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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

....in thinking that 9 is too young for a mobile phone?

100 replies

zog · 29/04/2008 10:27

DS is 9 and has announced this morning having had a flick through the Argos catalogue that he has enough money for a mobile phone.

I explained to him that it's not just a case of buying the phone, he would have to have enough money for calls as well (which he doesn't).

He could only cite one other child that he knows who has one, so it's not a case of peer pressure.

My main objections are:

theft magnet
DS can't even look after a watch successfully
a lot of money
access to info/texts unsuitable for his age

I have said that we will have a (not flashy) "family" mobile that he can take with him when he's out and about by himself and we will look at the issue again when he goes to secondary school. But he is saying it's his money and he has the right to spend it on what he wants.

So AIBU? What have you done/decided re mobiles?

OP posts:

belgo · 29/04/2008 10:29

YANBU. You are the parent, you have the right to decide what your 9 year old spends 'their' money on.

panties · 29/04/2008 10:33

Hes right it is his money and he can spend it on what he likes. Have you thought of have a look around for the cheapest pay as you go phone around. Try and persuade him to buy that. surely when he is out on his bike with his mates you like to keep in touch. as for info/texts which are unsuitable, just who are you going to give his number too? Make sure his bluetooth is switched of (most phones come with it switched on) and hiding and you should not have any problems.

WingsofanAngel · 29/04/2008 10:33

I think 9 is to young.

My ds 8 has an old phone without a sim card you can take pictures and do the video on it. He can't make calls or do texts.

He did say last week that when he goes to secondary school he'll be able to have one with a sim card

ranting · 29/04/2008 10:35

YANBU, you're in charge, you make the decision. I let ds have his when he turned 12.

panties · 29/04/2008 10:35

My 9 yr old has sn but my 13 yr old who was always out playing in primary (to much homework now) the mobile she had from 9 was old granted, but it enabled us to make sure she was safe.

sarah293 · 29/04/2008 10:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

glaskham · 29/04/2008 10:37

you can get some basic mobiles from asda for £5 at the moment, i agree with the 'family mobile'....our 2 are only 2y and 3.4y they know what mobiles are and ds (oldest) can even call someone offmy sisters phone- I'm dreading him asking for a mobile!!

Original poster

zog · 29/04/2008 10:38

Well this is the thing - my compromise would be the "family" mobile that his sister would then be able to use when the time comes. But he is adamant that it's his money to spend as he pleases and that is where I become less certain IYKWIM.

OP posts:

Original poster

zog · 29/04/2008 10:39

I don't think he is old enough not to give his number out to all and sundry. I also don't think he would look after it properly and I would worry about him being mugged for it by older kids.

OP posts:

admylin · 29/04/2008 10:41

I think 9 is too young BUT all the 9 year olds at school have one in ds's class and have had one for over a year atleast. He obviously wants one but he won't be starting to go anywhere much by himself 'til next year so he might be lucky and get one then so I can contact him or he can let me know if he'll be late etc.

Psychomum5 · 29/04/2008 10:42

both my elder girls had a mobile on their 10th b/day that was an old one of either mine or their dad.

we then put in a 'pay-as-you-go' sim, and they then had a year to prove to us that they could keep it safe from loss or theft, plus that they could be sensible with their credit (altho we only topped up monthly with £5 anyway).

they then got a new one of their choice (within a budget) for their 11th b/days so that once they started at secondary school (and so were themselves in charge of getting to and from school) they knew hat they were doing for if an emergancy arose.

so far all has worked well......DD2 did have her phone stolen from swimming, and she learnt from it too as she then had to wait another year (going back to her old 3rd hand [by then] phone) before getting another new one (she had had her previous new phoe for just 8wks when it was stolen!!!)....she had another one for her 12th bday in feb and so far all has been great again.

9yo tho......a tad too young for a new phone...maybe an old one of yours to get used to it???

panties · 29/04/2008 10:46

Do you really think he would be able to memorise his phone number? wow I can not remember mine. When you go to get the phone then, try to get a complicated phone number and do not put the phone number in the phone. ISWIM

Original poster

zog · 29/04/2008 10:50

Gosh, maybe I am out of touch

I have to say, I was expecting a lot more "noooo" responses. Interesting.

OP posts:

RosaLuxembourg · 29/04/2008 10:55

DD1 is getting one when she starts secondary school. No need earlier in my opinion. I do let her go out and about and have a fair degree of freedom - she has a watch and knows what time she needs to be home by and I don't see what purpose having a mobile would serve in that respect. I think it detracts from their ability to learn to be independent and responsible for themselves if they know they are always on one end of a telephonic umbilical cord.
Have you asked him what he wants the phone FOR?

duchesse · 29/04/2008 11:02

Only question to ask is

Does he need a mobile phone?

Is he negotiating public transport by himself, undertaking complicated and changeable after-school arrangements, walking home 3 miles across town, or does he live in a place where sudden freak snowstorms might cause him problems?

If no to all all the above, then he does not need a mobile phone.

wannaBe · 29/04/2008 11:12

I don't get this idea that children need mobile phones. any children. And I don't get this idea that it keeps them safe, how exactly does it keep them safe? can you electricute muggers with it? bash potential abductors over the head with it? no thought not. If anything having a mobile phone sets children up to be victims of crime at a far younger age than they would be otherwise. more children are attacked for their mobile phones than anything else.

Plus there is still no certainty on the potential damage phones can cause to young developing brains.

I would say absolutely not.

RosaLuxembourg · 29/04/2008 11:16

Yes, exactly Wannabe. What is it that makes a child out and about with a mobile phone safer than one without? It just makes the parent feel better, but it doesn't help the child to gain independence at all.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 29/04/2008 11:21

Yes too young. Uneccessary and risky because children hand out their numbers even when you tell them not to.

Friend's DD (age 8) has a mob against her mum's better judgement (mum's sister bought it for her) and she (the DD) recently got a call from "someone" telling her a car was going to come and pick her up and take her to a lovely party!! The DD was v. excited.. but hadn't a CLUE who had called.. she "forgot to ask"!

Cue much frantic investigation by her parents until it was established it was the DD of one of their friends phoning to tell their DD about plans for her birthday..! But still, point is the 8 year old hadn't a clue and didn't realise any potential risks..

I'm getting my DD a phone when she starts secondary school. She is currently 9 and whinges about it weekly, but I will not give in. She doesn't need one til then ("need" as in it will be handy for her to have one then) and by then I think she may be mature enough to use it sensibly.

Buda · 29/04/2008 11:26

Well in Ireland there is talk of trying to get them banned for under 10s I think. There is an unknown danger element of the radiation and the younger they start using them the worse obv.

DS is 6.5 and has asked when he can have one! I have said when he is 12 MAYBE.

I will review it then.

Psychomum5 · 29/04/2008 11:33

Mobiles can keep them safer, at times.

DD1 was surrounded one day on her way home from school, being badly bullied by 8 girls over a random comment I had made to one of them who swore outside my house at my then 3yo DS2!

she was able to ring me and scream down the phone and I could go fetch her......and see these girls run off as I got there, and recognise them!

it was sorted really well by the school, and DD1 and I was rather thankful regarding the mobile.

we were lucky however that one of these other girls didn;t snatch the phone away....tis always a possibility.

BUT....worked for us, so I am obviously biased towards mobiles.

TheHedgeWitch · 29/04/2008 11:35

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Message withdrawn

Lauriefairycake · 29/04/2008 11:44

I think it's too young and I wouldn't. I'm normally first to say "it's his money and can do what he likes" but not about children as young as this as they'd just buy £200 quids worth of Gummi Bears or something

So if he was a teenager then I would be more inclined to negotiate what they spend their money on but not at 9.

I also don't think mobiles are essential and I'm often without mine or have it turned off.

Loshad · 29/04/2008 11:49

I would say no. None of mine have had a phone at that age. DS1 got one at 13, Ds2 got his at 11.5 and I still thought that was too young, and yes it was nicked after about 9 months. Ds3 is 10 and has asked for one quite a bit, as has DS4 aged 7, but the answer is, and will remain no at least until they go into Y7.
I really don't think a primary school aged child needs one at all, even if they are playing out withyout you, then how about a watch, and be home by time x.
Also safety in long term use in young people not yet established.

scaryteacher · 29/04/2008 11:55

DS is 12 and doesn't have one as he doesn't need it. It would get nicked from school or he'd lose it. If he needs to contact me whilst at school he goes to the secretary and calls me. He goes to school on the school bus and returns the same way, so I see no requirement for him to have one.

I'd say no. You're the Mum.

I got through school and sixth form without one as I don't think they'd been invented by 1984, when I finished my A levels, or if they had they were like bricks and very expensive.

bigTillyMint · 29/04/2008 12:36

I too am amazed that there are not more NO's - what could a 9 year old need a mobile phone for?

Mee too scaryteacher! I only got one when DD was born 8yrs ago, incase of an emergency. I still have the same cheap as chips model that only phones and texts as do many of my (also ancient!!!) friends.

But I am tempted to get myself a new cheap phone and keep this one for DD in case of future genuinely necessary situations. Can't think of any just now though

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