Manager being awkward as grandfather's funeral is 23rd Dec

[Mokel]

I work in retail. Grandfather died on Sunday and confirmed his funeral is on Monday 23rd December. For those who need reminding, 23rd Dec or Xmas Eve Eve is the busiest day of the year for retail.

My aunt and her OH arranged the funeral to before Xmas as not to dwell over us over the period.

My employer allows us to have time off for the funeral if its parents, grandparents, partner, children, grandchildren and ILs.

My manager has reacted badly to this. Granddad was my last grandparent. My grandmother on the other side of my family died 20 years ago. Granddad's wife, died when I was 2 years old suddenly. Have no memory of her - though there are a few photos of me being held by her as a baby.

I am not happy at the way I am treated at work because of this. I hate going to work now.

Having worked in retail as a junior many years ago it's awful. It's the attitude of the managers etc, they are power hungry insecure people.

However in turn he's probably miffed as he'll be a pair of hands down on a busy day, plenty of time for him to get a temp in to support.

You just focus on the funeral, don't let him make you feel bad. That's in your control.

And OP I'm very sorry for the loss of your Grandfather.

Totally agree she should be able to take leave as per their policy, but offering to take it unpaid may make the manager less shitty as they can use what they were going to pay op to get someone in to cover. Surprised it's policy tbh.

It took 6 weeks before we could bury my DF. Seems a perfectly normal wait to me.

What did the union say?

I’m very surprised. Schools I have worked in would not include grandparents among ‘close family’ and whilst leave would most likely be granted it would be unpaid.

It seems there is no legal right to paid leave for funerals so the company policy appears very generous. Is it a written policy?

Im not sure it makes a difference whether its paid leave or not does it. Does OP specify its paid leave?

@Nolegusta
Thankfully someone else who has experienced quicker dates, yes a PM an add a week or so. The only wait we have had is death on 23/12 funeral 13/1

But he’s not said no?

He's not accusing her of lying

Oh for goodness sake. It's different everywhere

Can you tell us what he’s doing to make you uncomfortable? You get the day because it’s company policy, he has plenty of notice, he’s being unreasonable if he’s being off with you.

I got the day off. Manager is just acting like a complete arse.

At least he knows I’m off. Though people do become ill before Xmas

I am sorry for your loss.

Seriously rise above it. Unless it makes your working conditions intolerable or he starts victimizing you for this for example by giving you worse duties than other colleagues between now and the funeral. In which case raise a grievance.

But if it's just pointed remarks rise above it. At some point he will experience his own loss, health need or need to care for a loved one in a crisis and will need others to extend him a bit of grace. And he will learn. Shame he hasn't learnt yet.

And when you are the manager one day be a good one. I hope your Grandad was a good one and if he was like mine he would have told you not to let the bastards grind you down.

When I was a student I worked in retail, in a supermarket, and on Christmas Eve I got an ear infection and had to call in sick. My manager reacted badly too but this was about 20 years ago and it doesn’t matter anymore. Your manager is just being difficult because it’s created a problem for him, but YANBU - these things happen and they’ll manage. Just ignore him as best you can and look for a new job in the new year if you want to.

Glad your manager has finally decided to act in a normal way, like a human being 🙄x