Change name

[beachcitygirl]

Long story short. Ex husband has asked me to change my name as new wife doesn't like me being Mrs blah blah.
I've said no.
We were married nearly 20 years both kids are our name.

I truly don't mind there being another Mrs blah blah .but am I the arse by keeping the name I've used for years. Known professionally as & name of my kids.

Aware this has probably been discussed before but can't find. C

Maybe offer a compromise, the kids have their names changed to add your maiden name legally. Then you will change your name. I wouldn’t not have the same last name as my kids. But if you don’t want to change your name, then don’t change it.

It's your name. Keep it. I'd refer to myself as the 'first Mrs @beachcitygirl' just to wind them up further!

No chance. I told my DH that if ever we were to divorce then I absolutely wouldn't change my name back because I wouldn't want a different name to my child. His new wife's just going to have to get over it

It's fine. Mr. Wonderful accepted your changing to "his" name when you married, so he has no say now that it is legally your name.

If it's a "unique" name - for example you are Mrs. Rjidgelele- Quandifour- Willoughbeebee, cobbled together through his family connections and he's an only child and so the name and honorific together COULD be unique for now (until one of your kids marries and uses the name) - then I can maybe see the concern. But it doesn't override your right to continue to use what's now been established as your legal name.

Fuck that. Tell him she needs to get over herself.

TBH I probably wouldn't have changed it nowadays. Probably double barrelled and dropped his bit on divorce - whilst still sharing a name with DCs ... but I didn't and certainly wouldn't give up my name of 20 years for anyone.

He can change his name to hers to make her happy. Problem solved

Having the same name as your children is enough reason not to change your name but as you are known professionally by that name that is an equally good reason. Then there is the faff of changing everything official and ensuring schools are aware you are their mother even when staff change.

Mrs beachcitygirl mark 2 was surely aware of your name before she married your ex husband and could’ve raised her issue with it then. As it is only her who is bothered by it perhaps she and your ex husband should change their names. Maybe something to reflect her insecurity. Mr and Mrs Wontlast, perhaps 😬

Just say no
What can he do
Nothing

Say no worries -‘ you and all the children will change to your maiden name 😬

OR suggest he takes his mum’s maiden name and uses that for him and his new wife.

WTF should you have the hassle of changing when you’re not the one bothered by it??

My dad did this to my mum when they divorced.

She changed it back to her maiden name on official things but kept my dad's name at work, because she'd been known as that name for years by all her work contacts.

So then my deadbeat dad tried to argue that my mum was "profiting" by continuing to use "his" name...what a joke.

They're arrogant misogynists, don't give their nonsensical rantings any credence

He can change his name to hers to make her happy. Problem solved

This, placating his new wife ain’t your problem. It says all you need to know about their relationship dynamic.

My ex and his new wife did this
The name sounds ridiculous and I laugh everytime I see it

"No. I'm not doing that ".

He doesn't own the name, it's yours and your children's.

She is being ridiculous. It’s absolutely fine to keep your name - and it is your name now!

I hope you didn't do yourself a mischief laughing at him, OP.

Ffs. As a pp said, he can change his name to his new wife's , or double barrel or anything they want if she doesn't want your name.

They wanted to share a name and went with hers.
Why is that ridiculous or worth laughing at?

Tell him.to.do one, she needs to get over herself!

Perfect solution

^My ex and his new wife did this
The name sounds ridiculous and I laugh everytime I see it^

Why does it sound ridiculous? Just because it's her name, not his?

As for OP, just tell him no! Don't change yours or the children's names if you are happy the way you are.

I told my dh this as well. It will always be my name now because its my sons name too

Tell him no.
He needs to find a solution to his problem, one that doesn't involve you.

I presume his mother was also Mrs HisSurname. Did he have a problem with that?

Or new wife can keep the surname she had before marriage.

Not sure why people change their name in the first place. Been married 11 years and never changed mine.

Exactly, and any reasonable person would understand that