To think that if the school uniform states black shoes the kids should be wearing black shoes?

[Annabella92]

I probably am being unreasonable. I'm just frustrated by a daily battle I have with my child. The school dress code is black shoes with black or white socks. Every quarter the newsletter reiterates this and seeks to remind parents. So I make sure my child has black shoes, two pairs actually, one waterproof more expensive pair as they sometimes have to go through long wet grass to get to school. And every morning is a battle to get them to wear black shoes with black or white socks (which I bought plenty of too). They say everyone just wears their normal coloured trainers and whatever socks and when I go to school pickup, they're not wrong. So it seems this is voluntary in practice and next year i can save £100 on shoes and socks and not have to deal with the drama every morning. I'm.a natural rule follower but feel like an idiot

TLDR: if something is part of school dress code it should be enforced, or just dropped altogether?

What disability means you can't wear black shoes?

Just ask the teacher, say the uniform code says black shoes DD keeps asking to wear her out of school trainers and I have repeatedly said no, but have noticed most of the children don't wear school shoes, so is there a blind eye type policy going on? I don't want to keep having a battle when there's no reason, but equally if that is the school policy and it should be kept to, I will keep sending her in school shoes.

I think the likely result is either the teacher says oh send her in in trainers no one really bothers, or there's a note in the newsletter including a uniform reminder for everyone.

MN can't answer what the school's actual position is, only they can

The answer to that is irrelevant because other children's shoes are not the OPs business. 🫣

The same one that makes your husband's hobbies very niche and horribly outing

Well my DDs first few pairs of (very standard) NHS orthotics boots were available in navy or pink. She now has black ones but it has not always been the case.

You're being obtuse, it isn't about the other children's shoes, it's about the school having a policy they don't seem to enforce. There's a girl in DS' class who was wearing bright pink and white flashing Barbie trainers for a few days, the school told her it's not appropriate. The mum is all over the WhatsApp group bleating about it.
There are some children in plain black trainers which they seem to be ok with. The policy says plain black school shoes. So it's ok to query that with the school if that's not what you're seeing.

And that would be understandable if it was a few children, it's highly unlikely that 29 out of 30 children all have specialist NHS shoes that don't come in black. OP isn't going to ask why the other collagen after wearing the shoes they are, just if it's ok for her daughter to wear trainers too

It was a genuine question.

Quoted wrong post.

It was a genuine question.

Nope, I reminding OP that other children's shoes are not her business.

It's an irrelevant genuine question, if it doesn't concern you or your child.

Because we’re social creatures and clothing has a big impact on social cohesion, feelings of belonging, signals about who we are and how interested we are in fitting in etc. So the clothing choices of others will have an impact on OP’s DD, both in the way she thinks about herself and in the way others see her.

Speak to the staff.
Is it uniform? Do they want black shoes?
If so, you be the rule maker of the house.
No kid goes to school without being dressed in school uniform.
Never give in. Don't allow the uniform issue to be part of your every morning discussion.

Maybe the kids you see are just finishing off their Phys.Ed lesson and are wearing their runners for that reason..

You're being a bit silly

In the words of my teen “it’s not that deep”

Again, other people's shoes are not your business.

This is nothing to do with medical grounds. It's about a policy that isn't being fairly enforced to the detriment of OPs DD, because OP is following the role the school isn't enforcing. It's absolute nonsense to suggest that all of the other collagen in a class of 30 are wearing specially adapted shoes but available in black. That might apply for a small minority, but not all of them.

OP talk to the school

It would be if I was asking about a specific child but in the general sense it isn't.

Like I say, for some they will be rule breakers, some will have other reasons, only one of which being adapted shoes. My response was to OP stating it WAS her business to know DCs specific reasons, it is not.The school are aware as they mention it termly, you have two choices OP. Follow the rule and advise your DC that they are fortunate that they can and should follow the rule. Or break the rule, and accept any consequences you DC faces as a result and support the school with the consequences(as the other parents of rule breakers should do).

Some children needs special foot splints, and these are really hard to get into stiff leather shoes, so the compromise agreed with school is usually plain black trainers as these are more accommodating.
My daughter gets ankle pain due to hypermobility and on bad days will wear plan black trainers, school are aware and happy for her to do so.

It sounds as if everyone is equally free to ignore that part of the uniform rule? I certainly wouldn't support one child being told off for wearing shoes that don't strictly meet the code while another is not, but I don't see why you don't just send her in trainers like everyone else.

My son's school has the same rule and it is likewise ignored.

Simple uniform, well enforced, is one of the best tools for social cohesion at school, it can also provide a safe boundary for kids to push against (which is healthy!) but if you keep letting that boundary go, then they have to find something more to push against.

It's absolutely ridiculous that schools can't, won't, or don't enforce uniform. If they can't get the simple stuff right, what else are they letting go.

It's not a fashion show and simple uniform keeps it equitable and affordable for everyone.

YANBU

Fair point.
That will.be a small number of children

I wish schools didn’t have uniform. Most countries don’t have them. Once you have been to a school without a uniform you realise that all the arguments in favour of having them are total nonsense. The actual reason we still have them is because people are resistant to change.

In which case I would let them where what they want. Sound like a reasonable school.