Have you made sexual innuendos in the work place?

[LucieChardon]

So the BBC reported that GregG said: "In over 20 years of television, can you imagine how many women, female contestants on MasterChef, have made sexual remarks or sexual innuendo - can you imagine?"

Implying that many women also make sexual remarks or innuendos, in a professional environment. (His whole statement is doubling down that he's an obscene misogynist.)

I'm curious to know how true this is. I mean, with my own DH, joking with close friends, I might make a pun or a joke. Never with acquaintances, never with colleagues. What about you?

I find it hard to believe that there are many women who behave very differently from me. I think women are socialised to be generally less sexually aggressive.

YABU = I do make sexual remarks in the work place
YANBU = I do not make sexual remarks in the work place

Never done it at work ,if for no other reason that some men think if you so much as smile at them then you are gagging for it!
You can only make lewd comments from a position of safety.

This exactly. I’d be very concerned about unwelcome advances if I did.

Not now no way. When I first started in the workplace about 20 years ago there was a bit more “banter” but sexual innuendo was between women who were broadly friends so more mates banter. The men wouldn’t do it to the women.

30 odd years ago, yes. Different times. It was very much a give as good as you get environment. I do remember American colleagues being very shocked by what was acceptable. However..... There was a line, even then. No inappropriate touching, nothing deeply personal or rude, just general banter. It's a bit of a minefield, as illustrated now, that one person's banter, is another person's distress.

Yes I have, I think. I mean, I've made jokes of a vaguely sexual nature, though never flirted with anyone or come on to anyone, so if that counts, yes.

I've been fortunate to work in a couple of places with a relatively relaxed atmosphere and people who enjoy being with each other, and so have felt able to joke in that way. But maybe I am misunderstanding what is meant by sexual innuendo.

I haven’t made any, but I did report a female supervisor for nonstop sexual innuendos towards a couple of young male interns. She would say in staff meetings that one was a “six minute man” and he needed to up his game because the other intern was a “sixteen minute man” and how they should keep their desks clear in case she wanted to “sit on them” to discuss their performance. She walked by one’s desk when he was on the phone with a client and be like “rar a voice like that can make me do dangerous things” (my desk was next to one of them). She’d also do things like adjust their clothing before a big meeting with the higher ups. It was really creepy.

I find sexual innuendo really childish. People can be offended by it, people can be embarrassed by it.
So I don't use sexual innuendo at all.

If people see the need to use it then surely it should be used amongst people you know very well and in a social setting and not in a workplace where the expectation should be for people to be civilised, polite and responsible and adult.

I've never made any remarks of that nature (and never would), but I have witnessed/heard women making sexual jokes and/or making inappropriate remarks. For example - 'he's got a nice arse' said in a very loud voice. I reported that and was more or less told to stop being a prude, it was just a joke.

No. I'm very unattractive so anything that might be perceived as an attempt to flirt would make me look pathetic and desperate. For that reason, probably, I have never been on the receiving end of any sexualised banter; I've never been on (most) men's radar as a sexual entity.

Apart from the odd ‘blue’ pun I have never made sexual remarks or innuendos nor known women who’ve done this especially to make others feel uncomfortable

I work somewhere with a fairly relaxed environment. There is a running joke that of HR were a flu on our walls we would all be fired. The women are as bad as the men.

But I will say even through I live in England I am not English and a large proportion of the staff in my work are not either so cultural differences may play a role here.

No. There was always a certain type of man that needed no encouragement to be a sleaze. Most places I've worked had them, the ones that make your skin crawl. I had a boss who used to jam the copier so that I would have to bend over to fix it and he could have a good ogle. 🤮 Same place had another bloke that used to take a porn break in the loos every morning.

The only time I've come across women making innuendos in the workplace was when they were after snagging one of the men or wanted something else. Usually always a power imbalance in these instances. These women were usually arch manipulators though, the ones that didn't really have any female friends.

Firstly no I don't make sexual jokes at work. And secondly, there's a difference between women making silly, inappropriate jokes between each other and someone making a sexual "joke" towards someone of the opposite sex (particularly if they're more junior). If you're making someone feel uncomfortable or embarrassed then you're a dick. No excuse.

@LucieChardon I voted AIBU because your question is disingenuous. No - I don't recall ever making innuendos in the workplace, but I've certainly heard as many innuendos from women as from men - not many these days, but go back a decade or two when there was more "lad and ladette" culture, it was more common.

How old are you?

No because I'm not a twat

I used to work in a factory with a female work floor.
The sexual innuendo and frankly abuse that the engineers had to put up with when they went to repair machines, wouldn't and isn't put up with today.
The junior engineers had to put up with worse. (including being pants).
So the power imbalance isn't just one way.

@LucieChardon years ago it was more ‘normal’. In my first workplace I had make male and female colleagues and there was a lot of innuendo and banter, which I sometimes took part in. Now, looking back, I can see some of the blokes MAY have been predatory if the women had let them. As others have said, responding in the same vein would be taken as encouragement by some. In the last 15 years? No. But also, my first role was in a different environment. In my last but one role, it was an office where people sometimes popped by others’ desks to chat and we were a big close-knit team which meant there was some gossip/relationships and still some (sexist) banter but we gave as good as we got. More recently, no, even when full time in the office, a much more focused environment and clearer boundaries. Current employer simply would not tolerate anything of any kind like this; work place policies are crystal clear and would be enforced, which is reassuring. So I guess I’ve seen it all over the years and I’ve seen progress, too.

I'm not convinced this is just a sex thing to be honest. Some people just turn everything into an innuendo, both men and women. Some people just turn everything into an Ooh er Mrs moment and yes, I can well imagine a few female contestants have made the odd questionable remark. In fact I'm willing to be you will not need to spend long on YouTube finding the evidence. The difference here is it's high profile and the media always seek out to put these people on pedestals then dig into their past looking for some sort of dirt on them. We see it all the time.

30 years ago, yes. Mutual mild flirtatious banter among colleagues was pretty common. In the last 20 years, no.

I used to work in a factory with a female work floor.
The sexual innuendo and frankly abuse that the engineers had to put up with when they went to repair machines, wouldn't and isn't put up with today.
The junior engineers had to put up with worse. (including being pants).
So the power imbalance isn't just one way.

Totally agree. Although in the case of Gregg Wallace he's trying to compare his sexual jokes to those of female contestants, which is clearly not the same. The power imbalance is pretty stark when you're the MasterChef judge.

My office has the off sex joke, never in a flirty way or towards a specific individual. More just a laugh when a funny subject or turn of phrase comes up. It’s a jokey, friendly office.

I think gregg wallace is guilty, mainly because sexual abuse is rife through out the entertainment industry and many people (men and women) just ignore what goes on around them.

I do, all the time. I work in an office with men and women and most things are an innuendo.
The only exception are when two different colleagues are in. The first one is a woman who made it clear quite quickly that she hates that sort of joke, so we don't do it when she's in.
The other is a creepy bloke who takes jokey innuendos too far, always aims it at a certain person, and is just quite pervy.
A bit like Greg(g) from the sounds of it.

Yes, when I started in my career in a very male dominated sector 30 years ago. Sexualised conversation was frequent. Although I wouldn't have initiated it, it was normalised and there was an element of fitting in.

But work environments have changed enormously since then, for the better.

I think it is very disingenuous of Wallace to say that over 4000 contestants and there have only been 13 complaints in 20 years. Firstly, the power dynamic is such that many contestants wouldn't want to complain, or think it's not worth their while, or even know who to complain to. Secondly, if I had been managing someone who had been getting complaints of sexual harassment on average of one every 18 months over a period of 20 years they would have been shown the door years ago.

Yes I did. The whole team did, this was around 10 years or so ago in an office. We'd all worked together a long time so knew each other well and knew nobody took offence. I don't in my current team. People move around more so never know who will be offended.