To be worried about stains on my boyfriend’s sofa

[DemiSec9]

I spotted a v bright pink sticky stain (bubble gum colour and thick) on my bf’s sofa. I asked him about it and he said he had no idea what it was. He’s renting and the sofa doesn’t belong to him but I feel sure I would have noticed it if it’d been there from when he moved in?

He cleaned it off a few weeks ago but when I went back today, there’s a similar texture and shape black stain in exactly the same place! I’ll photograph this one, wish I had done the last one.

I’ve been seeing him for 6 months. We both have kids in their early 20s and are separated. We live in separate flats to each other. He has a history of cheating which he speaks openly about. I have never cheated but I have been cheated on many times and I’m beginning to worry.

He cleaned it off a few weeks ago but when I went back today, there’s a similar texture and shape black stain in exactly the same place so the outline of what was there before?

If you think he's shagging someone (who likes bubblegum) then just leave him. The trust isn't there and this sort of detective work will leave you spiralling until everything becomes a sign of cheating and then even if he isn't cheating he'll probably feel like cheating or just end it himself.

So it’s either food, dropped by BF or one of his adult children when visiting.

Or it’s lip gloss and that’s what you think it is, isn’t it?

Could be his adult daughter, if he has one. Could be another woman.

But you’re only six months in and he’s told you he’s a serial cheater. If you don’t trust him, and can’t face a life of always wondering and worrying, move on.

So from the cheating chat, you think it’s a sex stain? The second stain, well, I know what it sounds like but I’m buggered if I can think of what the bright pink could be? Like, menstrual blood and semen? Would it be sticky? You’d think he’d be wanting to cover up signs of sex if e was up to no good, no?

Is it not possible it’s one of the kids doing it on the sofa?

@EmotionalSupportBiscuit love the name!!!!

Why date someone with a history of cheating?

Are you thinking it’s period blood which can sometimes be pink or dark brown/black depending on flow and whether or not it’s at the beginning or end of a period? I feel like this might be what you mean. If you don’t trust him though, leave. Who can be arsed with this shit? 🤣

Edit to add that having re read your post it doesn’t sound like blood given that it’s bright pink and really thick but I can’t see why these stains would suggest cheating? They sound odd but could be anything and if you have no other evidence I’m struggling to see how you have arrived at this conclusion?

Period blood and semen?

! I thought lipgloss

I thought lipgloss/stick, eyemakeup

Why on earth are you with someone who openly admits to being a cheat?

Fuck him off.

Hmmm possibly, who wears black lipstick though? Very few people I would think, although I know a few do I think that’s unlikely, and why would eye make up be that thick? I thought blood because it can sometimes be quite thick/mucus like and if it’s in the exact same place whoever it is (if anyone) might sit on the same seat with their crotch area in the same spot so it would make more sense 🤮 awful thought, I know 🤣. That’s how I thought OP may have been thinking that, but even I think it’s a reach, personally. It could literally be anything, but either way I couldn’t be arsed if I didn’t trust him, just leave.

Why date someone with a disgusting stain filled sofa,

Maybe he’s shagging mr blobby and is doing a really good job of it!

🤣

Maybe the black stain in exactly the same place is some dirt that has adhered to the original, still sticky, mark that wasn't cleaned thoroughly? Though I wouldn't go so far as to say "disgusting stain filled sofa" when the OP has only mentioned one mark on there.

Why are you worried about it, what do you think it is?

I thought she was worried it was lube

🤣🤣🤣

The pink stain looked like a glob of lipstick - you know if a pinhead sized lump broke off then was ground into fabric? It was bright pink.

He doesn’t have female relatives who visit, just a grown up son.

Sending a pic of the new black marks which could easily be a leaked pen but it’s weird that it’s so close to where the other stain was.

That stain could be anything.

The issue here isn't the stain, it's that you know deep down you don't trust him so you're looking for clues in tiny irrelevant sofa stains.

If you can't trust him then I don't think this one's a keeper, OP.

Go take a look in the mirror. Tell yourself that you're taking photographs of stains on a sofa and asked strangers for their opinions on whether your boyfriend is cheating. Think about that, have a word with yourself and go pack whatever you've got in his flat, as this relationship is going nowhere.

I do think maybe I’ve gone a bit bonkers. I shouldn’t have to be worrying like this.

For context, we get on really well in all other ways and he’s the most supportive man I’ve ever known.

It’s like you don’t know if the doubt is real or in your mind? I haven’t had a serious relationship with a man who’s not cheated on me.

It’s a clean sofa but for those marks.

Well I thought you were going to say there was jiz everywhere.

Why are you dating a known, repeat cheater?

Life is too short to be staring at random stains on your boyfriend's sofa (and taking pictures!)

If you don't trust him, dump him!