Change name

[beachcitygirl]

Long story short. Ex husband has asked me to change my name as new wife doesn't like me being Mrs blah blah.
I've said no.
We were married nearly 20 years both kids are our name.

I truly don't mind there being another Mrs blah blah .but am I the arse by keeping the name I've used for years. Known professionally as & name of my kids.

Aware this has probably been discussed before but can't find. C

My money's on Angry-Asparagus

Savage-Greene?
Wheylan-Chard?
Wilde-Root?

We have to know

Crewe-Ellsprout
Barbara-Scale

What a ridiculous request from your ex and his wife! It's your name now, you change it only if you want to. They can deal with it how they want on their own.

On another note, this is one of the reasons why I'd always support women keeping their own name instead of taking on another person's name once married to them like you've been 'sold' into their family and left yours (as it were from ages ago). The children can have both your surnames because they belong to both of you, not just one person.

Blows my mind that this 'marriage name-change for women' is still happening in this day and age to supposedly modern-minded people. For someone to have the mind to ask you to change your name back, why? Because the name belongs to him/his birth family and not you/your birth family? You wouldn't get this insult if you kept your birth name (not "maiden" name).

Oh well, what's done is done. Just tell them to sod off!

😂😂

Barbara-Scale
LOL

😂😂😂

Savage-Cabbage?

@HollyLollyMollyJolly I quite agree with you, but this was a long time ago & "the done thing"
I fell in line.
Looking back it's insanity. But I hated my dad - so there was that.

Surely the same belongs to his dad, not him, anyway?

Er, so who did it originally belong to then?

I agree with pp, either you keep it or he agrees to change the kids to your maiden name.

Absolutely don't change your name unless you want to which you don't. What a nerve they've got even asking. Tell him to change his surname to hers if he is that bothered.

his new wife throwing a tantrum isn't your problem. if you don't want to change it don't. I wouldn't even discuss it. Tell him to take her name. Problem solved. She has an issue and it's absolutely not for you to sort. It's that simple.

You're so cool and different

Tell him if it bothers him that much why doesn't he change his name and take his new wife's surname. Otherwise tell him to bugger off and keep your surname just the way you want to.

Not a chance would I change. If the new wife feels that strongly about it they should take her name.

Excellent idea.

Why the hell should the OP and at least 2 children go through the admin and social aspects of changing their names just so that wife 2 can adhere to a patriarchal tradition and appease her insecurities about having the same name as Wife 1 ?

Why the hell should the children go through life dealing with the admin of having a birth certificate that is different to their name? To appease W2 -issues as above?

At what point to women get to own their own names rather than be labelled by a man who then wants to remove that label and stick it on a new women?

Why should the OP and her children facilitate this? If she is not wanting to revert to her birth name?

How long can it have been if you have children under 18?

She has NOTHING TO DO with your name! No way is it her decision!! In no way. Your name, your kids, your call. Wow. I would make that very clear to them both.

First thing l did was change my name back.
My daughters too at school. She changed it by deed poll when she was 18.
After what he did to us we didn't want to be associated with his name.

Exactly what I was going to say.

She doesn't have to like it. She can just lump it

When Tina and Ike Turner divorce, she says that all she wanted was her name.