Manager being awkward as grandfather's funeral is 23rd Dec

[Mokel]

I work in retail. Grandfather died on Sunday and confirmed his funeral is on Monday 23rd December. For those who need reminding, 23rd Dec or Xmas Eve Eve is the busiest day of the year for retail.

My aunt and her OH arranged the funeral to before Xmas as not to dwell over us over the period.

My employer allows us to have time off for the funeral if its parents, grandparents, partner, children, grandchildren and ILs.

My manager has reacted badly to this. Granddad was my last grandparent. My grandmother on the other side of my family died 20 years ago. Granddad's wife, died when I was 2 years old suddenly. Have no memory of her - though there are a few photos of me being held by her as a baby.

I am not happy at the way I am treated at work because of this. I hate going to work now.

Your manager is being totally unreasonable and is clearly only focussing on the profits for the day achieved by their departmental performance. Clearly has never suffered the loss of a very dear relative either.
Your employers have precise regulations in place that state you are allowed to attend this funeral.
The manager will have to climb down from their self-important 'pedestal' and actually work on the shop floor to cover for you attending the funeral.
Go, show your respects for your grandad, support your family.

In the event that the manager might make matters awkward for you in the future perhaps you might consider making a personal note of all conversations etc over this matter - just incase they carry on being am arse and making things unpleasant for you.

@reesiespieces
Yes, we've had 4 deaths in the last 2 years, only delay was one who had died 23 dec, funeral 12 Jan, everything else 2 weeks max.
Again, I'm not in England.

Yes, unless there's a Post Mortem, around 2 weeks is normal in many parts of Scotland. It's sometimes even quicker where I live. A month as norm seems unnecessarily long for the bereaved. 😪

Normal. We’ve just had one that was 5 weeks. Takes a lot longer to register a death now too.

Also, join a union and seek their advice.

By all means join a union but they won’t advise on a situation that predates you joining.

What all over Scotland? Theres no one waiting more than that in Scotland anywherre?
Such a glib thing to day, also the query 'is that they only date they can book'

Well perhaps it wasnt the ONLY date they could book but guess what, you dont book funerals around work matters, you book it around the times and dates (if possible) that the vast majority of the significant mourners can make, you might have people having to make travel and child care arrangements for example.

I work at a company that prepares and prints funeral orders of service and it’s entirely normal to have four to six weeks from the date of death to the funeral these days.

OP if your manager is treating you in any way unreasonably, report to HR.

My neighbour died on 22 November and the funeral is 20 December.

So what if he isn't happy. He has to work within the rules. Just take the day off and move on. It's a non issue. This is the stuff of life.

We waited over 10 days for a post mortem due to a high number of deaths recently. 4 weeks is the norm here now.

Report this to HR.

Also it is the 29th November so your manager as plenty of time to arrange additional cover for that day.

I am sorry about your loss.

'@OutForBabyHaggis Have you explained to them what the rationale for the delay is - that might reassure your manager'

WTF? there is nothing to justify or any reason to reassure anyone.

What is he actually doing/saying? Report to HR any mistreatment or attempts to make it difficult for you to have the day off. If your company policy is that a day off is given for a grandparent's funeral then it's very simple and you don't require his permission or approval; you are just making him aware as per the policy.

Keep notes of any conversations, comments, actions by the manager that are untoward and report to HR.

4-6 weeks is quite normal here.

Some registry offices are being a pain still by only having appointments. Before, you could turn up anytime.

It's often about 4 weeks in the winter.
Just been to one that was over 3 weeks

Who voted YABU on this thread??

And you don't get last minute cancellations like you do with weddings/ parties etc. Funerals aren't rescheduled.

When you say 'reacted badly', have they refused the leave or are they just pissed off? Are you planning to take the whole day or just the time for the funeral? Would the manager be less awkward if you offered to take the time off unpaid (only if you can afford it)?
Depending on your notice period leaving your job may not actually help. Plus can you afford to be without it while you look for another?

'@MassiveOvaryaction
Would the manager be less awkward if you offered to take the time off unpaid (only if you can afford it)?'

Why should she? if the company has a policy of offering paid leave for the funeral of a close relative, the OP is perfectly entitled to it.

It is the manager's own problem if they decide to be 'awkward about it'...

@Mokel your manager sounds like an insensitive arsehole. You are entitled to the day off and longer need be.

Is there a policy for compassionate leave at your workplace? We get 5 days.

I’m so sorry for your loss, take as long as you need, grief is a strange emotion, go to his boss or HR, you don’t need to be dealing with this on top of a bereavement xx

I would not expect to be given a day off on full pay for a Great Uncle’s funeral. Or a grandparent for that matter.

They weren’t comparing your Uncle’s funeral to a “holiday” at all, they were using the word “holiday” as many people and companies do - meaning “annual leave entitlement.”

So in an ideal world maybe they should have asked “do you want to take it as a day’s annual leave or unpaid?” but other than that I don’t think they did anything wrong at all in your case.

If company policy is that you are entitled to the time you will of course be attending the funeral. What has your manager actually said / done?

My manager has reacted badly to this

In what way? Not letting you have the day off?

Sorry for your loss.

He’s not happy about getting the day off as it’s a funeral. I need the whole day off as it’s 80 miles away.

Also how does he react if a colleague breaks a bone or needs emergency surgery in December as it has happened.

I’m surprised a retail contract even gives you paid leave for a grandparent’s funeral.