To have mega mum guilt

[Crouchingdragonhiddentiger]

…over not doing elf on the shelf?!

I’ve seen so many Facebook and instagram posts tonight of this huge set ups - balloons, sweets, gifts and the elves, all making this huge thing on 1st December.

I’ve bought my 6 year old DS an advent calendar from Aldi and that’s it! I feel so tight now.

We are going round to a friends house tomorrow, who does it for her son, I have no idea what to say if mine starts asking why we don’t - because most parents seem to say “the elves won’t come if you’ve been naughty” I don’t want him to think he has been or doesn’t deserve it in some way.

We have an elf, been doing various tricks for years and not once taken photos and put it on the socials for likes or to ‘show off’
I do it because my children love it and talk about the elf coming back every December.
No regrets here.
It’s OK to do it, It’s OK not to do it, just stop comparing yourself to others.

There is no need to elf bash those of us who do enjoy it. Each to their own

My “friend” felt bad for us not having one, and made a big hoopla on delivering one on Xmas eve. Thankfully I saw it on the porch before the kids, he’s still in his box shoved at the back of the linen cupboard.

After all this time I still don't know what the point of it is 😆

We have advent calendars (not even chocolate ones, just classic paper ones) and that's all. I don't feel an ounce of guilt 😉

I've only done it one year (last year) and very half heartedly. This year my DS7 told me he didn't want the elf coming to visit as they are too naughty and was very insistent about it. Result!

It's utter consumerist nonsense and very creepy. Kids don't need to be brainwashed into thinking some weird supernatural being is spying on them.

The mistake you have made is looking at that BS on social media, not not doing elf on the shelf. Spend time with your children instead of fucking about with a plastic elf.

Ignore it - some people don’t have much going on in their lives and can waste time on stupid boring things

This thread 😂 classic Mumsnet one upmanship on not enjoying things that many, many people enjoy

Anyway we do the elf. It doesn't watch and report back to Santa but it moves every day and sometimes does silly things. It also brings ideas to do things for the food bank etc.
We tell our children that parents can tell Santa they would like to have an elf but that he decides if you get one. So some families don't have one because they didn't ask for one or Santa decided not to send one.

I think it's creepy.

Aw I have to say that my kids absolutely love their elves and get so excited every day when they see their antics . Even on Christmas Day they are more concerned about whether the elves are gone back rather than their presents. It's a little bit of fun in this often grim world.

I am not doing it. We have plenty of traditions and Christmas fun without needing to add an elf. Definitely not something to feel guilty about!

It's because it yet another thing for the mother to do. And yes, let's face it, it's the mothers that are doing this.

Another job in the ever growing list of expectations of Christmas. Mother's now "have to" sort all of the below for Christmas;

North pole breakfast - including planning, buying and making and photos
Dec 1 and/or Christmas Eve vices - including buying the crap, and/or retrieving the Christmas stuff and putting it out.
Christmas shows - rehearsals, costumes, getting time off work etc
Trips to Santa
Finding a christmas jumper
Donations to various causes
Trips to cinema/Ice skating/ markets/ fairs
Decorations
Buying and wrapping presents for everyone
Organising visits and visitors
Planning, buying and cooking dinner

And now;
Elf on the shelf.

There's a mother who started a "mega mum guilt" post for not doing YET ANOTHER THING.

It's utterly depressing. You wouldn't have a "mega dad guilt" thread.

I wouldn't feel guilty. We don't do it/have zero plans to. Aside from the fact it looks creepy and weird and I don't want it in the house in case it comes alive in the night and murders us all, it's just not something I want to be part of our Christmas traditions. We have plenty of other stuff we do instead.

I will say that if anyone wants to do something like this but objects to the freaky-ass elf, I read something about kindness elves, which are little wooden figures that aren't creepy-looking and it's not about surveillance but about doing good deeds.

We’re just having a collective vent. I, like other posters had an underwhelming experience with elf on the shelf however I bear no ill will towards him personally or any other furniture sitting elves.

@Crouchingdragonhiddentiger Some love it, some hate it…each to their own really!!
I don’t think it’s something to have guilt over though! DS is 4 and we haven’t done it yet, not sure if we will in future or not 🤷🏻‍♀️

Personally, I think the issue is more with people’s need to continuously post the endless days of the elf, the Christmas decorations, the piles of presents, the Christmas Eve boxes & the continuous festive days out all over social media 🙄 I can understand how being constantly bombarded with it all Dec can make it feel like your celebrations are “not enough”.

DS has a refillable fabric calendar which I put a choc coin in each night. We’ve had a number of Christmas books that have been bought/gifted over the last few years that I packed away with the decs last year rather than having them in his bookcase all year round so I’ve brought those out as our bedtime books for the month 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ll pack them away again this year (some will likely be too young for him by next year so I’ll pass those on)
I do buy him some Christmas jammies but he usually needs warmer ones by this time of year anyway so I just make them Christmas 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 (and he wears them right through to summer!). DH and I have the same ones we’ve had for about 10 years 😂
We do one trip to see Santa, usually at our local garden centre. This year we’re doing a “bigger” event at a restaurant which is a storytelling with the elves, and a visit from Santa along with a 3 course dinner. Far more extravagant than we’d usually do but DH is away for Christmas this year due to his work, we have no other local family, and it’ll just be DS and I for Christmas Day so we’re treating that as our big Christmas dinner and having a much more low key Christmas Day.

Don't feel guilty! It's totally naff, and just another thing for parents to add to the do list the run up to Christmas. I'd rather spend the time doing our own family traditions.

It was invented so people could hawk books and other elf-related tat. From Wikipedia.... "The Elf on the Shelf was written in 2004 by Carol Aebersold and her daughter Chanda Bell. Bell suggested they write a book based on their family tradition of an elf sent from Santa who came to watch over children at Christmas time. Aebersold's other daughter, Christa Pitts, was recruited by the family to share her expertise in sales and marketing. Together, the trio devoted the next three years to promoting their self-published book and attending book signings and trade shows."

I've not done it this year, might have to next year as my kids are bigger. We did have an advent box this morning though with the calenders, a colouring book each plus their festive plates/cups and tops. But the plates etc are the same as last year and the tops I bought in last year's sale so cost wise I only had to pay for the colouring books.

The "elf" dropped it off this morning

Never done, don't ever intend to and have zero guilt about it

I’ve always refused to do it. My DS when 7 asked why he doesn’t have an elf and all his classmates do. I told him I don’t have time to do it that’s why. No guilt whatever from me.

An advent calendar is plenty. I can’t be doing with setting up elaborate elf japes every bloody night.

Well done for not getting sucked in

I didn't do the Elf until DD was in year 2 and they had a class elf. We already had an elf toy from a previous gift. So we do it now but in a low level way. Luckily DD mentioned it yesterday and luckily I was able to find the elf!

Don't feel guilty about it all but also please don't tell your 6yo that the parents do it as he's likely to tell his friends. Just because you don't want to get involved in something or don't agree with the consumerism or whatever doesn't give you the right to ruin another child's Christmas magic. Some posters on this thread could do with some Christmas spirit if they think it's ok to take away a child's belief in something magical

This world is so depressing and children grow up so fast nowadays I don't think we should be so critical of parents who want to make the most of those few magical years