To be worried about stains on my boyfriend’s sofa

[DemiSec9]

I spotted a v bright pink sticky stain (bubble gum colour and thick) on my bf’s sofa. I asked him about it and he said he had no idea what it was. He’s renting and the sofa doesn’t belong to him but I feel sure I would have noticed it if it’d been there from when he moved in?

He cleaned it off a few weeks ago but when I went back today, there’s a similar texture and shape black stain in exactly the same place! I’ll photograph this one, wish I had done the last one.

I’ve been seeing him for 6 months. We both have kids in their early 20s and are separated. We live in separate flats to each other. He has a history of cheating which he speaks openly about. I have never cheated but I have been cheated on many times and I’m beginning to worry.

I’ve already done pube analysis! He’s entirely bald-headed and I have black Afro hair so any straight light-coloured hair triggers my mind.

I’ve tried countless times to look at his phone whilst he’s asleep or in the shower.

I’ve never met his ds (20) but he’s met my dd (22). This bothers me. He says it’s because his ds finds it too weird seeing him with another woman.

I can assure you that if the first stain were a lump of lipstick ground in it would still be there now, and a year from now. That stuff is seriously pigmented, just ask my 2yo. It’s never ever coming out of my carpets .

Sorry, but none of this sounds remotely healthy. Checking his phone while he’s in the bathroom and analysing the colour of stray pubes?

Get him dumped and get yourself some therapy. This will eat you alive and he’ll most likely cheat anyway.

All I'm seeing right now is an woman with serious problems, strange behaviours etc you need help!

Go take a look in the mirror. Tell yourself that you're taking photographs of stains on a sofa and asked strangers for their opinions on whether your boyfriend is cheating. Think about that

Definitely this. What's the point of staying?

If you're relying on people online to give you hope that he can change... That says quite a lot.

Kindly this is not healthy and I'm sure you deserve the very best. Go get it

He has a history of cheating which he speaks openly about. I have never cheated but I have been cheated on many times.

Why would you do this to yourself, as you you are now experiencing, waiting for the other shoe to drop is no life.

Look, you keep being cheated on because you are choosing cheaters.

You can tell if he has really 'reformed' from how he talks about his cheating. The fact he is using 'reasons' to excuse it means he isn't changed.

I am a reformed cheater. When the 'have you ever cheated' conversation comes up, I tak about how yes, I did, in the 1990s. I also talk about how I saw the devastation it caused to my then-boyfriend, and it made me realise what a piece of shit I was to do that to someone. I vowed there and then to never cheat again.

But that's not how your bf talks about his cheating, is it, OP?

The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.

Sounds like all of the (bubble gum) wasn't removed, and has just become dirty leaving a black blob.