24 and 41.

Mountainpika · 03/12/2024 05:36

7-10 was the Real Me.
Been through all sorts of stages since, teenager, student, teacher, wife, mother. And now at 77 I'm back to the Me I was 70 yeas ago, but with the experience of the other Mes.

Zanatdy · 03/12/2024 06:22

Definitely as i’ve got older. I’m 48 soon, and feel I am the real me. Teenage and young 20’s, definitely not

KayVess · 03/12/2024 06:28

I’ve been the real me since about 25. Before that I was kid me, then hiding from the world teen me, then in a bad relationship me. Then I got out of all that, said fuck it, threw away the stuff I was holding onto I didn’t like, and just became me.

Been just me ever since and met my husband as just me and he loves me as I am.