AIBU to spit on DH toothbrush

[Toothbrushbitch]

I’m ill. In particular, yesterday I was really ill in a way I haven’t been in years - rigors, fever, vomiting and white spotty tonsils.

I’m also pregnant.

It was 2yo DD day off from nursery. We have no family in a 2.5 hour radius. No local friends (moved here recently for DH job).

I begged DH to stay home from work to parent but he declined (not self employed). CBeebies parented our child most of the day.

fast forward to this evening and I ask DH if he can look after DD so I can please shower as I didn’t shower at all yesterday as felt too ill. He’s not helping at all, lying on the sofa watching Facebook videos. Child crying. Im doing housework. He then says I’m “demonstrably fine”.

I have spat on his toothbrush since he thinks this virus is demonstrably fine.

AIBU

I had tonsillitis a couple of weeks ago. I couldn’t look after myself never mind anyone else. I thought I was dying. Ended up going to A&E, being admitted and treated for sepsis!

You two both sound like adorable people…

That's disgusting.

Also why are you doing housework?

When I'm that sick I don't clean my house. In fact I usually can't shower, I'll have a bath.

If you're as sick as you say, you hand him the toddler and bathe and go back to bed.

You don't walk around doing housework.

I'm a single parent and when I'm ill shit has to pile up. If he's not willing to help you leave it any ways.

Then you clean up, pack him up, and divorce. You don't have more kids with this man. You hate each other.

There is no way I would have spat on his toothbrush. I'd have rammed it up his arse instead. Sideways.

The OP is the one in an abusive relationship.

Sounds like you deserve each other. You're both behaving disgustingly.

Harsh. All I can focus on is what an absolutely useless man she is lumbered with and how scary it actually is if someone starts to realise this when they're up shit creek ( kids and pregnant!).

I'm not even referencing the toothbrush. The issue is what the hell is this relationship. This man is no good. That's a pretty rubbish realisation if it's only just revealing itself to OP now.

I think both your parents are the unreasonable ones here.Allowing two middle school children to marry and procreate is the very height of irresponsible behaviour.You and your husband should move back into your parents’ homes and allow Social Services to take over the care of the children.It’s the only sensible thing to do.For Christ’s sake you’re only 12

Thank god I wore my corset, I think my sides have split.

YANBU He is lazy and can't parent his own child that he already has. How far along are you in your pregnancy and do you really want it? He is a deadbeat father as it is with only one and shows no care for you. I'd LTB.

I don't know what your husbands job is but mine can't take days off everytime I'm ill or he'd be sacked, spitting on his toothbrush is disgusting and if a man did this to his wife people would be saying he's abusive, being pregnant is no excuse to act like that, I've been pregnant 4 times and never once done anything like that

He’s been a dickhead but, say he does become ill, he’ll just use it as an excuse to be even more unhelpful… Definitely haven’t done yourself any favours, OP.

If you're sick, why are you running around doing housework while he sits on the sofa? Go to bed!

And spitting on someone's toothbrush is absolutely vile behaviour.

When will people realise that these horrible relationships that people find themselves stuck in, that are too troublesome or that they’re too cowardly (other difficulties may apply) to leave are the actual examples your kids will see and will create the building blocks for the relationships your kids will grow up to have.

Take a really good look at your child, and ask yourself - is this the kind of relationship you want for your child? Whatever side of it they might find themselves on? Your petty vengeance might make you feel good for a few minutes, but have a good long think about the lasting repercussions that you won’t experience but your little ones will.

I think this is really childish. If I did this I'd feel really guilty, regret it, tell him and go out specially to buy a new one before he next needed it.

Why can't you just have a conversation about how he's made you feel?

You’re disgusting.