To be fed up with an education system that ignores bright but quiet kids.

[ButterMints]

DD9 came home last night upset because once again her efforts in class had been ignored.

The teacher in the class had awarded class points to kids who had "worked hard in maths".

DD had got every question correct but didn't get a point. Points were awarded to children who didn't get 100%.

This seems to be a pattern with both my kids, where they are consistently ignored in favour of loud but less successful children.

My older child left primary school last year frustrated and disillusioned with school, having spent much of the time in class reading whilst others caught up with the work that they had already completed. And in their words, "I get 100% on my practice SATS papers every time and get nothing, but the kids who go from 50% to 60% get all the rewards."

I get it, I really do. Teachers have finite resources. But as a parent it's incredibly frustrating to once again find myself reassuring my child that their efforts do not go unnoticed.

It's a sad reflection of an education that is letting children down across the board. Schools desperately need more funding so that ALL children can reach their full potential.

I hear you OP. The disruptive ones are the only ones that matter. Anything to make them slightly less disruptive.

The teacher should be setting the children who are getting 100% more challenging work.

They should but with 30 kids in a class, many of whom need extra attention of a different time its not so easy to find the time

I totally agree with you, OP. My son is in Year 5, always in highest sets, and he has not learnt a new thing at school since Year 3! Whatever he knows, he's been taught at home by us, especially maths. He is very bored at school, and the teachers know it, so he is told to read a book while everybody else is working (he finishes his tasks in 2 min). The school is a total waste of time for him and I'm frustrated that we cannot afford to go private. Anyway, 11+ is coming, so hopefully it will get better in the grammar school, where he will be adequately challenged (really looking forward to thatI). Ah, and yes, he is a quiet boy and never gets any recognition during school assemblies/in the newsletters. I also think it's the system and we've given up hope, really. I think the school's focus is on the kids who underachieve. Not sure if it's the same everywhere else.

If his sense of disappointment is coming directly from him, and not from you asking whether he has got an award, then I would have a quiet word with the teacher. Just say you understand what she is doing in terms of motivating children who are working hard, but that you felt she should be aware that it is a difficult concept for your son to grasp and that he sometimes feels his work goes unacknowledged. Don't word it as a grumble, but just as feedback about something of which she might not be aware.

This made me smile, as my son is
very competitve at a sport and he was trying to explain to me how badly he did in a race after an injury. He said 'it was awful mum, I got my own clap!'

We had the same experience with our DS at primary school, quite a few years ago. Judging by the merit charts and " artist of the week" type displays on the classroom walls, you would never have known that my academic, well behaved DS even existed in his class. The plaudits were were almost invariably given on either a remedial basis, or to the class " characters".

DS, aged 5, suggested that he was going to be really naughty Mon- Wed, then behave on Thu and Fri, in an attempt to be awarded Star of the Week, because he had twigged that the winners did exactly that. Whatever a parent says to a child to explain that some children find work/ good behaviour more challenging than others, ignoring a child who has no such issues, amounts to neglecting their needs.

We were fortunate that I was able to secure a more lucrative job, so that we could move DS to an independent school, where he was properly catered for.

YANBU. this is exactly why we stretched ourselves to move to the private sector.

No, she was explicitly told, after her classroom session, to focus on delivery that the lowest abilities in the class could engage in and she could see how disengaged the other students became when she did that in subsequent sessions. The issue shocked us and we wondered if it was because the behaviour ramped up when this group, in this classroom, were not kept fully engaged (a very challenging year group by all accounts) and that the other children just got on with it! We all work in the sector, she is very clear what she was dressed down about and told, in no uncertain terms, to change her approach in the classroom. I am not saying it happens in all and I've been a governor in a variety of schools, but it certainly happened in the one she was placed within.

And some people say we choose Private "to avoid the plebs"

My parents also very much brought their children up to be modest about their achievements and to believe in Cinderella and other fairy stories.

C-B is good academics, I agree, but not "effortlessly the best" as many people are putting it. And it's also not a direct trajectory of "worst grades - no reward" and "best grades - highest reward".

Another thing to bear in mind is that parents will also reward grades differently. I didn't get any sort of parental praise for results under an A grade.

I'm definitely not saying that effort shouldn't be rewarded (I'd certainly have liked reward for my blood-sweat-tears maths grades vs my easy-as-pie English ones...) - just saying that the blase assumption that those with the highest grades will have the best results is generally untrue.

The simplest thing is to just make sure that all kids get their sticker or certificate at some point for whatever is relevant to them at some point in the year. It's not difficult - you could prep all the certificates at the start of the year and just make sure all of them are given out at some point during the year.

I think this is genuinely the case

I reviewed headteacher responses to governor questions last week. Phrases such as

'target our efforts at bottom 20% to improve attainment data'

'Class doesnt move on until whole class is secure in their understanding as need to understand concept 1 before can move to concept 2 as the learning takes a scaffolding approach' (this implies they are moving at pace of least able child)

'Children who are struggling most should get more of the teachers time as they are the most qualified person in the room, more able children's learning to be TA led'.

We went private from pre-prep for various reasons and we've found in terms of recognition, the end of year prizes always go to the same kids - oddly enough the kids of the super wealthy (suspect the prizes are bought rather than earned)

Horrendous. One of my grandchildren has been acknowledged to be “gifted” but cannot proceed beyond the class as there’s no one who can keep up with him. He’s only in primary school so I hope his mum & dad can find a way to keep him encouraged and engaged as he gets older. At the moment he’s just reading everything he can get his hands on.

Thats a crappy Private school, vote with your feet.

This isn’t always true. I’ve had students who absolutely had to work hard to get a 100% and who have since struggled as they moved to universities/places of work where they were with people who could get 100% in their sleep.
We should praise for effort not outcome but it’s hard to get it right.
My DS at five said that he’d get more praise if he was sometimes naughty and that is an issue that schools need to deal with children that are mostly good are ignored.

That was one of the major reasons we sent both DC private from secondary

State education systems do not really cater for individual children - they haven't got the resources to do so. The point of state education systems is to attempt to ensure that all children get a minimum acceptable standard of education. An awful lot is said and written that contradicts this but it just isn't true. Children's upbringing and education is the responsibility of the parents - school is just one supplier among others of educational input.

Sadly I taught at private schools. The grass isn’t greener for this. Some private schools do better with students who are naturally academic and others do better with students who are not naturally academic. Knowing which your child is and what the school is good at makes a difference.

This is very true.

I spent part of my school years abroad.

Each year we had to pass end of year exams before being allowed to "go up". As a result there was a range of ages in each class. I remember being 7 with an 11 year old classmate ( who was only in the younger class because she was Japanese and only spoke excellent but not quite fluent English). Mostly it was only a year or two discrepancy

I was a quiet, clever child and grew up in the age of being awarded for achievement, rather than participation or effort. I was always so proud whenever I got a certificate, star of the week etc.
That being said I was never athletic so I was never rewarded on sports day, during cross country, or PE. That was just something I learnt to deal with - even if I tried really hard, I just wasn't particularly good at sports. I didn't expect a reward when someone else performed better, even if I sometimes was a bit jealous/upset when friends got a certificate and I didn't.

I dont actually think experiencing that disappointment and learning to accept strengths v weaknesses is a bad thing? Not everyone can be athletic/academic/artistic/a good performer - whatever it is. It is prep for how things are as an adult in that you can't be, and don't have to be, good at everything.

There are a lot of rewards for participation these days and I think it actually takes away from the kids who have worked hard, or are gifted - they deserve to be celebrated and rewarding everyone means there's no distinction. Paying little attention to the smarter kids because they just 'get on with it' is unfair, and leaves them demotivated.

It's just crap all round. I don't envy the teachers though - lot of budget cuts and tough calls.

This was going on when I was in school - the awards always seemed to go to boys who spent the majority of their school life thumping the life out of the girls, never doing their homework, and talking in the classroom. It became obvious to me at a really early age that all that happened if I got on quietly and did well was that I'd be paired with one of said boys and asked to essentially teach him, because the teacher was busy with one of the others.

I've done alright for myself despite a very difficult childhood - I learned how to diligently work on something without receiving any notice or praise, but that doesn't mean it was a particularly pleasant experience. I dread to think what lesson all those boys learned.

Presumably that girls and women are emotional support things for boys/men?