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Original poster

To have mega mum guilt

138 replies

Crouchingdragonhiddentiger · 30/11/2024 22:58

…over not doing elf on the shelf?!

I’ve seen so many Facebook and instagram posts tonight of this huge set ups - balloons, sweets, gifts and the elves, all making this huge thing on 1st December.

I’ve bought my 6 year old DS an advent calendar from Aldi and that’s it! I feel so tight now.

We are going round to a friends house tomorrow, who does it for her son, I have no idea what to say if mine starts asking why we don’t - because most parents seem to say “the elves won’t come if you’ve been naughty” I don’t want him to think he has been or doesn’t deserve it in some way.

OP posts:
Jimmyneutronsforehead · 30/11/2024 23:45

Labraradabrador · 30/11/2024 23:38

I was told off in a car park today for telling my child (asking why we don’t have a naughty elf) that we don’t do that tradition by a mother clutching dc ears exclaiming ‘she still believes!’ My first instinct was ‘believes in what?’ - it is a marketing ploy invented 20 years ago, not some sort of sacred holiday tradition passed down through the ages!

i imagine it would be a bit of fun the first year, but by years 5,6,7 (or longer depending on how many kids) it would get reeaaally tedious. I also agree with others that the core aspects of the story are a bit creepy, and not something I really want to embrace.

I don't know about you but almost every brick and mortar general shop around here sells elves and their costumes and props and unless those parents keep their kids shut in, I don't understand how they can think that their children haven't put 2 and 2 together. It's not hidden, its the most in plain sight christmas capitalisation there could be.

BercowsFestiveFlamingo · 30/11/2024 23:48

Creepy little plastic faced voyeur is not welcome in our house. Never has been, never will be.
We bring the Christmas Eve box forward and make it an advent bag with festive PJs and chocolate/sweets so that the PJs last the whole of the festive season, not just Christmas Eve to new year or 13th night. This year I've added a festive Squishmallow to snuggle with while watching a Christmas film which is what we are all doing together tomorrow. The end of November is a sad time in our family so the 1st of December signals that our day of remembrance is over and it's all systems go for Christmas.
Elves are freaky fuckers at the best of times.
There's a boy in DD's class (year 5, so age 9) who is a fully paid up believing member of the elf club and tells ds and others about it very enthusiastically. DS believes in Father Christmas but the elf is too big of a stretch especially when it's plastic.
Creepy freaky fuckers.

Wheelz46 · 30/11/2024 23:50

Elf on shelf is the worst invention ever!! For me anyway and I love everything about Christmas

When we started doing it, my youngest would sometimes wake up at ridiculous o'clock just to try and see what the elf had been up to and although we wouldn't let him get up, he struggled to get back to sleep.

Another downside, I myself would wake in the middle of the night, realising I forgot to do the elf, so found myself having to get up to do something stupid and random really quickly.

Best thing I ever did was change it to the daft sod arriving on Christmas Eve with Christmas Eve boxes. So much less stressful!!

sprigatito · 30/11/2024 23:53

skibidimom · 30/11/2024 23:29

Every year we have an elf bashing thread. If you don't want to do it then don't. No need for guilt. No need for snarky remarks about those who do enjoy it either.

FWIW ours never do stunts or elaborate tricks. They just move about and occasionally leave little notes. I know someone who has spent over £100 on props for their elf's capers which is insane to me but again, each to their own.

"Elf-bashing"? Is being an elf a protected characteristic?

TheGriffle · 30/11/2024 23:53

We don’t have one. My two (11 & 7) occasionally ask why we don’t and I, jokingly I might add, say that they bicker far too much and all the elf would do is tell Father Christmas they were arguing again and they’d only get coal in their stockings so we don’t bother!

snoopysnoooper · 30/11/2024 23:55

I always told dd elves only went to naughty kids houses 😂

Although she asked if she would ever get one last year because she just wanted to experience it, so I did it and she loved it. She was 10 at the time. She's now turning 11 and asked if it will come back again. So we managed to avoid it for a long time!!

MeandBobbyMcGoo · 30/11/2024 23:56

We like having the elf, he just does silly things not 'surveillance elf' or anything that can be described as creepy. Would I feel guilty if we didn't have the elf? Also no. Each to their own. Comparison is 100% the thief of Christmas joy.

TrixieFatell · 30/11/2024 23:59

We have never done it, my.kids never have asked me why we don't do it or had a terrible Christmas because an elf isn't causing mayhem in our house

livanlaterlaterlater · 01/12/2024 00:00

My children are adults but having a weird elf in the house would have been too creepy!

Idontevenknowmyname · 01/12/2024 00:01

I just asked dd15 if she felt damaged or left out by not having an elf.
She said no, they are creepy little fuckers and it’s just parents being weird.
She is very much her mother’s daughter…

Don’t go there op. Literally everyone I know who started it has regretted that choice after a year or two. Advent calendars are lovely, just leave it there.

Drivingoverlemons · 01/12/2024 00:02

I have friends who do it, it’s a nice thing to do if you have time and creativity. I don’t do it because I have neither, and my kids are older now and have never complained. I don’t do Christmas Eve boxes either.

Theunamedcat · 01/12/2024 00:04

Every year my son asks for one so last year I bought him one to play with he wanted to know why I didn't buy him one who does tricks while he was sleeping I said 1, you don't sleep (he is autistic and really doesn't) 2, what's the point in that? Just play and have fun with it so he has he even took it to school and told everyone it was a year round elf that you could play with not one who you can't touch (as according to his classmates that killed the elf 🙄) it's a minefield

StickyStones · 01/12/2024 00:05

I didn't do it until last year when I caved. It's really not that much of a hassle. I feel a bit mean for not doing it earlier actually...

livanlaterlaterlater · 01/12/2024 00:05

Idontevenknowmyname · 01/12/2024 00:01

I just asked dd15 if she felt damaged or left out by not having an elf.
She said no, they are creepy little fuckers and it’s just parents being weird.
She is very much her mother’s daughter…

Don’t go there op. Literally everyone I know who started it has regretted that choice after a year or two. Advent calendars are lovely, just leave it there.

Exactly. My kids would have hated this !

Needatumbledryer · 01/12/2024 00:06

I like doing it (shrugs)

There’s no creepiness or watching or anything about having to be good, just silly tricks for my dd to find in the morning, it brings her happiness

Snugglemonkey · 01/12/2024 00:06

You do not have to engage with anything you do not want to.

Our elves are good craic. There is no spying or behaviour monitoring. They bring wee surprises, an advent calendar, an odd chocolate coin if anyone has been super good or done well at school. They bring wee games (print offs of xy osies, or sodoku), they scale the Christmas tree, or rearrange shoes.

Nothing dramatic, nothing bad, often rewarding for solving a wee riddle or puzzle. They do change all the bed linen to Christmas covers when children are at school beginning of December.

They ask for toys to take back to santa to go on to other children, (which is why not everything is brand new) and old or broken things to be recycled into new toys. That is a week 1 activity, they fill the baskets and get a freddo in the basket back.

You can do what you like with it, or just don't. It need not be arduous. Or it can just not happen at all. There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing your own feel good stuff.

Bournetilly · 01/12/2024 00:13

I don’t understand why people are so against it. Most children would love elf of the shelf and I think a lot of people do it now, I wouldn’t want my child to be the only one without one, especially when they will all be talking about it at school. They get so excited over it.

They don’t need to be naughty just move them around and play hide n seek.

It’s not too late to get one, have it write a letter saying sorry it’s late…

MumblesParty · 01/12/2024 00:14

OP don’t waste energy feeling guilt about this. I never did it, and I’m so glad, because it sounds like a right pain. My kids are older teens now and they honestly don’t care that they didn’t do the elf thing.
Just do the things you like doing, make your own Christmas traditions. We always decorated the tree together, with Christmas music in the background. My eldest is at uni now but I’m under strict instructions not to do the tree till he comes home.
Another thing we did was have a picture advent calendar as well as chocolate, and try to guess what the picture would be. Far less hassle than moving a bloody elf around!

WinnieMaudPeggy · 01/12/2024 00:16

I didn't do it at all and never regretted it. Then my eldest asked to do it for her younger sister. We thought this was thoughtful and sweet. She stuck to it the first year. Second year she mostly did it. This is the third year and I can tell it is now my bloody job! Sake!

Chypre · 01/12/2024 00:16

You can still do it, like NOW. Not for the show off, just for fun. Start with something simple like a dusting of flour (which you probably have in the pantry anyway) and some “footprints”.

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/12/2024 00:22

It's not too late if you want to do it but it's also not a big deal if you don't.

TvToastBedPerfect · 01/12/2024 00:22

We do it as its the talk of the playground. Kids love it.
I don't post on Social media. I do it because we enjoy it not to show off

StrawberryWater · 01/12/2024 00:33

We tried Elf on the Shelf when ds was little but only managed 2 days. We were all bored.

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/12/2024 00:47

I said no till dd came home dec 1st in reception so she's 4 and asked why she didn't have an elf as all her school friends did. And so did the classroom

Luckily I had an elf and I said oh but you did - she arrived today when you were at school

She's a hiding elf

She hides daily and you have to find her

The smile on mini blondes face was worth it

But yes our elf only hides

I don't have time to organise or think and change tricks - I work nights

So she hides and dd finds her daily happy

Everyone wins

Calliopespa · 01/12/2024 00:51

I see it as the surest way to kill Christmas magic for Dc before time.

The main reason children believe in Father Christmas is because they can’t fathom their parents would “ pretend.” But what child is going to believe Fathef Christmas is real after they have seen their parents pretending this stupid inanimate plastic thing that is creepily out of proportion is alive..

Much MUCH more fun to have elves sneaking about who never get spotted.

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