To think that if the school uniform states black shoes the kids should be wearing black shoes?

[Annabella92]

I probably am being unreasonable. I'm just frustrated by a daily battle I have with my child. The school dress code is black shoes with black or white socks. Every quarter the newsletter reiterates this and seeks to remind parents. So I make sure my child has black shoes, two pairs actually, one waterproof more expensive pair as they sometimes have to go through long wet grass to get to school. And every morning is a battle to get them to wear black shoes with black or white socks (which I bought plenty of too). They say everyone just wears their normal coloured trainers and whatever socks and when I go to school pickup, they're not wrong. So it seems this is voluntary in practice and next year i can save £100 on shoes and socks and not have to deal with the drama every morning. I'm.a natural rule follower but feel like an idiot

TLDR: if something is part of school dress code it should be enforced, or just dropped altogether?

My older son wears uniform as it’s meant to be worn, they have changed some bits to suit the kids, letting them wear a black jumper etc but still need to wear black school shoe/trainer. My younger son wears joggies, t shirt and a jumper and whichever shoes he wants as part of ‘alternative uniform’ for children with Sen he is not in main school as such so isn’t seen but my older son still gets annoyed with the perceived unfairness he has to wear full school uniform and his brother doesn’t. I get it, waste for you buying decent shoes if they don’t wear them and nothing is said anyway.

Gah, life's to short to argue over shoes.
I'd point out the rule to her, warn her that she may get in trouble, then let her get on with it.
If she gets pulled up for it she can take the detention on the chin and make a better choice next time.
If its genuinely not being enforced, then she'll get wet feet walking across a field.

Yeah, i also bought some all black Nike trainers for my son. They r quite smart and comply with the school uniform policy. But equally, DS is happy as they r cool apparently.

Nope, another child's clothing or footwear isn't your business.

Get in touch with the school and ask them to clarify the rules.

This battle was lost years ago.
Sadly, school's lost; crap parents won.

The (excellent) head of dds’ senior school was all in favour of ditching uniform altogether, but the parents voted to keep it.

So not long afterwards there was a firmly worded message from her, to state that if any girl wore a non-uniform jumper (uniform was a red sweatshirt) to school, she’d be provided with the correct one, and the cost would be added to the parents’ bill.

In other words, you said you want uniform, so stick to the rules.

Primary is a bit young to learn it but you could see it as an opportunity to teach your child that many rules are flexible - which they are in most of life - and that you can often get away with breaking them if you don’t cause issues when doing so (like wearing shoes that are offensive in some way or totally unsuitable for the activities).

For some DC, it is absolutely not your business. Both of my DC wear adapted shoes, they are only entitled to one pair through the NHS. Mychilds disabilities are none of your business, in the same way you shouldn't be forced to share your medical history with these DC. Luckily mine are available in black and DC are happy to wear them but not all adapted shoes fit uniform rules. Other parents may have received their DCs shoes second hand and not be able to afford alternatives. For the most part, yes DC should follow the rule but you have no idea which parents are doing their best and which do not care. Stay in your own lane, follow the rule set out and be thankful that your circumstances mean that you are fortunate enough to be able to do this. Another child's shoe colour really isn't a big deal in your life.

Not even you believe that.

Our high school enforces the rules very strictly. However, I believe the girls' choice of footwear is poor because they are not allowed to wear boots, even when it rains heavily. The rules seem a bit medieval.

Unless you think your own DCs medical history should be freely avaible to all school parents, then you know deep down that it is none of your business.

I'm quite sure my child is not the only one who has no disabilities. I fully understand and accept that there might be some exceptions but that's not what this post is about. It would be gaslighting to tell my child that she might be the only person in her class that is no additional needs.

Are you seriously telling me you think that her whole class has a medical exemption meaning they can't wear black shoes?

As I've said, some will have, some will not. Adapted shoes are pretty common. It is not your business to find out which DC do need them.

In my DSs class (of 21) I am aware of three DC that wear adapted shoes.

If its primary school I just don't get the fuss over uniform. I was at primary 1969 until 76 and there was a sort of uniform you could wear if your parents really wanted you to. I certainly remember a number of the boys in standard trousers, shirt, tie and v neck jumper but the wearing of uniform bore no correlation as to who passed the 11+ or those who went to secondary modern. There were a few kids on very low income families who looked a bit dishevelled but they would probably have looked the same in school clothes. (one little boy was certainly neglected and I'm surprised that even then there was no intervention ). We girls wore dresses, skirts, jumpers, pinafore dresses. Our education was just as good. I really wish teachers could concentrate on education rather than policing petty clothing issues.

You’re being strange. Why would it be your business what another child wears?

School shoes for primary aged children is silly anyway. Just get her a pair of trainers which are much more comfortable and practical for the sort of okay young children engage in.
Don’t worry, in secondary it will be strictly enforced.

I get you. Same as rules on jewellery, those fake tattoos and nail varnish. I'm a rule follower to and the rules say no to these things but because other kids seem to get away with it I have battles with my 8 year old daughter because she can't understand why she can't have her nails painted for school or wear her bracelets.

I think that's true, but it's quite an expensive lesson for OP to teach.

Can you compromise with her- get her the black trainers but re-lace them with colourful laces?

Not going to comment on the uniform discussion!

It is, yeah.

Could be worth raising with the school and asking if they'd drop that rule, or loosen it, on the basis of the cost and that many people aren't following it anyway.

That's then the lesson that you can change rules, instead of just ignoring them.

I do believe that, because it's true.
The clothing or footwear of other children is simply not your business. What makes you think it is? 🫣

This is Mumsnet where people have different opinions, and just because those opinions differ from you and your bubble doesn’t mean they’re freakish or outlandish.

It's still none of your business.