To be worried about stains on my boyfriend’s sofa

[DemiSec9]

I spotted a v bright pink sticky stain (bubble gum colour and thick) on my bf’s sofa. I asked him about it and he said he had no idea what it was. He’s renting and the sofa doesn’t belong to him but I feel sure I would have noticed it if it’d been there from when he moved in?

He cleaned it off a few weeks ago but when I went back today, there’s a similar texture and shape black stain in exactly the same place! I’ll photograph this one, wish I had done the last one.

I’ve been seeing him for 6 months. We both have kids in their early 20s and are separated. We live in separate flats to each other. He has a history of cheating which he speaks openly about. I have never cheated but I have been cheated on many times and I’m beginning to worry.

"He has a history of cheating which he speaks openly about."

This is your problem. You can't trust him. If it wasn't stains on the sofa, it'd be something else making you feel uneasy.

I'd end it now, while there's no real commitment, as I'd have no interest in pursuing a future with an untrustworthy man.

He’s a cheat, his sofa is stained - just move on.

Why are you with someone who openly admits to cheating on past partners? He's telling you who he is.. believe him.

End it now. You are not special, you're not going to change him. He'll cheat on you like he cheated on the others.

he’s the most supportive man I’ve ever known.

They all are at 6 months into a casual relationship.. it's not hard to keep up the pretence at that stage, he won't 'slip' until he knows he's got you hook line and sinker.

If you've never been in a relationship where someone hasn't cheated on you then you may as well walk away now, your mental health will be through the floor with this one.

It doesn't matter how well you get on. Without trust, you don't have a relationship that is worth investing time and effort in.

You have been cheated on before - if you don't want that to happen again, then you need to ditch this self-confessed cheater.

That stain could be anything, could be food, drink etc.

You obviously don't trust the man, so just leave him instead of freaking out about random stains on sofas. That's not normal.

He's a cheat with a dirty sofa. Ditch him for the cheating.

Pretty sure that's just a stain. I feel your reading into things too much and clearly
Don't trust him op

I would throw this one back and find a man who at the very least doesn’t openly admit to being unfaithful. How low is your bar, exactly?

Could it be the same stain that has turned dark?

What are you even asking?

Do people think my BF is snagging someone else because a pink stain on the sofa?

Because if that's your ask, I suggest you get help for your obvious trauma and trust issues. Either that or there's FAR more to this scenario.

If he's untrustworthy then leave him

If your not able to trust someone who hasn't given you reason to distrust them - get help.

@toomuchfaff 'If your not able to trust someone who hasn't given you reason to distrust them - get help.'

He's given her reason to distrust him, and he openly admits cheating on his exes.
OP should have dumped him upon hearing this, anything else is just signing up for humiliation and misery.

was just about to edit and amend, he's cheated before so why even start anything! absolutely stupid IMO

Six months into a relationship you should not have to be worrying about stains on your boyfriend's sofa. If he has a cheating past, why would he be any different now?

You've been cheated on by every boyfriend you've ever had, and you've still started another relationship with a man who admits to being a serial cheat?

OP, this is beyond unhealthy. The stains on on the sofa are not the issue here; they're meaningless. The issue is that you are in a relationship in which you're never going to feel even remotely secure. Are you some kind of masochist?

Sending a pic of the new black marks which could easily be a leaked pen but it’s weird that it’s so close to where the other stain was.

So both could have just been something that was in his pocket which has leaked then?

This relationship hasn't got legs to stand on, you are 6 months into a relationship and are taking pictures of his sofa, asking mumsnet what we think it could be. You dont trust the guy, and you have good reason to, he openly admits to being a cheat, you now have it in your mind he is cheating, and so will see things that might/might not be there. Imagine if there were two cups out, your mind would jump to 'did he have someone over' - when the explanation could very well be he had two drinks. You dont trust him - end it.

Cheats don't just stop being liars and cheats when a new woman rolls around!

He has learned he can have his cake and eat it too. You should dump him for his stanky history of lying and sticking his wibbler in as many woman as he can while making them think they're the only one.

He's gross and you deserve better.

He's a serial cheater with a manky sofa - sounds quite the catch. You say you have never been with anyone who hasn't cheated - do you think a self confessed serial cheater is going to be the one to break the streak? Get rid.

I think if you’re at the point of inspecting his stains then you need to call it a day. It’s only been 6 months, he’s an open cheater and you both seem too old for these games if you have kids in their 20s.

Find someone you can trust.

In all honesty if it's got to the stage you're sending photos of a stain on his sofa to an Internet forum I think the trust has gone

Those stains could be anything 🤷‍♀️ blood, food, drink... literally anything! The bigger issue here is your lack of trust. He has a history of cheating - that's why you think he's untrustworthy. The biggest indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour OP. Why are you dating a bloke with a history of cheating? Especially as you've experienced being cheated on in the past!

YABU for getting into a relationship with a known cheater.

We get on really well in all other ways and he’s the most supportive man I’ve ever known

Maybe, but at only 6 months in anyone can put on a good show

I'd be more bothered about the cheating which he "speaks openly about", doubtless so that when you find out he does it to you too he can claim you've got nothing to complain about because he "was open about what he's like"

Ha, hello emotional support twin!