AIBU to spit on DH toothbrush

[Toothbrushbitch]

I’m ill. In particular, yesterday I was really ill in a way I haven’t been in years - rigors, fever, vomiting and white spotty tonsils.

I’m also pregnant.

It was 2yo DD day off from nursery. We have no family in a 2.5 hour radius. No local friends (moved here recently for DH job).

I begged DH to stay home from work to parent but he declined (not self employed). CBeebies parented our child most of the day.

fast forward to this evening and I ask DH if he can look after DD so I can please shower as I didn’t shower at all yesterday as felt too ill. He’s not helping at all, lying on the sofa watching Facebook videos. Child crying. Im doing housework. He then says I’m “demonstrably fine”.

I have spat on his toothbrush since he thinks this virus is demonstrably fine.

AIBU

Stop doing housework! Your husband is an arsehole

Erm...
tbf though, he does need to pull his weight around the house, honestly if he continues to quite frankly take the piss out of you he needs to go, you don't need another man child to look after when you've got another baby on the way

Wow. I’m speechless. How did you find out?

She should divorce him

I think spitting on his toothbrush is a reasonable thing to do considering what a lazy entitled prick he is being.

However you should also be leaving him because your relationship sounds like it’s over and it’s not healthy to raise children in a toxic environment.

Wow everyone has toothbrush issues. I've shared toothbrushes (in extremis) with my DP. That's effectively sharing spit!
But look OP it's less about the spit and what the spit is telling you about this relationship.
Go to bed. Drop the rope.

YANBU, he's a twat and clearly has a lack of empathy for you. I hope he gets sick - make sure to leave the toddler with him too then

What the actual Jesus! 😳

Put the child on his lap. Go have a bath. If he complains, tell him you're entitled to take care of basic needs, such as your personal hygiene.

IME when men get ill they tend to cough and splutter all over the rest of the family, I'd give his brush a wash before he gets ill and then infects your baby.
And then I'd start making plans to seperate from him because he's a bellend.

Not the point but if the op's well enough to do housework, then I find it difficult to believe she's too ill to parent.

Spitting on a toothbrush is vile but no more vile I suppose than than giving him a deep and sensual kiss and I bet he wouldn’t have complained if he thought something else was coming.

In any event I have never understood why men get so antsy about their toothbrushes when they seem to want blow jobs. I can't square that one. "Boo hoo, you used my toothbrush, it's disgusting" "oh darling please do, it's really lovely when you do can I have a blow job".

I can't get worked up about a lazy, neglectful, abusive man getting his comeuppance. It's appalling that he left you so ill (and pregnant) and is refusing to parent his child. He deserves what he gets.

Relationships shouldn't be this hard. Time to consider if this is how you want to spend your life, and the type of relationship you want to model for your children.

Just a message of support here as most people have been hating on the toothbrush-based revenge. I totally understand how you feel and hope it makes you feel better that I once cleaned the loo at uni with my housemate’s toothbrush after he repeatedly smoked in his room which made my room smell of smoke too. All hail the toothbrush revenge!!! He doesn’t sound like a good supportive partner I’m afraid.

@Thereislightattheendofthetunnel how do you think?! She did many, many other psychotic things too.

Do you still speak to your sister? I’d see someone like that as unhinged and would want to steer clear!

This thread has been eye opening to me! I spent most of my 20s in houseshares and i always had what I thought was a paranoia about my toothbrush in shared bathrooms so I’d keep my toothbrush hidden in my room. To think that people will Do things like this to their husband and sister or condone it shows me I had good reason to be wary!

I have lived with some vile people and even had to call police on one, but it’s just not something I’d do.

I’d rather move out than treat a partner, family member even an enemy like that because it’s degrading myself too.

Wow, what a dream couple you two are.

You just made it worse. You know he will expect you to wait on him when he's ill and not see the double standard...

I don't think you'd be unreasonable 🤷

Disgusting behaviour. Go get your brain checked out , lovely. Something is not working inside your head.

That’s vile.

I was about to tear him a new one and say how little respect he has for you but I understand why now as you sound awful.

I don’t blame you.

I think both your parents are the unreasonable ones here.
Allowing two middle school children to marry and procreate is the very height of irresponsible behaviour.
You and your husband should move back into your parents’ homes and allow Social Services to take over the care of the children.
It’s the only sensible thing to do.
For Christ’s sake you’re only 12.

Oh god please don't!!! 🫣 One Christmas at my wife's family home, I found my toothbrush sitting in a perfectly clean bin. Assumed it had fallen off sink so rinsed & used it. Woke up on boxing day feeling dreadful. Fever, nauseous & delirious. When I almost collapsed trying to stand, my wife became very concerned. That worried me as she usually has the all the sympathy of a Honey Badger for anything resembling man-flu. Went into full medic mode, even trying to get me to go to A&E.

Months later, she admitted that after a silly argument she went into a first-trimester mood and rage-cleaned the toilet with my toothbrush! Later when she realised how ridiculous she was being, threw it away so I wouldn't use it. 🤢🫣

Also made sense why I remembered her being so relieved when others who had been at the party all reported the same bug!

Still hide my toothbrush whenever we argue, just in case!

You sound just as vile as the OP.

You are SO not unreasonable. He is a piece of shit.