To be fed up with an education system that ignores bright but quiet kids.

[ButterMints]

DD9 came home last night upset because once again her efforts in class had been ignored.

The teacher in the class had awarded class points to kids who had "worked hard in maths".

DD had got every question correct but didn't get a point. Points were awarded to children who didn't get 100%.

This seems to be a pattern with both my kids, where they are consistently ignored in favour of loud but less successful children.

My older child left primary school last year frustrated and disillusioned with school, having spent much of the time in class reading whilst others caught up with the work that they had already completed. And in their words, "I get 100% on my practice SATS papers every time and get nothing, but the kids who go from 50% to 60% get all the rewards."

I get it, I really do. Teachers have finite resources. But as a parent it's incredibly frustrating to once again find myself reassuring my child that their efforts do not go unnoticed.

It's a sad reflection of an education that is letting children down across the board. Schools desperately need more funding so that ALL children can reach their full potential.

Hang on in there primary mums. This stops at secondary. Your kids will get the last laugh. The gcse examining boards don’t care about anything but what is on those exam papers. Dd1 was quiet and hard working and got stellar results. The school sure as hell
boast about you then!

May have already posted this but overheard my very grand mum friend say to
her son when he was sad about once again being passed over for star of the week despite being good and hard working consistently “cheer up we don’t need external validation in our family darling”.

Star of the week is Bullshit in most schools anyway and the older kids know it.
When she was around 8 DD caught sight of a list on her teachers desk that scheduled all the Stars of the week for the coming year, presumably to make sure everyone got a chance. Teacher came a cropper when the child awarded it one week had been on holiday all that week and the one before.

NO, maybe she got the marks because she has ALREADY been working hard. For a very long time??
You sound so nasty and vociferous about children who achieve high marks - why do you have this idea that its impossible that they achieved them via high marks?!

You sound bitter and frankly quite jealous

Being naturally bright is not a virtue. Mind, it is unfair not to notice them - that's not very inclusive.

The final straw for my autistic child before deregistering them was not being awarded the privilege of having a plush wombat to sit on their desk for the day in recognition of effort and achievement by the final time it was given out, especially when others who got lower grades or lower ranks on the behaviour chart had had it - they (being quiet, academic and rule-following) tried so hard to be perfect in the hope that this would get the prize that they actually triggered a complete breakdown which took months to recover from. They could not believe that the teacher had "lied" about it being for 'being good' objectively and was actually giving it out for relative good behaviour instead.

I think this would be the fairest way round it (though not easy in busy classrooms either):

Actually I think some schools could also make more of giving out more non-academic achievement certificates to the academic kids… for improvement in non academic things they may struggle with like PE or neat handwriting or emotional skills development or skills such as team work, resilience etc

It’s better than rewarding them for being naturally good at academic stuff. I say that as a parent of two academically ‘gifted’ (i.e. they don’t have to work hard at it, not that they’re geniuses) children who struggle with emotional/social skills and PE respectively but have worked so hard in those areas and that’s seldom recognised.

The other thing, as PPs have mentioned is making sure they are regularly challenged by some of the work they do in class, even if it’s not possible all the time. It should be possible to have some independent work that stretches (in an interesting way) the more academically able children even if the ideal of more teacher time is impossible. I think it’s not fair to reward children for effort not attainment but then not give all children a chance to put effort in. So either provide stretch and then reward the children for that effort or reward for attainment as well as effort if you can’t stretch them.

OP, I totally sympathise and what I have done with my kids is:

1. Explain the true purpose of the awards
2. Regularly praise my children for their achievements (but especially when they’ve worked a bit harder or had to push themselves outside their comfort zone!)
3. Find opportunities for them to do things they find hard and point out to them what that feels like to encourage empathy with their peers
4. Sympathise with them but tell them that we often just have to put up with things and make the best of them and ‘aren’t we lucky that…’

However, I do think you should be discussing with the school what they can do to help your DD to be challenged a little or at least recognise her successes. I was very lucky that, although my kids found regular lessons fairly easy and sadly maths went from being the favourite thing to being boring very quickly, my kids’ primary school were great at providing lots of experiences and opportunities for kids to push themselves and get some recognition (positions of responsibility, poetry recitals, optional academic competitions, etc.) Resources are limited but they should be able to at least try to meet her needs a bit better. If not, I’d be looking for another school or, if she’d be happier staying put, gritting my teeth and focusing on the positives with her until secondary school.