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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

....in thinking that 9 is too young for a mobile phone?

100 replies

zog · 29/04/2008 10:27

DS is 9 and has announced this morning having had a flick through the Argos catalogue that he has enough money for a mobile phone.

I explained to him that it's not just a case of buying the phone, he would have to have enough money for calls as well (which he doesn't).

He could only cite one other child that he knows who has one, so it's not a case of peer pressure.

My main objections are:

theft magnet
DS can't even look after a watch successfully
a lot of money
access to info/texts unsuitable for his age

I have said that we will have a (not flashy) "family" mobile that he can take with him when he's out and about by himself and we will look at the issue again when he goes to secondary school. But he is saying it's his money and he has the right to spend it on what he wants.

So AIBU? What have you done/decided re mobiles?

OP posts:

KarenThirl · 29/04/2008 12:50

My ds is 9 and has been nagging me for a phone for ages. He doesn't even play out on his own (he has Asperger's) so certainly doesn't 'need' one, I always know exactly where he is and who he's with. And financially I don't think it's good for him to think he can have something just because he has enough money for it - he needs to learn about budgeting his savings and blowing it all on one item won't teach him that. TBH I don't believe the guff that 'everyone' in his class has one, and he certainly won't be getting one till he moves up to secondary, whether he's got the cash or not. I'm his mother, I'm still in charge.

TheHedgeWitch · 29/04/2008 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

zog · 29/04/2008 16:47

Thanks for all these responses, they've been really helpful. Hadn't even considered the health aspects - that's a deal breaker for me.

I take whoever it was's point about not needing a mobile phone and I would certainly agree for playing in the road and going round the corner to a friend's, but as ds gets older and goes further afield, I think he would like the reassurance of knowing that he could get hold of us if he needed to. But giving him a phone would in no way replace having a conversation about what he should do if he gets into a situation which makes him unhappy/uneasy.

OP posts:

cheesesarnie · 29/04/2008 16:48

yanbu.9!!!!!???

Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 17:21

In my opinion, 9 is WAY too young to have a mobile. Unless you are allowing him to play out for 5 hours at a time (in which case, I would accuse you of being a VERY irresponsable parent, but i'm sure this isn't the case!), then there is no need.

Whoever it was that said "it's his money and he can buy what he wants. If he wants a phone, let him have it" is a fruitloop. I'm all for children having independence, as long as they are making the RIGHT choices - not ones that can get them into serious trouble!

pointydog · 29/04/2008 17:44

dd2 got her mobile when she was 9. She hasn't lost it yet. She goes out to the park, swimming pool, library, friends' houses a lot so it's easier for her to give us a bell to let us know where she is. She texts her gps and aunty a lot.

At £30 I reckoned it wasn't a huge cost if she lost it. If your ds buys it with his money, then it's him that suffers if he loses it.

lottiejenkins · 29/04/2008 17:55

My ds had a mobile when he was ten, it was a gift from a friend who had her contract phone upgraded. She gave it to him because he is deaf and he can communicate with it which is brilliant!

Original poster

zog · 29/04/2008 17:59

It's really interesting how this is one issue where people seem to be quite polarised in their opinions.

For those who have let their primary age children have mobiles, do they have them with them in the house? In their bedrooms? How do you keep tabs on what they're doing with it or do you think it's unnecessary?

OP posts:

pointydog · 29/04/2008 17:59

I think this notion of 'needing' a mobile phone or not is very old fashioned. It's not really to do with needing one. It's fairly cheap, new technology, it's fun to send texts, take silly photos and record your friends.

There are issues associated with them but 'need' isn't one of them really.

pointydog · 29/04/2008 18:01

They keep them in the house, yes. It's not my responsibility to look after any of their possessions. What are you worried they might do with them, zog?

Squirdle · 29/04/2008 18:02

Why would a 9 year old need a mobile phone? DS1 got a mobile when he started secondary school and that was only so that we could contact each other if he was late or going to be late. Before that he wasn't going far on his own anyway. Do 9 year olds really go to town or swimming etc on their own? Yes we lived in London until DS began secondary school, but even so I wouldn't have been allowing him to go to town on his own at 9 wherever we lived! Maybe I'm too overprotective!

He is 14 now and definately needs a phone (when he remembers to take it with him) as he is off out and about with friends and often will go to a freinds house after school.

So how on earth did we all survive? Oh, I know, we used a public telephone box! Mind you, my parents didn't even have a house phone, so I was pretty stuffed wasn't I I'm still here though!

Oh and at 9 he is still a child and if you feel strongly about not wanting him to buy something then you as his parent have a right to say no. It doesn't matter if it is his money!

Gawd kids are growing up fast these days aren't they!

Original poster

zog · 29/04/2008 18:04

Well I suppose I regard them the same way as I regard the internet. Fantastic but open to abuse. I keep an eye on what my 9 year old is looking at on the web so would be wanting to do the same with a mobile at primary age.

OP posts:

LoopyLena · 29/04/2008 18:10

Wannbe...I love your post!!!

I managed to stay safe and we never had them when we were kids...

As for the brain... this is interesting, would you want you childs brain exposed to these microwaves?

"...Mobile phones "the largest human biologic experiment"
Researchers found "highly significant" evidence for damages to brain cells in rats exposed for 2 hrs to microwaves from mobile phones; and these damages were still seen 50 days after the exposure.

One quarter of the world?s population is now exposing themselves to microwaves from hand-held mobile phones. The research team in Lundt University, Sweden, led by Leif Salford, referred to this as "the largest human biologic experiment ever". They point out that soon, microwaves will be emitted by an abundance of other appliances in the ?cordless? office and in the home.

Most researchers have concentrated on the question of whether radiofrequency electromagnetic fields can induce or promote cancer, but the evidence appears conflicting."

I wouldn't let mine have one. Afterall, they are at school, if they need to phone you, they use the office phone. At the age of 9 are they wondering the streets? My DS goes to a mates house and again, he can use their phone. I can't see why a child so yound needs one.

Original poster

zog · 29/04/2008 18:16

Trouble is, there's an awful lot we didn't have as kids that is available now. I don't need a computer but it's very nice to have one. Ditto a mobile I suppose.

OP posts:

silvercrown · 29/04/2008 18:16

Most kids in my dd's school have mobile phones which I don't agree with - dh takes kids away for a week (aged 8 and 10) and they come home with a mobile phone each. They used up all their credit calling each other from their bedrooms!! Now they've lost interest thankfully.

pointydog · 29/04/2008 18:18

Why is everyone going on about school? Primary kids, as a rule, are not taking their phones to school anyway. Not allowed round here and quite right.

I do not see the risks as anything like as great at the internet. The only risk I see is the fried brain one. I monitor their internet use closely. Not the phone.

The fact that 'I didn't have one as a child so why should they?' is just being a blinkered old fogey, really. Mobile phones are not purely about keeping safe and contacting parents. They are a fun gadget. Like new toys when you were a kid.

pointydog · 29/04/2008 18:19

And yes, my 9 yr old goes to the swimmin gpool on her own as do lots of her friends. That is really not at all unusual.

ButterflyMcQueen · 29/04/2008 18:19

very articulate Wannabe

i remember a couple of years ago the 'hoo har' s the CE or carphone warehouse would not let his 14 year old have a mobile

my 11 year old does not have one

ditto my 13 year old

ditto my 15 year old

they are in a tiny minority!

pointydog · 29/04/2008 18:20

And my 9 yer old does wander the local streets a bit - going to park, going to 'grassy bit', going to C's house, going to H's house, going to library etc etc

Squirdle · 29/04/2008 18:25

But pointydog, a 9 yr old doesn't neeeeeed one! And if the OP doesn't agree with her son having one, then she shouldn't allow him to buy one.

pointydog · 29/04/2008 18:26

I disagree

Squirdle · 29/04/2008 18:28

Original poster

zog · 29/04/2008 18:28

What bit do you disagree with?

OP posts:

LoopyLena · 29/04/2008 18:31

OK, so it's just the brain fry...

This report was published this month.

news.zdnet.co.uk/communications/0,1000000085,39377517,00.htm

It suggests there is growing evidence of a link between excessive long-term use of mobiles and certain types of brain tumours.

So a person using a mobile phone from as young as 9 would have 6 years worth more exposure than a 15 year old, at a time when there brain is still developing.

It may be a gadget, but hey, what price do you pay to be cool like your mates?

Squirdle · 29/04/2008 18:33

Maybe it's just the way I am, but I feel that children want grown up things younger and younger these days. DS1 didn't have a games console until he was 8, simply because we felt he should be a child, playing, not glued to a tv screen! DS2 would love one, but at 5 there is no way! Many of his friends have a games console however and are glued to them! It's sad if you ask me!

Were there not things that your parents would refuse to let you have until you were a certain age?

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