Children to sit at the dining table

[newmumabouttown]

I am dreading family meals during the festive season…in laws family have their Holstein play under the table, bring noisy toys and generally just run around. They always book private rooms in restaurants for this reason, but AIBU to want the children sat round the table? They’re raging from 6 to 11 years old.
I have a one year old who will sit at the table before / during / after meal, with occasional walks around if he gets itchy feet. I hate that he’s watching this behaviour.

I think it's great that they've planned a meal that suits adults and the kids. My kids could sit through a meal if we needed them to, but they would be bored and itching to move. I think I it's great they've set it so it suits the adults and kids. As long as they're not disruptive to other diners which sounds the case in the private room. We're out for dinner Xmas day and have booked a restaurant with soft play and already got my Xmas colouring books and pens ready to keep the kids entertained.

I think Holstein is now my favourite MN autocorrect. It used to be when someone posted "muppets" instead of "nippers." 😅

6-year-olds should be capable of sitting at the table, assuming no additional needs, and it should go without saying for an 11-year-old.

They should sit round the table while you are eating but maybe let them play between main and dessert courses so they don’t get bored and fidgety

My child doesn’t sit, ever. He’s a busy person!
But, I’m hoping by age six plus, he will stay still.

Sitting at the table, without gadgets, engaging with people, eating properly and never, ever getting up to piss about has probably been the only 'parenting rule' that I made and stuck to from my son being tiny. I cannot abide kids legging it round, watching tablets/phones and not learning to interact over a meal with others. Besides disabilities of any kind there is no reason why a kid can't sit still properly at a dining table. However, having said that, you can't tell someone else how to parent but you can choose not to suffer this and not go.

Their Holstein plays under the table? Isn't that a cow? 🤔

Could op please tell us what the typo for holstein is. It's driving me bananas!!!!!!

🤣

I assume it's autocorrect for children? Maybe the OP was typing quickly and wrote hldren or something else starting with h and the phone corrected it to Holstein.

Can you not have a good guess? Come on!! It's a thread about CHILDREN not sitting at the dining table (clue there for you as you clearly need it).

If your well brought up kids see another kid acting out but not being called to task, it could be a pretty bad example for them to see. If the parents feel they can't have their uncouth child in oublic then they really know they have a problem. No way the kind could be blamed, he's only doing what the parents allow.

That's a good game! I like the other typo/autocorrect... raging for ranging... seems apt

😂

My 4 were brought up not to leave te table without asking permission which is quite different from them deciding for themselves and hopping off. Mine were groomed in good table manners and let's face it, manners are for the other people at the table. Don't speak with your mouth full and don't fill your mouth so full that you can't chew politely. My 4 are in their 40s now and I had to laugh the other day - the eldest 43 told the youngest 39 to swallow before telling his tale.Back in the 80s, children were taught to be very polite to grandparents on pain of lesser Xmas presents !

I don't think we actually really disagree in practice

Mine would be fine with some toys/books/games but they wouldn't sit in their seats quietly for 4-5 hours is what I mean. They can do that for 1-2 hours, but after that they would move around and need something to occupy them

I assumed it was "offspring"

😂😂😂😂😂😂

The Friesan 😂😂

I agree.

The Friesans need to have separate Christmases to the Holsteins.

That child is about to go to secondary school (if not already there!)

Is there SEN involved?

If not wtf were their parents doing?

I would find children playing under the table (especially at 6 and 11) disruptive. Private room or not

It's very different getting a 1 year old to sit for a long period of time compared to kids who can run/talk and play together... mine is almost 3 and I could get her to sit and eat the meal but sitting g any longer than that and her active little mind and body are going to need something more. Good thinking of your family to get a private room though, very considerate to be fair.

I don't think you're being unreasonable about your child or about dreading it but also your 1 year old won't remember this, so you'll be fine.

They’re in secondary school and no neurological issues. Bizarrely the family think they’re an angel … it’s just madness. He was literally screaming, lunging at other children’s legs on the floor then playing video games under a table. No SEN, just no boundaries.