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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

....in thinking that 9 is too young for a mobile phone?

100 replies

zog · 29/04/2008 10:27

DS is 9 and has announced this morning having had a flick through the Argos catalogue that he has enough money for a mobile phone.

I explained to him that it's not just a case of buying the phone, he would have to have enough money for calls as well (which he doesn't).

He could only cite one other child that he knows who has one, so it's not a case of peer pressure.

My main objections are:

theft magnet
DS can't even look after a watch successfully
a lot of money
access to info/texts unsuitable for his age

I have said that we will have a (not flashy) "family" mobile that he can take with him when he's out and about by himself and we will look at the issue again when he goes to secondary school. But he is saying it's his money and he has the right to spend it on what he wants.

So AIBU? What have you done/decided re mobiles?

OP posts:

yogabird · 29/04/2008 22:23

loopy lena - so glad you did the health angle on this that's my main concern, i won't even let dd's say 'Hi' on mine when someone calls, i rarely talk for more than a minute myself.

As for the OP. Young brains, old brains they're all important and i shall resist my dd's having one for as long as possible, hopefully getting them to understand why and deciding / agreeing not to.

I am the parent and i make the decisions on their behalf based on what i judge to be best for them while they are children. When they are adults they can decide and as they move towards adulthood they can of course negotiate and take steps to making their own decisions. The it's their own money arguement doesn't wash - would any of the proponents of that argument advocate using their 'own money' to buy drugs/alcohol and it be ok i wonder?

ButterflyMcQueen · 29/04/2008 23:12

i am with you on the health issue

pointydog · 30/04/2008 06:50

"Mobile phones are not purely about keeping
safe and contacting parents.". What else are they for then? taking pictures? ah you can get cameras to do that, listening to music? try buying an mp3 player, talking to their friends? well most people have a landline at home don't they?

They are for playing with. They are gadget toys. We didn't have them so all too easily we just think of them as telephones.

Add up the cost of a digital camera and an mp3 player. Compared to a cheap, fun mobile phone.

Texting is fun. Fun is what it's about.

Iworryalot · 30/04/2008 07:14

Wow things have changed i was still making mud pies and making camps at 9 LOL .
Seriously i know things have moved on since then ,but i do feel 9 is far to young ,unless you plan on letting your child out alone for long periods of time ,which i dont think anyone would do ,i see no need for them to have one.....
My Dd is 8 and would love one im sure but i totally dismissed the idea when she has asked i have said no and gave reasons why and like others have said will review when she starts senior school.
Thats just my opinion.

Squirdle · 30/04/2008 11:06

But I disagree pointydog, my mobile phone is mainly so that school/nursery can contact me if I am out. Tis handy for emergencies etc. DS1 doesn't use his for playing games, it's pretty much so he can cotact people as and when he needs to, be it by text or calling. At 9 I would want to know who my children were texting/calling.

Ooh and text speak, can't stand it! I have friends who laugh at me because I type out messages properly. Even DS sends me 'proper' messages

BTW DS1 has managed just fine without his phone for the past few weeks as it has been in for them not to repair repair. Reminds me, I must go and pick it up today!

chefswife · 30/04/2008 12:26

Cat64? just because your son tells you where he?s going, who he?s with, etc., doesn?t mean that?s what?s going on. And it will become more so as he gets older. I like your suggestion on how to split up earnings? he would learn the responsibility, joy and fulfilment of earning his own.

Loopylena? the part you posted said that it is anticipated, not that it is. It also doesn?t mention second hand smoke. I?d really like to see the full report. These waves were a huge concern in the ?80?s with everyone getting microwaves. I?m not sure if you are suggesting that no one should have cell phones (because, it does affect us all) or just children. TBH, I never felt the need for a mobile till I moved to London. It?s the marketing; it?s life today. Do you make sure you LO wash fruit before eating them? there?s plenty of hazard?s there too.

Wannabe?I read a study by Harvard that stated with the increasing rate of video game use by children is having a higher impact on lack of communicating ability and an 80% higher risk of carpal tunnel syndrome before they are 16. Txting is another form of language. My friends and I had our own languages when we were kids. They just need to understand that it is not how you speak on a regular basis.

Pointydog? I agree. Because they weren?t around when we were kids, we see them differently. My mother had concerns about my using my Atari for more than 15min a day. Children need to be told the potential risks of gadgets so they understand that it is not a good idea to excessively use them.

LoopyLena · 30/04/2008 18:55

Link for the report I quoted from...

news.zdnet.co.uk/communications/0,1000000085,39377517,00.htm?r=1

LoopyLena · 30/04/2008 18:59

I feel the less contact you have with a mobile phone the better and I worry that young children use them too much and it's the prolonged use that's an issue with health.

As long as parents limit the amount of time the phone is switched on and near the childs head I guess it's ok, but my step daughter never puts hers down or switches it off! She sleeps with it under her pillow! It's really not good, she's been doing this for 7 years already and she's only 15!!!

I hope this clarifies where I am coming from.

cat64 · 01/05/2008 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

chefswife · 01/05/2008 11:32

Cat64? I understand that?s the point but don?t you remember when you were a kid/teenager. Even though they get caught, grounded and privileges taken away, they still can be wily.

cat64 · 01/05/2008 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ingram · 25/06/2009 06:50

I will avoid my child having a phone even at secondary school or at least only for emergencies. The government advises against mobile phone use by children under 16 so why are we letting our kids use them? Look at www.wiredchild.org - there is lots of evidence that mobile phones could be really harmful for kids

cory · 25/06/2009 08:30

not convinced by the textspeak argument though

can anyone explain to me the qualitative difference between textspeak and the abbreviations used by all medieval writers?

If St Bernard and Thomas Aquino were able to hang onto their brain cells while writing gla dno (=gloria Domino), why are abbrevations so bad for the present generation?

sarah293 · 25/06/2009 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Belgimum · 07/01/2010 20:11

thanks everyone, i've found this thread really interesting... My 10 year old DD has been bugging me for phone and so far i have trotted out the "no need for one" arguments posted here, but i get where Zog is coming from - she wants one because it is fun and cool but actually there is no end to the desire for fun and cool things on her list ipod,(birthday) nintendo(last christmas) etc etc and i think i'm going to resist for a while longer - otherwise i'm just feeding an incessant desire for 'stuff'.

bluejeans · 07/01/2010 20:16

I got my 9 year old DD one for Christmas - she only texts two friends and my mum but is loving it. It has been brilliant for when she's playing at one of her friends in the street's houses and I need to tell her her dinner's ready! Also she went to the shop the other day and texted me as they didn't have one of the things I asked her to get so I was able to phone her to tell her what to get. She'll not be taking it to school though.

claw3 · 07/01/2010 20:19

My ds's didnt have mobile phones until they started secondary school and were out and about on their own.

What use could a 9 year old have for a mobile phone, unless they are allowed to go out on their own?

Galena · 07/01/2010 21:18

'They have conversations via text instead of actually speaking to each other. very sad if you ask me. '

Like having conversations on a webforum?

thesteelfairy · 07/01/2010 21:27

Ds is 7 and he has one, so he can ring his dad or me whenever he is with either one of us. He only has family members numbers programmed into it. I don't think he should have to ask to ring either of his parents.

Spidermama · 07/01/2010 21:28

My 9 year old got one at the same time as his 10 year old sister. He has T1 diabetes so it really helps him have the freedom to, say, go to a friend's house for tea. He can call me to discuss blood sugars and insulin.

Also it means he can play out and call for friends etc. I think it gives him a bit more freedom and me a bit more piece of mind.

Apart from all of that he absolutely LOVES it and makes the most of his modest 'phone whilst learning about technology.

He's way ahead of me already and I'm grateful to finally have someone vaguely geeky in the house to help me keep up a bit.

MiladyDeWinter · 07/01/2010 21:29

DD has one for emergencies - like today when we mistakenly thought her school was open. DH dropped her off, school was closed and she was sent back home in a blizzard without anyone letting her in the door, checking someone was at home or even that her phone had battery / credit. I dread to think what might have happened if I had been at work.

bluejeans · 07/01/2010 21:30

Galena

GarryandtheWashingMachine · 07/01/2010 21:35

The kids in our county go to middle school at age nine, so my DD started walking with a friend to school this September.

She has some special needs and this change of school has been an anxious time for her. She has rung me once or twice to check where items are ("In your bag like I said earlier, my lovely girl!") or to tell me that her after-school club has been cancelled. Her 'phone use has been very, very low and, even though it was her dad who talked me into giving her his old 'phone, it has been a positive thing.

Happily, there doesn't seem to be a culture of texting or phoning friends among her peers nor do we get phone muggings.

Casmama · 07/01/2010 21:39

sorry too many posts to read all so hope i'm not repeating what other people have said but why not let him spend money on what he likes. If he doesn't have any money for calls it will soon lose its sparkle.

I have a friend who bought her 7 year old a mobile for xmas - he went missing for hours the other day - and didn't have it switched on!

bluejeans · 07/01/2010 21:39

spidermama yes! After spending a frustrating hour on Xmas eve trying to work out how to work DDs phone I was amazed how quickly she figured it out for herself the next day. I guess her brain cells haven't started dying off yet

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