To have mega mum guilt

[Crouchingdragonhiddentiger]

…over not doing elf on the shelf?!

I’ve seen so many Facebook and instagram posts tonight of this huge set ups - balloons, sweets, gifts and the elves, all making this huge thing on 1st December.

I’ve bought my 6 year old DS an advent calendar from Aldi and that’s it! I feel so tight now.

We are going round to a friends house tomorrow, who does it for her son, I have no idea what to say if mine starts asking why we don’t - because most parents seem to say “the elves won’t come if you’ve been naughty” I don’t want him to think he has been or doesn’t deserve it in some way.

The branded elf is £20, so not cheap, unless you’re out of touch how the average family has to budget in December, and nothing is simple at Christmastime when your other tasks include saving up for a buying gifts for the whole family, organising visitors, preparing house for visitors, decorating house and tree, wrapping presents, nativity plays, school events, work events, organising the food shop, cooking Christmas dinner, cleaning up, sorting what to do with the kids for 2 weeks off school while you juggle work and cooking and laundry and cleaning and homework the same time.

And the when the kids are finally asleep and you get done with your evening chores and you get to crash on the sofa or turn in for an early night … nope, every single night you have to remember to also sort out the elf.

It’s so simple.

A lot of people just do it to upload photos on social media, honestly. I've never done it and my children are fine.

Also, I don’t find it a very nice looking toy if I’m honest. It’s not what I’d like an elf to look like.

Jellycat do quite a cute one ( Letty) though it’s even less convincing sadly.

Elf on the shelf is a little obnoxious prick and ive delegated him to dh for the last two years.

I reluctantly do elf on a shelf but sometimes I do have fun with it. My children are excited every single morning in December to see what he has done the night before.

I also do Christmas Eve boxes and matching pyjamas. I don't show off or brag about this on social media I do this for my children. They don't need it but I want to do it for them it's part of our traditions and the Christmas Eve boxes are small containing hot chocolate a mug and some craft activities for that morning.

I don't see how these traditions are any different from other traditions families have like going to a certain relatives home every year for Christmas or special Christmas Eve night story time traditions. I think people who are negative about this are the ones who don't have the time or energy to bother with it which is fair enough but we all do what we can for our children to make them happy so why be so hateful.

If it's all so a waste of money and silly then why tell your children about Santa? Why participate in buying presents for your children and why celebrate Christmas then?

Choosing to beat yourself up for not going along with a crude marketing ploy from a self- published book published in 2005, complete with elf doll, then popularised by parents competing to put their elf doll in complicated poses on sm, makes about as much sense as howling with rage and despair because your fiancé didn’t spend three months’ salary on your engagement ring (similarly successful marketing campaign by de Beers now thought to be ‘tradition’).

Don't do it! I succumbed when my now teenagers were about 8 years old. Since then I have had another child so have at least another 4 years of the Elf!! It's a pain trying to remember to do something "cheeky" and "funny" with it. Invariably I forget and end up moving it to another room for youngest child to "find" in the morning!!

I don't post on Facebook or Instagram with its antics though, they would be SO boring!!

Oooh goody, a thread naysaying the bloody elf.

Now thankfully mine were all too old for believing by the time the elf really took hold...but that hasn't stopped it really annoying me anyway.

As if there isn't enough pressure on parents at Christmas without feeling the obligation to join in with the elf as well.

The elf, Christmas Eve boxes and matching Christmas pyjamas can all get in the sea.

because most parents seem to say “the elves won’t come if you’ve been naughty” I don’t want him to think he has been or doesn’t deserve it in some way

That’s exactly wrong. The elves only have to come if you are naughty.

Anyway, it’s all bullshit. If your kid doesn’t care, why do you?

Be grateful you don't have an elf - DH (who isn't British) took one offered on our village WhatsApp group, not realising that it was anything more than a creepy cute toy. DS was overjoyed that we had one, and couldn't wait for it to start misbehaving, so now we've been sucked into this nonsense for the next 5 years!

There's nothing like being tucked up in bed, drifting happily off to sleep, only to realise that you've forgotten to set up the fecking elf and have to haul yourself out of bed to Google ideas and set it up.

Thankfully DD was frightened of the Elf they had in school so I escaped it!
Just tell them don't like the Elf? He's a tattle tale.

You don’t need to sign up to everything just because it’s all over social media.

elf on the shelf
matching pjs
Xmas Eve boxes

as long as your kids are happy and healthy you don’t need to go above and beyond with everything.

If it helps, life is very chaotic atm and I just realised last night what day it actually is and that we had no advent calendar for DD.

OH did a mad rush to the shop very early this morning.

The elf doesn't come in our house because they already know DD is good. Even when she misbehaves, she's still a good person.

This!
Say you set an elf trap and it caught him! 🤣

Give your head a wobble.
You really think you’re depriving your child by not participating in a “creepy slightly malevolent alien entity is watching your every move” dystopian fantasy?
Wise up.

That is because the only people who are posting about elf on the shelf are the ones doing it. Most people don’t do it, but they don’t post pictures of shelves without elves. I only know one person who does it in real life and they regret starting it.

That’s a good idea — fight the creepy elf thing by posting on SM throughout December photos of elfless shelves full of tins of beans or books.

I think parents are perhaps wising up to what a pain the arse having to do the elf is.
It's 10 o'clock and I haven't seen a single elf post on Facebook yet. This is in contrast to previous years when the staged scenarios were rife.

"Are we doing the elf this year?"
"Ugh no."

Someone I know was selling the box and balloons "I'm back!" package on there yesterday, trying to get rid of them last minutey.

Maybe the elf has had its day?

To add...I only do FB as social media because I can't hack too much of it. There may be loads of elf posts on other platforms.
Also, my peers don't tend to have young children any more.

So maybe I'm talking pish.

It isn’t my job to facilitate your family’s tradition, and I am not going to lie to my own child in order to insulate yours. It is a marketing ploy invented 20 years ago and the kits are sold in shops!

Why would it have to be a branded one? I saw them in Poundland…

From a parent who did it, you'll be glad in a few years time when everyone is all out of idea and deeply regretting it lol

This. Why do so many people get taken in by these hollow illusions, jeez. Stop giving yourself more work to do people.